My boyfriend urges me to share my emotions, but reacts negatively when I express myself. He often makes excuses or becomes frustrated and shifts blame when I calmly bring up issues between us.
Regardless of how frustrated that behavior makes me feel. I intentionally stay level headed, and only speak on my behalf of what I feel and think. I stay respectful and mind my tone.
little example would be, me wanting to spend some quality time during the week.
we both work 9-5, and when he gets off work he immediately hops online to play and stays on until 4am. The only time I see him is during brief encounters in the kitchen when we are grabbing a snack or a drink. I am very supportive of him having a hobby, and giving him ample space to do what he enjoys. I feel I deserve a few hours a week to actually hang out and do something, even if it’s just hanging around the house. He says he feels he’s been spending enough time with me, and I ask him what he views as time and he mentions when we see each other in the kitchen… (2 mins, is his definition of quality time.)
I kindly ask “so in your mind do you think you spend more time consistently with your online friends?” And he says no. When the past 3 weeks he has been gaming every single night with friends and doing his own thing in his office, while I’m in mine.
This started because last weekend I asked if we could go out and do something, and he said “since it’s my day off, I wanted to clean up the house and take care of some stuff before getting back to work, if we have time then we can do something” and of course I agree that chores and other tasks should be taken care of so I understood. However when the day came, he slept in until 3 and just hopped online for the rest of the day. I didn’t make a fuss, I just silently accepted it but I’m human and I can’t pretend I wasn’t upset so I finally talk to him about it and he just gets mad and finds a way to make me the problem.
I’m at a loss. I feel denied a voice.
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