Why would a man ask me if I am open to trying to have a kid with him within the first 2 dates. Does he just want sex without sounding like a user?

[Anonymous]

[provokeesmokee]

No, he's trying to determine if you're childfree. But he's asking it really fucking weird if it's "will you have my babies".

If you want kids, let him know you're open to having kids. Don't tell him with him, just say you're open to having kids.

If you don't want kids, or aren't sure, say so and be firm.

Personally I bring up childfree status or not in the first date. I don't waste time with people who want kids - it's unfair for both of us and I'm not interested in trying to convinced anyone. That's not my way. I respect if people want kids, I just know it isn't for me.

[Inbox]

@provokeesmokee Apparently you may not have seen Inuyasha😭

[Asker]

@Inbox omg what is inuyasha about?

[Inbox]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU3QcgESKRo

[Asker]

@Inbox this is sooo funny!!!

[Inbox]

It's a good show!

[provokeesmokee]

@Inbox lol, was it an Inuyasha ref? 😂

It's been decades since I've seen snippets of that show, lol.

[Inbox]

@provokeesmokee Yes, but I do have a serious question to ask you little lady - will you consider bearing my children?

[provokeesmokee]

@Inbox I think you somehow made me even more gay and childfree than I already am.

Like, I'm already barren and sterile, but I think somehow even my ovaries popped themselves out of existence with that.

Because you're a man, let me spell this out: no, thank you.

[Inbox]

It was a joke SMH

[Inbox]

*Why would I want to have kids with a complete stranger and a nobody like you? LOL

[silvermoon84]

It’s possible that he’s just interested in knowing you more and is just trying to figure out if you’re suited for each other. That being said, he should have went about it differently. I think the chances that of this are kind of low however. I’m 39 and still dating, so I meet men on an app and get asked that question a lot (2 years ago a 41 year old guy asked 37 year old me if I wanted to have kids in the next year like he did (which I’m too old for and can’t have kids medical reasons). Red flag right there and I feel like it’s the same thing with this guy. As Badapple said, he could be one of those losers who just get aroused by the thought of impregnating girls.

[stepyo99]

That's a question that should come up if you guys are thinking of pursuing a long-term relationship, but 2nd date seems pretty early to bring it up.

I think you're just going to have to use your judgement. I would definitely tell him you're saving sex for marriage if you haven't all ready. His reaction to that will be more informative.

[Avicenna]

He might really want to have kids. I asked a 38 year old woman that a few months ago.

[Avicenna]

What I asked was if she was open to having kids (I didn’t say “with me”, but it was implied).

[BadApple69]

That's a good reason for NOT having a date #3. My niece met this guy, she was in love. While dating he got her pregnant. She married the low life... Only to find out that he impregnated another girl while my niece and him were dating AND after they got married he impregnated another girl. This guy was just into having as many children as possible as quickly as possible. So there are guys out there who just want that thrill of impregnating women. Maybe this guy is one of those types.

[anon1903]

One user interestingly said that it might be a test to see if you're worth it.

That's one way to look at it.

A better approach would have been buying a house together... Or even joint account. A person who wants long term relationship will probably be less opposed to those things?

A child? A man can check out from parenting anytime he wants to.

[DermalPunch]

Some insecure abusive guys want to know how far they can go. A normal person who wants a healthy relationship wouldn't skip steps like this.

[JustinTheGreat]

How exactly did he word it?

I think it’s definitely weird to ask specifically “would you want to have a kid with me” so soon. But if he was just asking if you want kids in general, I don’t think it’s weird

[Asker]

we talked about what we want and he said he wants kids and I agreed... but because of my history he said he couldnt take me serious/LTR unless I got pregnant. So he asked if I would think about trying to get preggo, and I said yes...

[anon1903]

That's definitely weird

[Asker]

@anon1903 he just texted me when can we see each other and make a baby

[Adam1978]

Clearly a unwise approach even if the guy is old and can handle supporting you and a family. You are just a breeding factory in his mind if he asks that so early.

[Asker]

thank you! by any chance do you live in the United States?

[Adam1978]

No and that I am very happy about.

[Asker]

I wonder if perspectives are different per country. But why would he ask me that if he wasn't interested in my looks or personality. I would think he would be somewhat interested in me if he asked if I would be open to trying to have kids? He said he wouldn't take me seriously unless I get pregnant.

[Adam1978]

I am not question his interest, I am questioning his motives and suitability to be a father. If you don't screen the future mother for more than two dates. You will pick poorly. Or you just want kids no matter what. That's how vad families are created. You should disqualify him for that reason alone.

[Lionman95]

I think it´s a test. He wants to know if you could imagine starting a family with him. To be fair it´s quiet early in the datings stage such questions but maybe that´s his personality and he doesn´t want to date long without making a move.

[Ms_Facesitter]

The way he said it is odd. Maybe he wants to know early in if you plan on having kids or not, which is a smart thing to do. But if he is planning on making babies after 2 dates it's very weird and you should probably call it quits.

[ohsheeT]

Well of course he wants to see what you're going to say and if you say yes he's going to say if he he's going to come in you and he's going to say goodbye it's ridiculous

[slatyb]

That's a bit odd. Asking whether you want children at some point? Normal. With him after two dates? Cringey.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I'm with the girls on this one. Whether he's a player or not, that's a very weird question to ask on the second date lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

It sounds like he desperately wants kids for some reason. That'd be my guess. Maybe his internal clock is ticking

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Players will do anything in their power to NOT get you pregnant. Not make you believe they what kids so you don't take measures to prevent it. So I don't think that's it

[DextroShade]

He judging your suitability for a long-term relationship and potentially marriage. Your paranoid reaction about it just being for sex shows that you are suitable for neither.

[Asker]

I would have kids with him. I am at that point where I want to settle and have kids, I just dont want to get taken advantage of...

[DextroShade]

You sound incredibly insecure.

[EmmaMary]

Just another pathetic lowlife player.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[spartan55]

Who cares why? Clearly this is a guy to AVOID.

[soniaaaaaaa]

No he really wants kids

[Jazzy54]

What in the HELL? Get away from this joker.

[MementoMori777]

thats definitely not green flags thats for sure

[Nikki1989]

That is so creepy.

[Wise4myage]

He just wants to plant his seed.

[boggboss]

Yeah