Is he trying to leave me?

[miadee]

We recently started dating. Last night he said: "I don't deserve you" "I'm not good at bed" "You probably had better sex in your life" "I'm not handsome enough for you"

Is he insecure or trying to end it? So confusing.

[ManOnFire]

He's being insecure but also trying to lowkey manipulate you into proving that he's worth your time, wanting to test you and see if you'll still want him inspite of his bad looks, bad sexual performance, etc.

We all have some insecurities, but a man needs to be confident and not saying all that sad, sorry, pathetic stuff in the hopes that a woman will still give him a chance.

[Sunssong]

Lol how do you know he is testing her? You don't. You have no clue, for sure, what this dude is all about.

[ManOnFire]

@Sunssong I can say with confidence that I do. No.1 I did that once when I was young. No.2 I've known other women who have been in the exact same situation as this poster, and the guys always did that stuff to try to control her, in the hopes she will prove him wrong and show her loyalty.

[Sunssong]

He is Self Sabotaging.

Is it conscious or Subconscious?
Only he knows that.

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Most people don't understand self sabotage so I'll explain it.
If you don't believe you can do Good on a test, you won't study as hard or at all.
That is self sabotage. It comes from the subconscious side of us.
That feeling that you cannot do good is what promotes behavior.
However, one could use it consciously too but usually that is not the case.
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Regardless of whether he is doing is consciously or unconsciously... HE IS NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP.
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To be ready he must remove and replace his disempowering beliefs.
Odds our he doesn't know how to do that. Very few people do.

[miadee]

Is that mean he doesn't want relationship with me? He's trying to end it then?

[Sunssong]

It means he can't handle a relationship. He may want you or he may not; only he can answer that but either way he cannot handle it. You have to have a serious talk with him.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's more insecure than trying to leave. He would have said he was trying to leave if that's what he meant.

[RespectfulGuy]

He's not trying to leave.

Rather he's testing your response to see if he still have a chance to stay with you.

He's insecure. It's up to you to see if you want to carry on the relationship. If you want to, let him know and he'll be relief. If not, break off cleanly. He'll be hurt.

[Gent207-2]

Pity parties are a red flag
You may want to re-evaluate your relationship

[FunkyMonkee]

Sounds insecure, to me!