I'm a virgin 16 year old too! And yeah I would wait for a period of time! But for the most part I am going to try to wait for marriage
ok ok but what would u say if someone wanted to wait till there married for sex?
I answered your question but yeah, it depends on your priorities. Of course you're still 'dating' even though remaining chaste. Just for myself, who happens to not wish to wait for marriage, there would be no point in dating someone if there was no sexual activity between us. As in... since there's nothing I'd be really waiting for with that, a boyfriend with whom I'm not intimate would be more or less the same in my books as a close male friend. If that makes sense?
well I think that u shouldn't love someone for if they can give u great sex.. I think u should love them for who they r
"What if you found you both NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE on the first night of marriage? "More often than not, there will be cock blockers to your relationship... (kids, parents, work, other things that are daily things), can you get along with them OUTSIDE the bedroom? That's one good indicator of a successful relationship not whehter she can make you c u m in the best way possible!
@TenderFantasy ur right
true true.. glade u would what for her if she wanted to wait till marriage
Wait* not what.. sry lol
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ok but what if u met the right one and she has the thought of waiting till she is married for sex?
Then she's not the right one for me, as much as I like the rest of her.
really... hmm. I think if u truly love someone than u would also respect there decision and be able to wait for them
but that's me.. u r free to think ur own thoughts. u r free to ur own opinion
Yeah, but I won't reach the level of "love" if I haven't experienced that intimacy and bond of sex.I don't believe in love though.
Y don't u believe in love?
Cause I've seen too many examples of people saying "I love you" before they did something that hurt their partner and clearly showed signs of no love, like cheating, hitting them, lying, stripping them of their money...Unless I actually experience something like how love is described, I won't believe it.
I fucking hate people that do that
opps did I say that.. lol
I hate those people too, and something similar happened in my family, with my uncle and his ex wife, so that really affected my view on "love"
u can have ur own thoughts about it. I don't judge
Cool, thanks. Same here, I won't judge. You do you ;)
yes, but the guy can turn the love argument against you and say "if you love me, you will have sex with me". I think it is unfair for both, if the guy wants to have sex and is not religious, it is unfair to put him through a sexless relationship, since he does not put the same value in virginity as an uptight religious person would, and that would be frustrating for both of you. The whole abstinent thing in my mind is just a segment of society shaming people TBH. You have a right to believe that you will go to a place down below if you have fun, but keep in mind not everyone believes in that place below the ground
true true... and fyi im religious but im not uptight.. tbh I still like fondling and sexting.
I just think most religious people are uptight, since you believe that if you have fun in life you go to the fire place lol. Not pressuring you, but my outlook in life is not to worry about when you die, if you keep on worrying about that then you miss out in all the fun things life has to offer
TBH, i just don't think you need to have a ring on the finger to have sex.
@Eric644 which is totally fine.. but yet again I am religious and I love to have fun!! and I believe that just bc I have fun doesn't mean im going to hell
but you people do believe that people who don't wait till marriage are going to hell
umm ok so then.. what? I think basically my whole family is going to hell? No! I think not.. almost EVER one in my family didn't wait... sooo yeeaa I totally think my whole family and everyone is going to hell.. fyi im bering sarcastic
well no because your family "repented" and are now chase or married, but you believe that people who still do it are going to hell
NO I don't.. I think nothing like that
sorry my experience with born again christians tells me otherwise
well not all Christian r ass whips like what ur making them all out to be.. I am nothing like that, NOTHING like that.. TBH I have even touched a dick
i went to a christian high school, almost 99% of the teachers preached to us that if you didn't do exactly this or that you were burning in the pit of fire, oh and if someone was gay, may God help them. I just had enough of the intolerance and the hate being preached that I became agnostic and live a much happier life, although I wouldn't mind re joining the Episcopal Church or joining the presbytyrian or Lutheran church. I grew up Episcopal and they were super tolerant. The catholics are getting better now with the new pope, but my high school has given me a bad taste in my moth in regards to born agains
well that's one, excuse my language, but one piss ass school and teaching the wrong things.. i have gay friends, i have black friends, i have friends that are JW's!!! but i still love them no matter what they chose.. i am so sry that school was like that, but i am not like that at all. That school is just WRONG
well thank you :) sorry I got off into a tangent. I think sex is a very personal decision and i think you are ready when you are ready, I don't think it is up to anyone else to decide for you. if it happens, but from my experience it is a very beautiful thing that you really do not need to be married to have. I think my advice to you is to talk to the person you are dating about where you stand so you don't get him trapped into a sexless relationship if that is something he does not want. Also, if one thing ever does lead to another do not feel sorry and do not let other people try to make you feel shamed for it. But I will definitely say this to anyone your age, definitely wait till you are 18 or preferably in college when you are more mature to make those decisions
and don't get me wrong, i should have clarified. there is a difference between Christians and Born again Christians as there are many tolerant Christians but born agains tend to be very fanatical
Thanks ;) i will wait a while yet.. that's mostly y i was planning on waiting till marriage, bc i think sex is scary, im scared of it! also i have had that convo with my boyfriend.. he is planning on waiting to but he still likes talking dirty and fondling.. i love the talking dirty but im not so sure that im even ready to fondle
But we have done it
the fondling i ment
I understand that sex is a scary topic and I think that you should for sure wait till you are more mature, like I said before preferably in college. But it really isn't that scary when you are doing it as a responsible adult cause at that time you are more capable of taking control of the situation and making sure the proper precautions are met. Right now you are just in high school probably and you should just live life as a teenager and decide on sex when you are an adult.
