Is sex necessary in a relationship?

[simon]

I just want to see the importance of sex to you in your own relationships...

[pancake]

​That's like stepping into a minefield wearing clown shoes – you never know what you're gonna get, but it's bound to be interesting!

Imagine relationships are like sandwiches. For some people, sex is like the avocado in a sandwich – it's essential, delicious, and makes everything better. These folks can't imagine their relationship sandwich without that creamy green goodness.

But then, there are folks for whom sex is like pickles in a sandwich. Sure, pickles are great for some, but others are perfectly happy without them. Maybe they don't like the taste, or they just prefer their sandwich without the tang. In these relationships, the bond is built on other stuff – deep conversations, shared hobbies, Netflix binges, or just being goofy together.

The key thing here is, there's no 'one size fits all' when it comes to relationships. Just like how some people swear by peanut butter and pickle sandwiches (yes, that's a real thing!), what works in a relationship can vary wildly from one couple to the next.

It's like if you're making a sandwich for someone else – you gotta know if they're into spicy mustard or if they're more of a mayo person. Talking openly about needs, desires, and boundaries makes sure everyone's on the same page and nobody's biting into something they didn't expect.

So, is sex necessary in a relationship? It's like asking if you need olives on your pizza – for some, it's a must-have; for others, not so much...

[Anonymous]

The pleasure we obtain through sex is a natural human desire so I mean if two human beings are in a relationship it obviously is a component. That’s not to say when you’re in a relationship you’re entitled to it, but more like since it’s something we both want it would be logical that we provide it to eachother- assuming both parties want it. I don’t think it is the basis of all relationships and I don’t think it is integral to all relationships because even if it’s surprising there are human beings that don’t enjoy sex. I’m waiting until marriage so you could say that (immediate) sex isn’t necessary for my future relationships.

[HawkPerception]

I wouldn't exactly call myself a nymphomaniac, but sex is important. Sexual compatibility is a thing. Like don't get me wrong. If I'm with that partner for years and develop an everlasting bond and trust with them and something were to happen to them where they could not have sex for the rest of their life, I'd be okay with it and just be with the them. I'd be content because of all the history and memories we have together. I guess I'd just ask them to jerk me off and if they couldn't do even that, as long as I know they haven't lost their love for me, I'd just do it myself 😂

However, if you're in a relationship with someone, you should have the desire to fulfill their needs sexually and they should have the same desire for you. Having sex regularly builds intimacy, both emotionally and physically. When someone's sexual desires are repressed because their partner is not even willing to attempt a sexual kink of theirs, that desire builds up and eventually becomes toxic. Some immature people end up cheating because they don't want to lose their partner, but their desires aren't being fulfilled. I'm not saying that cheating is okay. It's not, but I'm just saying that one of the main causes for it is sexual desires not being fulfilled.

[CalmUntilAbused]

In just any relationship? Not really, in most of them it's even better if there is none. In the true, traditonal, purely Catholic marriage? In this case, the answer would be positive. It's not as much about the crude act of mating as it is about the shared responsibility of raising the children that helps to keep the family together in times of increased tensions, both internal and external. And we're not talking about erotomaniac quantities when it comes to the crude act of mating. Just pump in most of the oxitocin production capacity available over a long period of time. When it seems that no oxitocin is generated during it anymore, the crude act of mating loses its direct beneficial effects and might as well be abandoned, unless the family is not as large as the married couple would like it to be.

[CalmUntilAbused]

"the married couple in question"*

[coachTanthony]

Yes because without it all you have is a friendship or worse a business partner.

[Unit1]

What's wrong with business partners? Aren't they mutually beneficial sources of income?

[coachTanthony]

Never have a hot business partner you can’t fuck

[Unit1]

Eh, I'll have my own opinion on that. I'm the notorious "money monster".
I imagine rich folks can easily afford to be attractive, so they might as well be attractive.

[Apple1996]

Not necessarily. I like sex but it isn't required in my relationship

[SueShe]

No, sex is not the most important in a relationship. Actually, it is the number one factor why so many relationships fail nowadays. Because people place so much importance on such a trivial thing, they place sex/pornography above anything else and that is the reason why there are so much misunderstandings and conflicts.

If relationships would not have sex as a catalyst, then there would simply be no cheating since you remove the only thing why people cheat on their partners. No sex, no cheating and life would be so much easier.

Furthermore, I hear that sex can be an addictive subject just like drugs or gambling are for instance.

[CalmUntilAbused]

The big problem here is that it's needed to keep humanity alive. Otherwise, I wholeheartedly agree. "No sex" is demographically degrading, "no sex as the relationship catalyst" is the way to go. You know what? People should leave it alone until getting married (I mean the true, traditional, purely Catholic - or otherwise religious - marriage).

[SueShe]

@CalmUntilAbused Is it really a good think to keep human growing at that rate?

Furthermore, in 99.99% of the cases fornication only serves to destroy life and not to procreate.

[CalmUntilAbused]

I can't deny a certain truth in what You said. However, I think that ensuring the survival of humanity is the only hope at this moment. And if we wanted to find our new place in the universe, we would need even more people.

[SueShe]

@CalmUntilAbused We do not need to conquer and devastate more space in the universe. Also, more people on earth will simply accelerate the destruction of the planet. Conquering space will not be feasible as long as we are incapable to live in harmony on Earth.

