I want to tell this girl how I feel, at the risk of looking real stupid?

[Anonymous]

There is this girl I like at work, whom at one point was always mentioning she is single. I would always assume she wasn't talking to me. There were times she would say it looking in my direction, yet there was another guy always close by (so I assumed it was him). The reason being we are very different in terms of looks. I am on the chubby side and I am black, where she is fit and yes white. More recently now she is talking about what this one particular guy going out of town and getting her things. Yet I am sitting here bottling my feelings, because I feel like I would be stupid for saying something and getting rejected. Then everyone will know that I tried and failed. Not to mention I don't know, how she will act after knowing that I like her. This is since we do work together. I just am getting tired of holding this in, but I just feel like she isn't going to 1.) take me seriously, 2.) probably laugh and so forth. I have no idea of what to do.

Updates

9 mo

P. S The other guy is white and skinnier than myself. Not to mention he is more talkative, where is I am a lot quieter (because I never know what to say).

[ZackBan]

There are no real barriers to get a girl regardless of who you are but the value proposition needs to be on point.

Since you work with her I assume she doesn't devote much attention to you.

The reason is because you're not presenting yourself as a "candidate" by being a man women would wanna be with.

You mentioned chubby and that she's fit.
That could work agaisnt you if she's into fitness she won't want a bad diet influence in her life. Might not be easy but use the motivation to get in better shape even if a little.

As for shy and awkward it's nobody's type.
Having been like you once I can say with certainty: no one finds the shy and asked guy indearing.
You need to build up confidence by putting yourself out there more in various situations.

Anytime you get the chance to speak to a stranger (i. e. a store clerk or a mall cop or someone you ask for directions) do it.
It will slowly make speaking to people easier for you and that will change your presentation which might make her take notice of you.


And lastly, all is well but one day you'll have to walk up to her, give her a compliment, some friendly teasing, up to flirting, and then ask her out.

You got this.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Attraction does not work the same for women so declaring your feelings is usually worthless. It is much better to build attraction, tease, flirt. Show, do not tell and let her feel so attracted that she is the one that wants more. Seduction is key. Telling her how you feel amounts to informing her of the contents of her favorite book before the end, or the plot to a movie before she's seen it.

You mentioned that you were om the chubby side and since you mentioned it, I assume you aren't happy with it. If you aren't happy with yourself, that will impact your confidence and that's another reason why a guy feels like 'letting it out'. They know that the other way that works (building attraction) will require they feel comfortable in their own skin first.

[ZackBan]

Amazing take. I couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

Well let me put your mind at ease man. You most likely are going to try and fail. First off, she does NOT give a s*** what your feelings are. If you're asking her just to tell her how you feel you're doing it for the wrong reason. Life is not a rom-com and she's not going to tell you she's always felt the same way. So get that out of your head right now.

Secondly who gives a s*** what other people think of you asking her out. You definitely shouldn't!

Ask her because you want to go out with her and for no other reason! Never hang your head if rejected either. She's lucky to get an offer from you. If you don't believe that then she isn't going to either. Women don't date guys out of pity.

Always remember she is one of 3.5 billion of her kind on this planet. In that respect she is not special.

[ButthurtGAGpeople1]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

[Christoff92]

Just go up to her. Be a gentleman to.