Is it worth it to fix my broken relationship and if so how do I fix it?

[Anonymous]

I’m making a choice to try one time to actually fix a broken relationship. I have doubts about whether it’s worth it and if I have some justification to leave things in the broken state. But I’m just tired of that pattern of leaving when things get rough. I think our problems are fixable but i believe I am more open minded than him. I at least reconsider my choices and try to make informed decisions next time, I listen to his complains and usually I just fix whatever problem he addresses. The only thing I have yet to actually stop doing is tossing and turning in my sleep and waking him up throughout the night to cuddle or kiss even though he has to work early. That’s my biggest issue I think. My main irritant is that he said I was entitled for wanting him to reciprocate things that I do for him. It was what made me not talk to him for a week and go on a date with another guy. When we spoke again I was honest about going out with someone else and he was honest about speaking to other women. We laughed about it but I felt that there was probably a lot of trust lost on his end. I on the other hand didn’t feel like he lost my trust because it was my choice to not talk to him even when he tried to apologize for a week. I figured that the damage from me going out with another man might be irreparable. But I just want to know if it’s worth it to try to fix things. I could move on but I want him. I love things about him that I don’t get from everybody. I want him to fix a few things too however. If it is worth it to try to fix things how should I approach it?

[lightbulb27]

There's a lot in this... chock full of issues and challenges of life.

I know this. You have control over yourself. You can make effort to help the other person change, but it's their choice.

Ideally, you "love and respect" each other and that means putting the others needs and feelings front and center and make effort to make changes. That takes maturity... which you appear to have and he maybe doesn't.

So I'd find mentors so you can recognize the cheallenes of life and how noone is perfect and in fact... some people will be way worse! That way you can be thankful for whom you've got. Then go to church to work on your self and build some better values that serve your family, read books, watch videos and decide if you want to grow with this person or if they are stagnant. If he is not willing to work then I don't get the impression you could take the pain that long and time to find someone more mature.

Sleeping... getting a good nights sleep is one of top 5 issues in my book. Without that, no human will survive the relationship. That must be solved.

people used to "get married"... and that was it. you work with what you've got. since not married, you have an option.

good luck!

[midnightmoon05]

If you truly love him and want to make things work…your heart will not want to go out with another man. Same from him.
since both of you are not serious with one another about live and respect…it’s best to stop dating all together…. take some time off and figure out exactly what you want…if that time comes around…say 6months to a yr…the two of you still want to work things out…try it again. Meanwhile…let each other go…grow/learn…see where life take you.

[Vikkrram]

When you both went wid other ones then of course it's a biggest trust loss if anyone can have. So the fault is from both sides so even he has to be apologotic also. Why only you then?

[Asker]

I guess for me I didn’t exactly lose trust because he reached out and I told him during that week that I was done with him and I didn’t want to try to even be friends anymore. I let him know clearly that it was over and I didn’t expect him to wait for me to come back around because I was clear at that time that I wanted to be done with him. Then somebody asked me out and I went. I didn’t break it off with him because I had another guy I was interested in I broke up because of what he said. The people we entertained after the breakup wasn’t what came between us. But it opened the door to continue dating other people which is not what I want

[Vikkrram]

It's too complicated ma'am

[MackBoy]

You can fix but it will take some time, you have to be a little patient