When should I tell a date I'm super allergic to cats?

Question

He's not my boyfriend yet. We've been going on several dates and shared common interests. He has invited me to his house this Saturday but there is one little problem.

I'm highly allergic to cats. He owes 3 cats. Cats causes me to develop hives that take 2-3 weeks (and I can't even sleep because I start itching all night long) to go away, eye irritation, nasal congestation, sneezing, coughing and facial acne.

If you're a cat owner, when would you like to know about this? I love cats but unfortunately can't even have a single cat hair on me nor its fur, must be away from them.

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

You should have told him literally the minute you found out he had cats.

I hate to say this but I agree with @BoopBoopBeep where does this go? Even if the two of you are thinking of marriage either you die from the cats (just kidding, trying to keep this light hearted) or he gets rid of the cats and has every carpet replaced and steam cleans anything else that's fabric and has all the HVAC cleaned.

But, to your question, the answer is: immediately.

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

So there is zero future with you, why are you continuing this? Are you at least taking the allergy shots? Those take 5 years to finish.

What do you expect will happen, you'll get serious and he'll get rid of his cats? This conversation should have already happened.

sunflower00 · Accepted Answer

You should say from the beginning but can you not take antihistamines?

I’m allergic to cats but I love them and my boyfriend does too, he had a cat when we started dating and wants one in the future. Cats make my eyes insanely itchy and close up, make me sneeze uncontrollably, itchy throat and make my lips swell up & give me a rash but when I’m taking antihistamines (I do all summer for hayfever) I’m usually fine?

electromagnetic · Accepted Answer

As with what most people have said already, you should have told him the moment he told you he has cats.
girl, you’re allergic! Why do you expect is gonna happen? He’s gonna toss out his THREE cats to be with you? Let’s be realistic here.

Billlewis · Answer

You can actually build up your resistance to many kinds of allergies, including pet allergies. I used to date a woman who had two cats, and when I first started spending the night with her, I was sneezing repeatedly, but after a month or two, they didn't cause me any problems anymore.

boggboss · Answer

I dont see how u would let it get this far and not tell him as u clearly won't be able to go his and even then the cloths he has could contain cat hair at which point why have u dated him for so long if essently somthing long term would require him to get rid of his cats

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If I had a future girl who was going to be my SO I want her to tell me her allergies and if she has allergies to cats I would rehome them and hope this will convince her that I hope this shows her I did it because I had an eye for her.

AaronKrieger · Answer

I'm allergic to cats mildly and my mother's side is pretty allergic to them. Despite that, we own cats due to my step-dad.

There is nothing ashamed with being allergic to something. You should definitely tell him.

Deformate · Answer

I'd say immediately, if not before. Weird question but are you sure its cats and not something related to cats? I only ask because if he has 3 cats, he could very easily be bringing cats hairs on dates and you aren't breaking out yet.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I'll be honest-and get hated for it obviously -but I love cats, and I trust animals. I have them. He'll obviously notice, when you start sneezing and/or rubbing your eyes constantly, but I'm not giving up my animals for ANYTHING. I've left apartments before because I was told not to have them, or else. See ya👉

Flower7 · Answer

The time to tell him is now, since you won’t be able to go to his house for the date. Let him know that the two of you will have to meet up at a different location and tell him why.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Right at the beginning, what if he loves cats and it’s important to know his future partner will be friendly to them too?

Alli39 · Answer

Def tell him. You two need to be able to plan around that to keep you safe and healthy while dating.

hello123456789 · Answer

You should have already told him!! What are you waiting for? He needs to know.

Pyrofox · Answer

That'd be a deal breaker for me. XD. To not know in advance.

exitseven · Answer

I would like to know.

slatyb · Answer

You should tell him now. When I was dating online I put it in my profile.

Twalli · Answer

I would want to know early on. I have a dog and she has to like my dog or we don't date. As for my dog liking her, if she just pets her then my dog will love her.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He hasn't asked you out so you're not his girlfriend. Sounds like he just wants company. I'd just tell him nothing to lose with someone who isn't into you in the way you think

Fireguy17 · Answer

As soon as possible.  Allergies suck, so why feel miserable.

genericname85 · Answer

i'm super allergic to cats. i still have cats. wanna know how to deal with the allergy?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Before the first date.  That would be a dealbreaker for me.

peedy · Answer

That depends on whether or not he has a cat if he does id say tell him as soon as possible if he doesn't thst you can wait a little while

Anonymous · Answer

as soon as you found out he had cats, you should have told him...

When should I tell a date I'm super allergic to cats?

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