Would he take me back after I blocked him on everything?

[Hijjgtun]

I met a guy that I went on 4 dates with and felt crazy chemistry for. The kind of chemistry I haven't felt in years, and didn't think I would ever again.

I have fearful avoidant attachment style- when I feel stressed and anxious, I run. On our 4th date, he was pressuring me to tell him I love him and stay the night and all these things I didn't want to do, so I ended it (but still followed him on instagram).

Three weeks later, he reaches out. I tell him I missed him like crazy, but I am still not happy with what happened. He didn't really take ownership of it or want to process it. We made plans to get coffee and just see how things go, but he cancelled day of. I told him that I needed to go no-contact because I had been struggling to get over him and just wanted to move on. I then blocked him on everything.

It's been a month now. Even though he had 2000+ red flags, I can't stop thinking about him. I have even gone out on dates with 4 different men, and all of them are boring compared to him. I miss him so much, but I don't know if he would ever forgive me, or if he even has feelings for me anymore like I do for him.

Do I have a chance of having him in my life again?

[HollyK21]

So this may not be the answer you seek, but I genuinely think that rather than focusing on men, you should take some time to focus on yourself and heal. Whether you realize it or not, that dating style is a direct result of past trauma. Whether it’s daddy issues, bad experiences with men, lots of let downs or disappointments, it is all now baggage. You’ve created a pattern where you are not running from men, but your utter fear of being hurt again in some way.


Until you tackle that monster, in a general sense this will always be the result. You’ll keep serial dating, running, wash rinse repeat. So if you haven’t considered therapy, then I think you should. Otherwise you’ll never be able to receive love properly.


As for this guy, I think you need to keep things in perspective. It wasn’t just some spur of the moment decision to cut ties, you did so twice and I think that was for the better. He was too pushy in the beginning (like I love you on the 4th date? That’s a bit much), blew off your date on another occasion, and you said yourself there were 1000 red flags. So don’t ignore your gut feelings just because you’re bored or want that connection you initially had. Don’t double back, let him go. Focus on yourself and healing.

[DarkWinterNights]

That would be a mistake. You may be gravitating toward him, but the only result would be a very toxic and drama filled relationship.