yea ik.. thank you, and i hope things turn out better for ya ;)
yeah I think they will :) . I think Episcopal might be the right way to go if I ever rejoin, but I also like a lot of what Buddhism thinks, maybe ill become a Christian Buddhist lol
lmao.. well im a Lutheran
well the Lutheran church is very tolerant :) . So don't worry. And if it happens, im sure they will not shame you
My best childhood friend is Lutheran by the way
that's awesome... and no they wouldn't shame me lol
what the heck!!! I need to go to bed, but focus on your studies and getting into college that is the most important thing I can stress for you, the more "adult decisions" will come at that time
lmao.. yes ik.. thank you.. GNight
So, you'll let the media control you?
@kiler1000 it has nothing to do with the media, i view sex as a natural thing between adults, I think I could say that you are letting oppressive religious fanatics control you
Better then having to worry about getting an std or a list of unborn pregnancies
@kiler1000 that's what condoms are for buddy
not unless the condom breaks
u can't rely on birth control crap tbh
The condom only breaks because some men do not know how to properly put on a condom, you can thank religious zealots forcing abstinence education down our throats for that one
haha yea ik.. but still some would just break even if u r using then properly. doesn't happen much but they have b4
That's why men should put on the right size (don't put on a magnum if you do not have a monster cock), inspect the condom for holes, and fit it on properly.
or, just save for marriage. i mean, really, why take such a needless risk? may as well play russian roulette.
@kiler1000 Nope!!! Sex is not just for marriage
from a worldly stand point... if they even have one.
@kiler1000 Well I live on Earth so yes call it worldly
and we've done terrific job of taking care of it, haven't we? Face it, being a "free thinker" mean becoming a target. There's gonna be a war, where all false religions will be fighting each other... and in this war... there will be no armies... just a free for all... not even family ties will be enough to survive. I don't need to post scriptures... it's happing now' but only on a small scale... based on all you've seen, heard, and read, how long do you think all this badness can be contained before it turns into a full fledged war?
No waiting isn't for everyone.. and who cares, if u wait or don't wait we are all humans and nothing is going to change that!
@kiler1000 Well I don't believe in the apocalypse, see this what religious fanatics have been doing for years, trying to predict the end of the world. Chill dude, shit has been crazy since the begginjng of man, we have always been at war with another, the world did not end during the plague, it did not end during WW2, and it probably won't end any time soon, and if it does any time soon, it would be by our very own hands, no judgement day nothing.
@kiler1000 And that is why I can't get on board with the Abrahamic religions, each and every one of you call each other "false religions" when you practically believe in the same shit, "God is a judgmental asshole, women are objects that must submit to men, sex is evil, etc" also the fact that you believe in the same God by the way. I can tolerate the more liberal Christian churches, liberal Jews, and the Catholic Church is getting better but in general western middle eastern religions are mostly barbaric.
Omg, please just stop u to.. I don't think its worth fighting over to try proving ur points. I don't think ether of u r going to win so just please stop
this can go on forever.. might as well put it to rest now
not fighting. you don't need to be religions to see this
well it sure seems like u guys r fighting.
I'm simply letting him know what's gonna take place. I'm mean, really, with everything that's happening... who can you not see that a war is coming? All you gotta do is turn on the news to see where things are headed.
