Should women adapt to the way men are?

[JustMeL120]

Honestly I am fed up of looking for this perfect man I feel I better of just adapting to the way men are. From now in if a guy ghosts me I will just wait for him to message me in three months time before having sex with him. And if a guy dumps me I will just accept it and forget about him and get a rebound. It will make my life so much easier. And everytime men dumb me they return and ask for another chance which I will not give them. Because I never give them anyway.

[Anonymous]

@justmel120 You mean becoming the person that is in harmony with men/your goal. You gotta remember girl, humans aren't perfect, we are all REALLY REALLY flawed. Stop fighting the things that piss u off and hurts you and just release those things. They just exist. They just do. Bad exist. And people aren't trying to be evil. They are just conditioned to be a certain way that they think is okay or sometimes they are just hurt.

Honestly if I was girl I would just find a cute (not hot), unexperienced guy and teach him how to be the man he wants to be deep down. And you may say dont try to change a person... But that's the not the issue. With bad boys it is the issue. With good guys it's not the issue. They are willing to change because they care and want to be better versions of themselves. Bad boys don't give damn yet and are living too fast to change anyway. They are confident and sexual. Good guys often are not yet. But they can learn to be sexy and confident and even turn themselves into hot men. In all seriousness u can literally program someone without them even knowing you're doing it. That's how little most people know about mental conditioning. However it is easier if they do know because you have to integrate thinking with behavior which is often why people fail at the law of attraction. You attract base on your conditioning not what you think here and then. It has to be what you truly believe and it has to be integrated with your behavior otherwise you dont really believe it. That's how you know. A person can have high self esteem and have a low image. Why? Because they haven't integrated the thinking with their behavior. They may see themselves in a good light but when it is truly time for them to act like a confident person they don't. U have to act like the person you want to be.

[RespectfulGuy]

Hey hey hey...

You're playing with dynamites.

Come on. I know you got hurt before. Your details is so revengeful.

Yes, in short term you may feel vindicated. But long term when you look back, you'll wonder why you did so much vain pursuits for the few who broke your heart.

Sorry for being so nosey. But give me a listening ear for I too was hurt before, badly.

Let it go. Move on. Difficult and unfair it may sound, forgive (although you may never forget).

Wounds heal, including that on the heart. And like an external wound, you'll forever see the internal scar, but the pain will be no more.

Finally, give yourself time and smile. A flower is more beautiful when it's full of life, not death.

PS: no intention to counsel you. I just share what comes from a heart which was once broken. Very badly that I still see the scar like it was just yesterday.

[JustMeL120]

I feel that my heart isn't broken because I still love the person and do matter how much I try I can't stop loving him. Can you imagine loving someone for the rest of your life until you die but not being able to show it to them. And whilst you try to Move on all you meet is arse holes who ghost you and treat you like shit.

[RespectfulGuy]

Come on. Stop the symptom called "cognitive dissonance".

Read it up. It's an interesting psychological condition where a person justify a situation with every small "cushion".

And if you haven't been broken, then yes, be like a man. Approach and ask him out. Perhaps he'll say yes to you. Be brave, be bold. That's the only way to enter a relationship.

[JustMeL120]

No he won't because he is a sosiopath and he is in acult and he probably wants to kill me and he also has hacked my phone. My love for him is so strong I feel so sorry for him he must have been through so much to end up like that. But how can you help someone who wants to harm you and doesn't want your help.

[RespectfulGuy]

Hey, sure you not trolling?

I answer sincerely.

Never mix pity with love. It's a potion of disappointment.

No no no. You pity him. Even if there is love, it's a combination that you'll eventually wonder, did you date him for love or for pity.

Hence keep your distance. Protect your heart. Never indulge in "mistaken intimacy".

Finally, he's that violent? Perhaps you should ask for help. And for sure, you don't want a violent man for a date.

So leave.

[JustMeL120]

It's not pity it's love I will always love him.

[Anonymous]

No what you should donis stop dating them. Stop interacting with them for that purpose all together. No flirting, no talking, no texting, no dating, no sex, no nothing. Then you will truly be better off. I haven’t even talked to a guy like that in several years and I’m better off for it. More emotionally stable, more steady level of happiness instead of the rollercoaster that is dating and relationships and I sleep good knowing nobody’s out there cheating or plotting to ghost or leave. I don’t miss it at all. In fact I can’t even bring myself to text with a guy anymore because I have no interest in it and know what kind of man they most likely are because most are really different versions of the same shit.

