Should we define the relation before having sex?

[Anonymous]

He is not ready to define the relationship before sex, he met me only 4 times in 2 years. And expects me to have sex. We were talking since 2 years. I don’t feel secure or comfortable as he is extremely inconsistent. I feel there should be some kind of defination not a committed one before having sex. Am I wrong to want this?

[Anonymous]

No, you are not wrong to want some level of definition or clarity in the relationship before engaging in a sexual relationship. It is important to have open and honest communication about expectations, boundaries, and intentions in any relationship, including a romantic or sexual one.

Feeling secure and comfortable in a relationship is crucial for your emotional well-being. If you have concerns about the inconsistency and lack of commitment from the person you are seeing, it is reasonable to seek clarity and understanding before taking the relationship to a more intimate level.

Having a conversation about your desires, expectations, and concerns can help establish a mutual understanding and ensure that both parties are on the same page. It is important to advocate for your own needs and boundaries and to find a resolution that feels comfortable for you.

Ultimately, every individual and relationship is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional well-being in making decisions about your relationships and when to engage in sexual activity.

[MrOracle]

The rule is: if you have sex without requiring a relationship first, you will almost certainly never get the relationship. As a woman, you are the gatekeeper of sex, while men are the gatekeepers of relationships/commitment. If the man is already getting everything he wants, why would he commit, when commitment is costly?

I also strongly caution you against being in a long distance relationship - they almost never work out. If you were smart, you would only date locally, so that you could spend real time with your partner on a regular basis (several times a week on average). Most people don't listen to that advice, and they all eventually come to regret it. Everyone thinks that they will be the rare exception, but those are really rare.

[DeanFreed]

I always thought oracle was a database
But this guy is good

[HateyouxD]

You arnt wrong. But don't go forward with this. Your gut is telling you this whole thing is wrong. Ask yourself... are you really being rated on the sex just for commitment. You're going down the wrong path.
Why is it taking 2 years to settle something with this guy. He's going to use you

[Summeroflove]

Then don’t. You don’t have to have sex with anyone in fact I just advise you cut contact with him. This is creepy and at best using you for sex at worst a rapist.



I think there’s better out there. You just need to tell him NO he isn’t entitled to sex

[spartan55]

Are you trying to set some sort of record for slowest moving relationship ever? Seeing each other times in two years doesn't deserve any sort of definition.

[Asker]

Its because its kind of ldr. And sometimes he calls me his girlfriend other times he cannot decide. Like wtf.

[spartan55]

Doesn't matter what it is... you can't have anything seeing someone so little.

[Anonymous]

He's probably married