@kiler1000 I disagree dude, it's been like this since the beginning, the world is not coming to an end and judgement day is probably not coming anytime soon. But the asker made a point, waiting isn't for everyone and a lot of us are having premarital sex and are living happy lives and are clean as a whistle (I get tested every 6 months). You are fine with waiting till marriage, but that is not everyone's choice and you need to respect that and mind your own damn business. You like to believe that if you have any fun in life God is some jerk that will send you to hell or destroy you, I don't believe that
And it's only gotten worse
It's called restraint.
@kiler1000 Dude, if you want to "restrain" go ahead, but stop telling other people how to live their lives.
ok but like I said.. everyone has there own thoughts about life and how they are going to live it, if that means having sex or not b4 marriage, it doesn't matter, that's how that person wants to live there life. im not taking nether of ur sides.. yes I am waiting but that's just what Im going to do. you guys can keep going at this if u want but im going to try staying out of this now
Bingo, and if you ever do end up doing it when you are an adult, that is fine too. The point is you are still a teenager and you shouldn't worry about that until you are an adult and you can make that decision when the time comes.
I think I told you before , Focus on your studies for now and go to college
I think u did. lol.. and I will ;)
agreed.. but I am waiting till marriage for sex, in ur own sense, do u think that's ok?
It's a personal thing to be honest. If you're happier waiting then do so
Go with the flow
so y can't there be a live relationship without sex.. especially since I am only 16?
Well - Well.. You are young soon the fairytale, part of relationship will, end. Cause guys need sex and no guy will like to go in a relationship without sex. In my case I will make an exception if only she, is a Virgin or cause of some medical reason, or if she has a very low sex drive, or she has some other reason which is very good to support her cause, that she does not wants to have sex with me. Yes, hypothetical that kind of relationship can exist, but it is supposed to doom, because, if an another girls offers to such a guy, who has high sex drive and he is not getting sex, so this guy won't think twice, he will just go in with this random chick for sex, cause guys need sex and if he goes in for sex he is cheating on you which means it's the end of relationship. You need to put something in your bond of relationship that is good enough for him to hold onto, and believe and have faith in you that you love him.
ok well right now I am dating someone that is planning on waiting like me... but he still likes sexting stuff and fondling and stuff to kinda crush that urge
I hope it works out for you, only if you both are Virgin
yea we both r
Than it has 99% chance that it will, work out, if you both a Virgin, then this shouldn't be a problem, fondling and kissing, is fine, maybe go as far as oral sex... NO need of much
ohh ik lol.. we hve already sort of talked about Oral
well frankly I don't know anymore.. and whats the whole deal about being compatible? if I may ask, bc I don't really know
no, I have to disagree with u there... but that's because I am waiting till I am married for sex
Can't we just have both? lol
@BrunetteNYC Well if you find it let me know.
I'm working on it, so I'll let u know ;)
but there still is kissing and making out involved.. ?
That's like only having appetizers or salads. I need a meal! Hahaha!
You shouldn't even kiss and make out it will lead to other things Asker.
@TenderFatasy Im not saying there HAS to be kissing and making out, im saying there could be.. I just through that in there to see what @Agrojag would say if there was just Kissing and making out but they people not go to far
There are other ways to be intimate not just through sex.
That's soo awesome!! Envy u for that.. I am waiting as well
That's good. I don't have much, so I'm not gonna ruin something that good by doing things wrong... if I get a second change with a girl I love
so if u get her back u r going to ruin her?
No, that's why I wanna build a life with the right way. Besides, I screwed up before I even got to kiss her. And the guy she's with is already ruining her. He cheated on her and abused her a few years back, handle twisted her dreams and believes and is converting her to Islamic beliefs. I wouldve tried to change her too-but to help her. I won't go into detail, but she has a rough past but he only took advantage.
sry for my language but asshole... that's terrable
fyi so u don't get the wrong idea for some reason.. im calling him the asshole
Yeah... but as much as I hate to admit it... I was too. She was having issues and outta fear of what could've happen and said horrible things... instead of helping her avoid the path I feared... I helped hlped push her down... that was about 6 years ago after I spent 4 years to relocate her-she moved as I was working up the courage to pursue her then
awwe.. well at least now u know what u did wrong now
Yeah. Just hope it pays off
the mistakes make u who u r.. it makes u wiser
The cost was too high. I'd sacrifice everything to go back to the 1st day I met her... not that I have much worth fighter for except that second chance.