[imawfulatusernames]

It doesn’t sound like adapting, girl in the nicest way possible it’s the men you’re dating. I know it’s difficult because they’re very good at pretending but honestly you just need to work on a vetting process and focus on action not words. Also just a psa if a guy only wants you for sex he will leave after sex, three months or three dates, have sex if you want to not because you think it’s the appropriate time.


I will say learning to get over a break up fast is a good idea though

[ohsheeT]

When you fall in love with somebody it's not like a snap of the fingers and everything is perfect there are going to be all kinds of things that you absolutely love about this person there are going to be some things that are just not the way that you would do it but you love this person so you adapt no matter what in any relationship we adapt that's all there is to it it's not a big deal because the man's going to do the same thing for you now you have to look at it and ask yourself depending on what you're talking about is it okay I mean is it a big swing or is it just a little one there's choices and everything we do and you're going to have to adapt throughout the whole relationship if you want it to work that's one of the best parts and the biggest parts and the worst Parts about a relationship is growing together and understanding that it's give and take constantly because you have to keep going forward you have to keep growing once you stop it's over

[nitsuj86]

Every time a woman gets dumped, she forgets about the 3 other guys she did the same thing to. In my experience, women like men that can take or leave them.

There is something exciting about this guy that could care less if you are there or not, that uses you for his own animalistic desires and nothing else. It's like crack to women. They hate themselves after, but keeping picking these men, and overlooking all of the good men who would take them seriously.

You could find a man that would not dump you, but you don't, and keep complaining about the ones you choose. It's not men, it's you. Make a change. Women do the same shit, get over it.

[Adam1978]

One problem you aren't a man so our life choices won't fit you or satisfy you. Women should only adapt one philosophy from men, nothing comes for free, you have to work for everything, you don't earn or deserve shit otherwise. Do that and you can accomplish things in a way you want. You must release that women also must work and accomplish things to get the men she wants and that is to not fuck around and to restrict herself so she doesn't get played by the players. She knows the rules men has never hidden them. She can disobey and lose the girlfriend/wife values and just be the low value girl who they fuck but never keep.

[Sasha0426]

But, men can fuck around with whoever they want and should be accepted as boyfriend/husband material?

[Adam1978]

That because women as a group doesn't make that unacceptable. Men as a group does. Stop giving your pussy to those men and they are forced to behave to get some. Until that day there will be men that fucks around because they can and are allowed to.

[Sasha0426]

Wait, so you’re putting the blame on women and making the men innocent? How the fuck is that fair?

[Sasha0426]

I would never accept a man who’s slept around. For all I know he would cheat on me and give diseases from other women.

[Adam1978]

Yes if a man slut had as low value in a woman eye as a woman slut has in a mans. There would be far less guys sleeping around. But no you all want to sleep with the same men. You don't even care how many others that has been before you. So yes it's primarily your fault. Why would a man say no to pussy if there is no penalty for fucking around. I am not talking cheating here. Just having sex without attachment.

[Sasha0426]

I feel like you’re projecting here.

[provokeesmokee]

I don't know if that's "adapting", sis.

That's literally just being healthy and normal. Don't give manchildren who can't communicate or who want to play fuckboi while you're trying to date any time or effort.

You're not being mean or bad. You're just valuing your time and worth. 🤷🏾

[JamesMI616]

Don't settle. Don't just accept being treated any kind of way. There may not be a perfect man out there but there is someone who is perfect for you. Someone who will want to be better all the time because of you and for you. Don't settle. You know what you want and you deserve it.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Make friends in a mixed group. Hang out together. Go skydiving together. Then date the guy who likes you in that group that other women can vouch for like, "Yes, he's a great guy." And marry him.

[JustMeL120]

Lol thank you that means a lot😚. I think maybe I will go skiing instead of skiidinving because I don't like heights.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Skiing works as well! I don't want to be guilty of naturalistic fallacies but some things are better off usually if we do in a more natural way. We as a species are evolved for millions of years to hang out in tight groups, both men and women, and find love interests among them. We are not evolved to see the faces of complete strangers every single day that we'll never see again, let alone date them.

So if you want to find peace in your love life, I recommend the natural way. Find a community of like-minded people of any sort (religion, interests, anything), hang out together, and find your love interests there. Don't do things like online dating or dating at bars or blind dates so much. Date inside the community you find or build.