I totally oppose the conquering of space and would not hesitate to do whatever it takes, even illegal means to sabotage any attempt to pollute space.

It is totally impossible to survive several generation in space because of the various problems associated with it stating with living so long isolated in a spacecraft. Thank goodness, that option is not available to humanity for the next few centuries, by which time we will (hopefully) destroyed the earth.

[hahahmm]

Yes, but it's like asking if your car needs gas/fuel. Depends on other factors too. Some cars need re-fueling every 2 miles. Some only need it every 250+ miles. Some are putting used cooking oil in the car... some have that high quality, high performance stuff.

I'm not a fan of people who run around making their life all about sex or who have sex with no intention of owning responsibilities/consequences that could arise. If you make a baby with someone who isn't going to make a good parent YOU're being selfish and retarded. Of course it's a lot easier to do stupid things than the right thing.

[hahahmm]

And in this context, I don't think young people should even be having sex till they actually have a clue how to survive on their own in the world and the pros & cons of all the ways to navigate life as an adult. In the old days people understood this stuff younger & became independent. Now we have people in their 30s and 40s with less maturity than our ancestors had at 13-18.

[AutumnSerenity]

I’d say yes. Sex is necessary in a relationship. As human beings we all have needs and desires. A sexless relationship would put us in quite a predicament since it wouldn’t be safe or ideal to fulfill our desires with strangers (that would be risky in terms of sexually transmitted diseases, potential stalkers, and just an overall demoralization of the relationship). However, if the spouse has fallen ill and is unable to have sex, then you’ll have to find an alternative solution to “self-release” (masturbation, toys, etc). Tough situation though, in my opinion.

[NathanDavis]

very much so, when both value it and seek it, yes...

but let's not make the mistake to think that sex would the ONLY important thing in a relationship and nor the most important priority on top of everyone else

ideally... in great relationships, the many or few aspects we really consider important are somewhat balanced and always connected... not necessary to just put one all the way above others

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Yes. It is one of the best ways to build and keep intimacy in a relationship. Otherwise your just friends. I have plenty of friends and not looking to add to that pool. If I am in a relationship and she doesn't want sex, that relationship will be ended, there is no need to pursue it further.

[blueonblack22]

It’s not really a relationship then. Just a friendship.

Sometimes there are legitimate reasons to stay celibate for certain periods of time. However if it is due to a physical attraction issue then it definitely is NOT a relationship.

[IslaTheWitch]

If I love my man and we are close (because without the closeness, there is no real relationship) and sex makes it only more... intimate and emotional, why should we give it up?

Like, every time I see this question, I just wonder... people... how do you really want to be together without being together?

[sawno]

Not for every couple but for me absolutely, I am the kind of guy who wants it to be a special thing between me and a very special girl. So I'm not sleeping around (I do online sext over chat at times, but the rest is reserved for someone special). So if I then am going to commit to her sexually in a monogamous exclusive way, then I do expect fulfilling sex to be part of the relationship.

[mstbooblover]

To me it seems that sex is a logical activity in a relationship, which does not mean that for some few people sex would not be mandatory. In any case, if I have the luck to find again an intimate girlfriend, sure I wish sex being part of our shared activities and good moments.

[itsannalee]

For me yes.
I asked for break up with my ex coz he didn’t touch me for months. so I took it that he wasn't interested in me anymore like before. Even thought he didn't admit it and say that he was only too tired end getting old (37yo), i can’t tolerate it. Good relationship is nice and fun in the daily and dirty on the bed. So without all of them, relationshop won’t work.

[syncheart]

In marriage yes. But one could think about sex in more broader sense. It isn't always just about penetration. Imagine how you felt about girls before puberty, and then compare it to how you feel about girls after puberty. In that sense, sex is part of what makes men and women want to find a special person.

[bobby_bush_eater]

For me ultimately the goal is to one day have a family so at some point you'd need sex. However Ii the girl is a virgin and wants to stay that way until marriage that'd be fine (admittedly difficult) but to forever say no sex that would be a no.

[RingOfFire]

No way the relationship would be complete for me without it. It is one of the strongest forms of bonding and without it the relationship would feel unfulfilling. It's what separates a friend from a lover and it is a different kind of relationship without it.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would very happily have a sexless relationship. That’s obviously not the norm and a very big reason of why I’ll probably never get married or have a romantic partner proper, but I’ll be alright with that in the end I think.

[ZackBan]

Absolutely.

I don't agree with the idea of withholding sex or using it as a convoluted power dynamic system where you only have sex under certain conditions.

If we're in romantic relationship, we fuckin, end of story.

[7Phoenix7]

It's not the most important. But definitely important and necessary.

[EmmaMary]

Personally I consider that strong sexual intimacy is extremely vital in the making and bonding of a successful relationship/marriage.

[kingmaker21]

In relationship or marriage people get bored eating same food everyday so they cheat.

[Jiko-Kaizen]

Sex is not necassary in certain types of relationships. Sex is not necessary in Casual, Platonic, Toxic, Business, Family, or Acquitances relationship, Sex is only necessary in a marriage, committed relationship, everything else, is just asking for problems that can be avoided by not giving away your precious jewels to be fondled.