But what you sad reminds me of a song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0VDNMtn0t2A . I remember a night we stayed up til about 3:30 for me 2:30 for just talking and listening to music, ironically, she was more into that rap nonsense.
awwwe... yea I love all dif kinds of music, and I remember a few times I stayed up all night talking
I'm good so long as it's not rap, oldies, or Oprah
Or jazz and disco... but I suppose those count is oldies
yea im more into country myself.. dance, very little rap, mettle I likr
Country and rock are my main two. Though, country will always be number 1, I grew up with it
Check this one out: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DJpGOIFc204 . The first time I saw the vid was by accident.
Yeah. He's been been an inspiration to me
really.. how so?
We both have been through hell and back. I really didn't have people to rais me in my earlier years... unless you think alcoholics and drug addicts are good examples to live by. So, I I turned to cartoons. I learned to fight and never give up til the mission is through
ahh kk yea
Good! Find a compatible partner and go for it! :-)
@TenderFantasy I did...
ok but what about waiting till marriage to have sex?
in my opinion, the idea of waiting for marriage is an idea that lets society control your sex life. It is letting society tell you "you are not ready for sex until you are married, and once you are married you are ready for sex." You should certainly wait until you are ready, but that could be tomorrow, next month, it could even be years AFTER you are married.Also, not everyone wants to get married. All it really is is documenting a relationship with the state you live in. It doesn't add anything. It carries the benefit of being allowed to visit each other in the hospital, and, under the right conditions, certain tax benefits, but it doesn't accomplish anything beyond that.Of course, this could all just be my age speaking. When I was young, abstaining from sex made a kind of sense because I didn't know what it was - there was an element of mysticism to it. But now it's like jogging: fun and healthy, and if a girl didn't want to do it in a relationship, I wouldn't understand.
ok so I want to wait till I am married, mostly bc I don't want to get nocked up before marriage, and I figured that I would mean more to him knowing I haven't had another dick shoved up my pussy except for his.. and so what u r saying is, its pointless in waiting? basically? right?
for one thing, there are many ways to avoid getting pregnant.as for being a virgin bride, that concept only tends to fully appeal to younger guys. If you are hoping to get married young, it could work out. Though, a caution: those who marry young are also more prone to divorce - the reason being that the two of you haven't fully developed into your adult selves, so you've essentially marrying a stranger. It's complicated for a lot of reasons. Younger guys who are willing to wait for sex usually have one of two reasons: 1) They aren't actually that interested in sex or 2) They are aspiring cheaters. The second one is an obvious problem, but the first is a little more subtle, because you run into possible issues of sexual compatibility. Girls can want sex but still hold out. Guy's don't really function like that - if a guy can hold out on sex, he doesn't want it. I'm speaking in general, of course. There are exceptions, but not many.
But to answer your question directly, yes, there is no point in waiting for marriage. There is, however, a very good point in waiting until you are ready, and I think it's important to understand that you can't set a date or ceremony for that.
ok so what do u think about religious reasons on waiting?
im sry im bomb barding u with questions.. im just curious
i don't mind question. It's why I'm here, actually :-)I'm not religious, myself. So for me, personally, if I were with a girl who wanted to wait for marriage because of religious reasons, the lack of sex wouldn't present nearly as big of a risk to our incompatibility as our religious differences. But even that depends on 'how religious' she is, and if she wants to put off marriage strictly for religious reasons, then I would consider that pretty religious.However, there are other possibilities as well. It could be that she doesn't want to have sex and is only using her religion as an excuse. This is the most frightening possibility, in my opinion, because it means there is no guarantee she'll want sex even after we are married. There is also the possibility that she wants sex, but is only held back by her religious conviction. If this is truly the case, it tends to result in other 'benefits' that can be just as good as sex, or even better, so I wouldn't mind waiting too much.
kk.. thanks for ur thoughts! ;)
no problem :-D
Opinion Owner, there are ways to prevent pregnancy but what if you get attatched to the woman or the woman is just THAT fertile? I heard that birth control isn't 100% and accidents can happen. Do you mean to say that it was really done on purpose because maybe the odds really of getting pregnant from a one time act of sex is 20/80? I searched that on wikipedia by the way a long time ago. I'm not one to just have sex with any old tom dick or harry but I do want sex but I am not willing to do it with just anyone and like the other lady said, I am not doing it (waiting ) just so that I don't get pregnant ( I am not on birth control any way), but what I am saying is that by not engaging before sex you ensure that the guy is serious about you and wants to commit through better or for worse, through sickness and in health, richer or for poorer, till death.. or is that too serious or big of a commitment to you? How come others have no problem with it (my parents)? My brother... and many
others I have seen.