[JustMeL120]

Maybe I will at some point it's just maybe I don't really want to date ATM. It's nice to give those advice but maybe I am not over this one guy I loved. I am getting there slowly everyday I am getting closer to accepting we will never be together l. But it's hard to date when you still like someone else. I think this guy will message me I think he is just busy. Even if it's just to be friends he seems nice enough to message me. I am just trying to make sence of my life at the moment. I feel I don't know what dating really means. I don't really want to know. i just want to be alone most of the time and if one guy comes up then good but I don't think I want to go looking for him. tbh I love being alone.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I got a broken-hearted phase one time. I kept comparing every single woman to my ex, even on the street. She looks a bit like her! Then I talk to her and she is not like her. Her name is same as my ex and she even shares some mannerisms! Then I kiss her and realize she is not like my ex. I didn't like being alone at all in that phase though but I felt so alone without her.

[Ptrmbrs88]

Stop looking for a perfect man then! They don't exist, and do you know why? Because no one is "perfect", that's just a delusional fantasy that many women seem to have these days for some reason. Be willing to settle for less than perfect, and you'll make much more progress in this area of your life. The alternative is to become a lonely old cat-lady.

[Billlewis]

Absolutely not -- women should never have to adapt, adjust, change course or lift a finger to synch up with men. It is us who must tailor our approach and philosophy to suit women, in every aspect of our lives and our relationships.

[Anonymous]

if you want to adapt the way of men, you have to stop being overly emotional, stop sleeping with random people (because most men don’t have random sex often), you have to be comfortable with yourself and be happy working on things you enjoy without the opposite sex giving you attention.

[Actor3]

You had the petfect man but your looking for Prince Charming. I know to many people who have the perfect partner but affraid to admitt it. You may argue with him and hste his views, but as long he does not hit you or make you cry. He only gets you sex angry.
What is sex angry? Women so fear making it known she likes you, so get you upset so you will make the first sex move. Usually first kiss that leads to good sex.
So who are you sex angry with?

[la2243]

I'm not waiting around on any man dealing with low tier behavior and better off single as I have been. I don't reward bad behavior and this is why some women get treated like trash because you accept any and everything just to say you have one. I'll keep my standards up, but he has to go.

[SigmaNiggeh]

Standards aren't a one way streak honey! My standards for myself are

• be normal/neurotypical.
• Make at least 8 figures.
• Achieve an ffmi of 27 without gear or getting fat.

Once I achieve all 3 of these goals than am I good enough to be with a women. However most women aren't worth simping for & will just disappoint me.

[slatyb]

You won't find the perfect man. Some compromise will always be necessary. Just pay attention to how you feel with someone. If it's not comfortable, they aren't right for you.

[LazerBean]

It sounds like you already have adapted to modern men, that's why you and the men you pick are so trashy.

[JustMeL120]

A escuse me why are you calling me trashy. I am not trashy I use this site for ranting about my life but actually I have not slept with many men. And I had my heart broken by someone I loved which as left me scared and we all have our ways to deal with our emotional pains.

[JustMeL120]

Also before judging complete strangers online ask yourself how much do you really know about them?

[LazerBean]

Trash attracts and accept other trash, both of which you have already admitted to doing. There's nothing more that needs to be known about you. How about you take responsibility for being a failure rather than being it on other people?

[imawfulatusernames]

Girly pop trashy men usually target women they believe are vulnerable. How about you work on your internalised misogyny and stop calling women failures for being manipulated and used

[LazerBean]

So you're admitting y'all are also stupid and gullible too? Well I don't disagree. And y'all are going to stay as failures as long as you don't take responsibility for your stupid choices.

[JustMeL120]

Yea actually to prove you how much I don't accept trash I will block you.

[JustMeL120]

You don't even seem real. I wouldn't be surprised if you are that guy who been stalking me behind a fake account.

[imawfulatusernames]

Girly pop you suck

[e232bm]

You just need to do what makes you happy. If adapting brings you happiness then do it but if you are compromising your values or if the compromise makes you unhappy do not do it.

[FunkyMonkee]

You mean, they haven't done that already? What the hell else do they need? They drive, they smoke, they vote, they dress in our clothes, they drink, they do the same jobs we do! What's left?

[Crankor]

Unfortunately, it's really how people are from all the media. Unrealistic views and expectations. Relationships these days seem to just be flings. People don't want to put effort into things. It also has to happen by both people and not just one.

[Massageman]

Good for you.

Maybe volunteer at a Food Pantry, Habitat for Humanity, or an Animal Shelter and find guys who are willing to give of themselves, ie, a higher quality of guy.

[misogynistic_pig]

She is a year away from the look so she is forced to do it.

[SolitarySolace]

If you wanna be like men stay single and start playing video games all day every day.