Hey! I can really understand what you mean, it's been happening to me for a very long time and I've given myself some explanation. Has this happened to you with him or with other guys as well? Maybe you're not attracted to him in the right way, and he doesn't need to be "perfect for you" for that. It's something that happens for no apparent reason. At best you may not need a person NOW, and it's not wrong, maybe you already feel happy with your life and that's okay. A relationship must be a "plus", not a "minus". At worst, sis, someone let you down so much that now you can't trust people. You feel blocked and can't open up to others, even if you want to. If so I'm sorry and I feel you, I wish you well and that you can find the right person <3
Some people just aren't interested in dating. It's not something we as humans have to do. It's a subjective choice in life. If you like spending time with someone as a friend you should never feel obligated to be more than that.
Or you might just not be interested in this guy and some day you could find someone who you actually like.
Feelings can also change with time. But it's best to live in the moment and not force anything.
That's literally happened to me in the past and it turned out it was my body trying to warn me to stay away because that guy turned out to be covert narcissist. I became a friend and let's just say, I've seen enough. Do not ignore red flags or that "weird" feeling you may get in the pit of your stomach
It can be puzzling. Reminds me of way back when I used the dating apps. You'd meet someone where everything matched. Similar line of work, some hobbies and sports, same age range, living in the same part of town. And then you never hear from them. LOL...
There is definitely a lack of physical attraction or emotional connection. Trust your instinct. Do not waste your time dating this guy. You can trick yourself into going through the motions with him, and let him spend time trying to win you over, but that feeling (or lack thereof) will not go away. And honestly it's not fair to him either.
Look if i am not interested in a person beleive me i won't even look at them don't ever give a vibe that i like them.
At first it would seem haarsh but at the end of the day i won't be giving any false hope to them. I am scared of getting cursed and i won't play wid anyone heart.
I would say it depends on your situation. If you have no trouble getting others or if you are fine with the types of guy you usually date then just go with gut.
If however you want to see a change in any of the previous mentioned areas then you should give a chance to see if the feeling will arise. Sadly, some men aren't confident in the beginning but are later. It might put some off that would be interested if they where more assertive.
based on the scenario you provided, it seems like you may not be feeling a connection or chemistry with this person. It's important to trust your instincts and feelings when it comes to dating. If you don't feel excited or motivated to go on a date with someone, it may not be worth pursuing. However, if you feel unsure, it may be worth giving the person a chance to show themselves. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what you feel comfortable with.
You don't need a reason. If you aren't attracted, then you just aren't. And you don't need to give him a reason. Just say "Sorry, I don't think it would work" or something equally vague.
Is there someone you could talk to about this? I think that if you really get into it you'll figure out what is that is putting you off.
There are lots of things about compatibility that can't be rationalized. I think its normal - there are women I find attractive (not just physically) for no good reason, and women who just don't seem appealing even though they should.
Don't try to rationalize it - do what makes you happy, not what you think should make you happy
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Anonymous
(30-35)
10 mo
The environment of a date is extremely boring and exhausting for me. Folks like to label me for this that I’m asexual or antisocial, but they’re just people that label everything 😂 Aside from those folks, a date is very draining. Dressing up and going somewhere formal with other strangers doing the same thing and using my fake voice to converse with the waitress is just over all not a good time. Put me in a plaid sweater with rubber boots on the beach and having a fire cookin hot dogs is far more natural and entertaining. If you’re not into dating this guy then move along and mind yourself and keep doing the you journey 🙏😃
You can be very busy with life that you don't feel emotionally available to date. Whether it's hobbies, events, or what not. But the big one if you decide not to pursue, the interest just isn't over the edge.
I have the same struggle and my conclusion is as follows:
You met someone. You don't know who he is, you just met him, you have not established a strong connection with him yet so there is no motivation to go towards a relationship, because you don't know who he is yet, what his actual value is as a partner.
If I like someone I don't drop subtle hints. They'll KNOW. But because I have no real connection with them, I don't do anything flirty.
Binned my ex wife back in 2015 , became , by my own decision a single dad , I have zero interest in " dating " , introverted , not a fan of people , zero BS tolerance... and thankfully , my Male Curse has grreatly faded from what is was when I was younger. Far prefer my own company & the company of my kitties /ferrets. My daughter still lives with me , I fortunately have a great relationship with her.
Just don't care. A lot of women are shallow. Yes I know not all of them are and men can be too. But I just don't want to take a risk, get emotionally invested just for her to play games or be disingenuous with me. I'd rather her just say she doesn't like me to my face.
I really think u should give it a chance, sometimes the connection is build up with some time, try it and if after some time u keep feeling this way u tell him the truth and thats all. If u only go for people with who u have that conection it will be really hard to find a good partner.
One reason might be that you have an agenda and you know where you want your life to go and you’re not going to risk it on a shallow relationship, found through typical dating.
Sure, sometimes we get a gut feeling that a relationship won't work out long-term or we're just not feeling it due to where we are in life. It's normal even if the person is ideal for you on paper, but those situations are always annoying
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Hey! I can really understand what you mean, it's been happening to me for a very long time and I've given myself some explanation.