@TenderFantasy I think there is wrong in waiting, and stuff like that.. yes the stupid birth control pill don't always work.. that is how my older brother came along, my mother was on birth control and used a condom but the condom broke and the pills did not work. I do not trust birth control and that's one reason I am waiting to! the other is that I think that my husband would love/respect me more if he knew that I didn't have another dick up my pussy except for his
@TenderFantasy The stats on birth control are a teensy bit misleading. When they say it's 99% effective (or whatever the number is), they don't mean that 1% of the time you use it it won't work - they mean for 1% of the population it doesn't work. If it works for you at all, it will always work for you.There is nothing wrong with waiting until you know a guy is serious about you. I'm just saying that marriage isn't the only way to indicate that. I would even go so far as to say that marriage indicates nothing of the sort. Getting married doesn't mean you are in love - just like going to church doesn't make you a christian.As for commitment, personally, I take commitment very seriously. If I commit to something, it's forever and it is unconditional. The women I've known in the past seem to not take commitment as seriously. The first thing they want to do is change me into someone other than myself. That's not commitment to a person, that's commitment to a project.
@askerRespect is the wrong word. If a guy says he 'respects' you for being a virgin bride, that just means he thinks he owns you. If that's what you're into, there is nothing wrong with that, but I just want to be clear.
I meant that there was nothing wrong with waiting, that was m mistake, and I mean respect me as in he would respect my decisions on waiting and would be willing to wait for me to be ready
oh. yes, there is nothing wrong with waiting. You will find that some guys won't agree to it, but that's an issue of compatibility, not an issue of value or respect.of course, it's worth pointing out that there is nothing wrong with not waiting either...
"of course, it's worth pointing out that there is nothing wrong with not waiting either..."Pregnancy (some women are really fertile), emotional attatchement, stis if they are sleeping around...
@TenderFantasy yeah, there are ways around pregnancy and stis. As for emotional attachment, not all girls are susceptible to that sort of thing.
anyway, those are "risks" not something "wrong" with it. If you walk down the street you could be hit with a meteor. That's a risk. Does that make it wrong?
Yes, there is nothing wrong with waiting and there is nothing wrong with not waiting, lets just give it a rest. we all r humans and we all have our own thoughts about life and what u should do in ur life. so lets just give it a rest. there is no right answer
religious reasons, and also than u will know that u won't have sex except with the one u actually love, won't be able to get nocked up until u actually r married and want them
afraid of getting knocked up... that's what condoms and birth control are for
but there not reliable.. that's how my older brother came along. she was on birth control and they used a condom, the condom broke and BAM a child. They didn't even know it broke at the time ether
most people who used that argument are either covering up the fact that they did not use a condom or the woman put holes on the condom, it happens
the chance of a condom not working, if properly fitted, is like the probability of dying in a plane accident
ok so u think that.. with my mother at the time being deathly afraid of her father, made the condom break during the fucking
Your mother? I thought we were talking about your older brother. in either casethe guy was probably not wearing a condom
your mom probably became born again and then raised you in fear of sex and told you a lie about the condom breaking to scare you into chastity
how else did my brother come along? my brother has never had sex yet and yes.. my mother had my father wear condom but they was cheap ones back 20 years ago
well there you go, he probably wore lamb skin and not latex
cheap condoms=never a good idea
yea.. ya think.. but also the birth control pills didn't work
well in most cases it is the man's fault and not the woman's, wearing a condom is really the only more effective way of birth control since some pills may not be as effective as others, IUD's are 100% effective but they are a little more expensive, so it is up to the man to purchase the right condom and fit it correctly
KK.. i never had sex b4 so i will believe u
yeah, I've had sex many times, with the right condom and making sure you put it on correctly , the chance of having a baby is virtually non existant. Another reason for condoms slipping is the lack of proper education thanks to abstinence only education being preached in a lot of areas. Because of this boys are not taught how to properly put on a condom.
yeah, it really does sound pathetic but some guys really do not know how to put on a condom and most times that is where people mess up with condoms, they either buy the wrong kind (lamb skin vs latex or wrong size) or frankly they just don't know how to position the condom right
yea that's all i can say is wow lol
also if someone has magnums, it is an ego thing for them and most likely will be too big. with that I say, ladies run for the hills lol