Men and women who are childfree/ childless 30 plus! How the hell do you date?

[Lenee445]

I’m a single black female in my 30s , and it seems like every guy who shows interest in me either has kids (single fathers/baby fathers) or wants them in the future , even the childless men 40 plus. I’m not sure if it’s just because of the city and state I live in, but it makes dating frustrating. I gave up on dating because of this. Would I have a better chance of dating being childfree if I relocate to a different city and state?

By the way, childfree means you don’t want kids at all and childless means you’re open to eventually have kids.

* I have nothing against parents. I just would want a partner who’s childfree like me*

[Fireguy17]

that can be tough. After a certain age having had kids is pretty normal.
Divorced, unplanned pregnancies, all sorts of reasons why they have kids.
I never got around to having kids.
I was married young, was divorced and it was kind of my second childhood after my divorce.
I had a good job, money, my looks and I enjoyed traveling a lot.
So, by the time I wanted to settle down I was past the age where it would have been practical to have kids.

[Lenee445]

So basically I should not even try to date at all and mind my business like I’ve been doing? 🤔

[Fireguy17]

No, not at all.
I would suggest trying some/one of the better pay to join dating sites, like eHarmony, it's just lunch.
Most people on those sites are looking for a relationship, and in your profile, you can put that you are looking for someone that does not have kids and might not want to have kids.
So, when they do your matches that is more likely what would/should show up.
It can take some work and time, but they are out there, just don't look for someone at Disney Land!
Good luck!

[MementoMori777]

I have noticed that single women in their 30s and 40s are assumed to be bad relationship material because they are still single at that age, this is what I've heard of witnessed but I believe if you show that you have things to offer in a relationship, then they will be attracted to it

[Lenee445]

Definitely not “bad relationship material”. Just was hard to find someone that wants to live a childfree lifestyle like me.

[MementoMori777]

That's not what I said Lene 😆

I said people assume that you aren't because of being single at that age range, that's why I said to show what you can offer so you can attract them and they can see you in a different light, I'm sure you are hiding some good features that make you quite a catch, you gotta express them, that's all I'm sayin 😶

[Lenee445]

I get what you’re saying. I’m just saying they’re fools to believe that just because someone is single at a certain age something is wrong with them, when that’s not the case.

[MementoMori777]

Yep that is my point exactly, because they ask themselves why is that person still single if they are such a catch, not realizing that the dating world is different for everyone and the complications are endless which lead to different results and some are unfortunate.

[provokeesmokee]

I bring up that I'm childfree and sterilized in the first 30 mins of the date.

I will be extremely blunt on purpose to see if it triggers defensiveness. If yes, date over. Thank you, good bye.

If they're on my same wavelength, date on.

I don't know if it's my choice of mixers and hobbies or not, but I've found myself mostly only dating other CF people.

[Lenee445]

Maybe I should start going to mixers out of state so I will have a better chance of meeting another childfree man.

[Avicenna]

I’d suggest also considering men outside your race. Widening your dating pool might make a difference. Also consider older guys around my age.

[Lenee445]

It sucks because I’m only attracted to black men. I don’t think I could date someone around my moms age either. She’s in her 50s, so it’ll be like I’m dating my father. I’m just trying to keep the hope that’ll I meet a childfree guy that’s between 27-35. 😭

[Avicenna]

Well, they do exist, it’s just that it’s harder to find a black guy fitting that description.

[Avicenna]

by the way, a guy may say he wants to have kids, but it may not be possible for financial reasons

[MrCommodore]

Be honest at the beginning, there are many guys who are ok not having kids.

[Lenee445]

Where? 👀😭🤔

[MrCommodore]

You tried Ireland? 😉

[Lenee445]

No, I haven’t. But I’m open to it.

[MrCommodore]

Is that you in your profile picture?

[Lenee445]

Yes, it is.

[dudeinohio]

The age group you are in usually has kids. You'll have to deal with this until you get into your mid to late 40s, when kids should be out of the house.

[Lenee445]

I know it has some to be some childfree black men out there between the ages of 27-35, especially in major cities. I’m trying to keep the hope lol. Maybe it could be where I live. Because these guys with kids are approaching me and it’s annoying.

[Berethor]

I am 35 and don't have kids, I don't want to marry woman that don't want kids, it pointless.

[Sharkstealth]

I have a problem with woman wanting me to give them children but I'm to old to father a child now. It won't happen.

[Lenee445]

How old are the women you’re dating?

[Sharkstealth]

I'm not dating any. That's my problem. I need to go younger because they aren't interested in children at their age.

[Lenee445]

Yes. I was about to say you need to go younger. Maybe 25-30?

[Sharkstealth]

All I really want is sex oral or intercourse and vacation and restaurant company.

[Anonymous]

You are subconsciously attracted to men with children. How do you think they ended up with the kids😆😆😆 These men know how to tell you what you want to hear.

[Lenee445]

Definitely not attracted to men with kids. If that was the case, I would’ve had success in dating since everyone my age or older has kids.

[Opinion Owner]

Re-read "sub-consciously".

[Lenee445]

I was being sarcastic.

[Lenee445]

I know what “sub-consciously” means

[Opinion Owner]

😆😆😆

[In_Trance]

you probably have a better chance dating younger guys

[Lenee445]

How young are we talking? 🤔😂
I’m scared to date them too because they will eventually want kids. Younger guys don’t really approach me. It’s always the men my age or older older! 😭

[In_Trance]

Maybe 5 years younger

[clampfan101]

That’s what I’m trying to figure out. lol

[Lenee445]

You can date younger though lol

[KrakenAttackin]

You missed the boat by being too "picky".

[Lenee445]

Definitely didn’t. Just was hard to find someone who wanted to be childfree like me.

[Lenee445]

I want someone who wants the same lifestyle as me, always have.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women who don't want children are highly suspect by men.

[Lenee445]

Well, I guess I’m a just going to be “suspect” by men then”. 🤷🏽‍♀️😂 🤸🏾‍♂️

[Lenee445]

That doesn’t mean I should have to date someone who has kids already though and they shouldn’t be approaching me.

[KrakenAttackin]

You do you boo.

[Anonymous]

We don't, that's the neat part