Has this happened to you with him or with other guys as well? Maybe you're not attracted to him in the right way, and he doesn't need to be "perfect for you" for that. It's something that happens for no apparent reason.
At best you may not need a person NOW, and it's not wrong, maybe you already feel happy with your life and that's okay. A relationship must be a "plus", not a "minus".
At worst, sis, someone let you down so much that now you can't trust people. You feel blocked and can't open up to others, even if you want to.
If so I'm sorry and I feel you, I wish you well and that you can find the right person <3
Some people just aren't interested in dating. It's not something we as humans have to do. It's a subjective choice in life. If you like spending time with someone as a friend you should never feel obligated to be more than that.
Or you might just not be interested in this guy and some day you could find someone who you actually like.
Feelings can also change with time. But it's best to live in the moment and not force anything.
That's literally happened to me in the past and it turned out it was my body trying to warn me to stay away because that guy turned out to be covert narcissist. I became a friend and let's just say, I've seen enough. Do not ignore red flags or that "weird" feeling you may get in the pit of your stomach
It can be puzzling. Reminds me of way back when I used the dating apps. You'd meet someone where everything matched. Similar line of work, some hobbies and sports, same age range, living in the same part of town. And then you never hear from them. LOL...
There is definitely a lack of physical attraction or emotional connection.
Trust your instinct. Do not waste your time dating this guy. You can trick yourself into going through the motions with him, and let him spend time trying to win you over, but that feeling (or lack thereof) will not go away.
And honestly it's not fair to him either.
Look if i am not interested in a person beleive me i won't even look at them don't ever give a vibe that i like them.
At first it would seem haarsh but at the end of the day i won't be giving any false hope to them. I am scared of getting cursed and i won't play wid anyone heart.
I would say it depends on your situation.
If you have no trouble getting others or if you are fine with the types of guy you usually date then just go with gut.
If however you want to see a change in any of the previous mentioned areas then you should give a chance to see if the feeling will arise.
Sadly, some men aren't confident in the beginning but are later. It might put some off that would be interested if they where more assertive.
based on the scenario you provided, it seems like you may not be feeling a connection or chemistry with this person. It's important to trust your instincts and feelings when it comes to dating. If you don't feel excited or motivated to go on a date with someone, it may not be worth pursuing. However, if you feel unsure, it may be worth giving the person a chance to show themselves. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what you feel comfortable with.
You don't need a reason. If you aren't attracted, then you just aren't. And you don't need to give him a reason. Just say "Sorry, I don't think it would work" or something equally vague.
Is there someone you could talk to about this? I think that if you really get into it you'll figure out what is that is putting you off.
There are lots of things about compatibility that can't be rationalized. I think its normal - there are women I find attractive (not just physically) for no good reason, and women who just don't seem appealing even though they should.
Don't try to rationalize it - do what makes you happy, not what you think should make you happy
The environment of a date is extremely boring and exhausting for me. Folks like to label me for this that I’m asexual or antisocial, but they’re just people that label everything 😂
Aside from those folks, a date is very draining. Dressing up and going somewhere formal with other strangers doing the same thing and using my fake voice to converse with the waitress is just over all not a good time.
Put me in a plaid sweater with rubber boots on the beach and having a fire cookin hot dogs is far more natural and entertaining.
If you’re not into dating this guy then move along and mind yourself and keep doing the you journey 🙏😃
You can be very busy with life that you don't feel emotionally available to date. Whether it's hobbies, events, or what not. But the big one if you decide not to pursue, the interest just isn't over the edge.
I have the same struggle and my conclusion is as follows:
You met someone. You don't know who he is, you just met him, you have not established a strong connection with him yet so there is no motivation to go towards a relationship, because you don't know who he is yet, what his actual value is as a partner.
If I like someone I don't drop subtle hints. They'll KNOW. But because I have no real connection with them, I don't do anything flirty.
Binned my ex wife back in 2015 , became , by my own decision a single dad , I have zero interest in " dating " , introverted , not a fan of people , zero BS tolerance... and thankfully , my Male Curse has grreatly faded from what is was when I was younger. Far prefer my own company & the company of my kitties /ferrets. My daughter still lives with me , I fortunately have a great relationship with her.
Just don't care. A lot of women are shallow. Yes I know not all of them are and men can be too. But I just don't want to take a risk, get emotionally invested just for her to play games or be disingenuous with me. I'd rather her just say she doesn't like me to my face.
I really think u should give it a chance, sometimes the connection is build up with some time, try it and if after some time u keep feeling this way u tell him the truth and thats all. If u only go for people with who u have that conection it will be really hard to find a good partner.
One reason might be that you have an agenda and you know where you want your life to go and you’re not going to risk it on a shallow relationship, found through typical dating.
Being simly sick and tired of women and their games and stupid requirements will do it.
Would love to hear about the games you mean
And the stupid requirements as well.
Seriously? Here?
You can message me.
I shall
Your gut instinct and the fact he hasn't taken the hint and just be content to be friends
Sure, sometimes we get a gut feeling that a relationship won't work out long-term or we're just not feeling it due to where we are in life. It's normal even if the person is ideal for you on paper, but those situations are always annoying