Why would a guy block me if I apologize to him for hurting his feelings? Why wouldn't he accept my apology instead? It's feeling like a lesson to me?

[Anonymous]

After this situation, I don't feel like apologizing to anyone that I hurt anymore. I'm becoming an emotionless person because I hurted his feelings while he was in love with me but I apologized for my attitude instead and got blocked by him. Do you think that I deserve this for being unnecessarily kind to him? I don't feel like staying kind anymore to anyone else

[WindAtMyBack]

You apologize to someone because you feel bad about what you did or said.

An apology does not cancel out what you did. At most, it lessens it, but does not cancel it out. You did something wrong, and an apology will not change that.

"being unnecessarily kind to him"

How is hurting someone unnecessarily kind? An apology is not being kind. You still hurt him and no amount of apologizing will change that. Whatever you did had enough effect on him that it changed the relationship. It can't be undone - not by apologizing or any other way.

Time might heal, but it doesn't make whatever you did go away. Maybe he saw something in you that made him rethink his relationship with you. Maybe he saw your true feelings. Maybe he saw a part of you that he didn't like. Whatever he is thinking and feeling is not offset by an apology. That's especially true if you have done the same or similar things before.

It sounds like you are deeply hurt by this. But remember that so is he. Try not to get cold and emotionless because he did not react the way you wanted. You are acting like he is the one who hurt you. But you are the one who hurt him.

[Asker]

If he comes back I don't need to accept him right!

[WindAtMyBack]

Of course not. But why would you not accept him back? Isn't that what you are upset about, that he didn't come back?

[Asker]

No, I'm not upset that he haven't accepted my apology. I was upset that he blocked me. Even though if he haven't accepted my apology I wouldn't have been this upset but only since block seemed like an insult

[AviatorTom]

You can apologize but it's up to him to accept it or not. You can't make him accept it, and he has the right to accept it or not.

In this situation, whatever you did really hurt him, and he's not ready to ignore that. Maybe later. Maybe never. Welcome to life.

[Asker]

I hurt him 2 years ago and apologized it to him recently and got blocked by him immediately

[AviatorTom]

I'm pretty sure most people would not accept a 2-year-old apology. I don't think I would. I'd think you were just clearing your conscience, not genuinely feeling sorry for what you did to me.

[Asker]

Yeah but it went worst. I don't wanna apologize from next time even if I hurt someone. Would that be okay?

[AviatorTom]

It's okay to not apologize if you want them to know that you are selfish and don't care about them, in fact, you never did.
If that's not what you want, then apologize... soon... to let them know that you care.

[thatshydork]

Can’t say I can fairly judge without more context, but what I can say is these things:

If you rejected him and this is how he reacts, leave him be. He’s healing from the sting of rejection.

Also don’t apologize if you don’t actually feel guilty. Apologies mean nothing if you don’t actually mean them.

You can’t force someone to accept your apology. If you said you’re sorry and meant it and they’re still upset with you/holding a grudge, it’s no longer your problem. You did what you could to make a mends.

[Asker]

I meant it but still received this kind of response due to which I'm deciding to become emotionless and be no apologetic from next time

[SPRGRL]

Like you said, you hurt his feelings. I'm not sure how you did it, but the fact that an apology is not enough, tells me that it was really bab, maybe intentional from you part. And maybe you apology is not being / sounding sincere to him.

You should probably put into perspective what you did, why you did it, and why it bothered him so much.

Crealy you need to mature a little there.

Also, don't get yourself an excuse to be rude to people, juat because one person, one time did not accept your apology.

[Summeroflove]

It depends on what it was for. Just don’t hurt people anymore. I don’t know what you did so I don’t know what you did. So I can’t tell you if it’s warranted or not. Leave him alone whatever the case is

[Asker]

I'll leave him alone as well as stop apologizing to people further even if I hurt them

[Summeroflove]

Well if you hurt someone you should say sorry. But I don’t know what you did. It could be something silly or something very serious. I don’t know. Because you won’t say what you did

[Summeroflove]

Or you can message me. But if you ask me I will give you the truth

[Asker]

I insulted him before everyone

[Summeroflove]

Then don’t insult people. You don’t like your feelings being hurt. Don’t hurt theirs

[coachTanthony]

It's disrespectful apology or not. I would block too.

[Asker]

Why is it disrespectful?

[coachTanthony]

Just look at what you did it's terrible thing to do.

[MattStoney]

Only pussies block others. @danny_dan92 blocked me for calling him out.

[coachTanthony]

@MattStoney You're blocked

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Lmao that Danny guy blocked me when I told him I wasn't interested in him

[Exterminatore]

@mattstoney

Only pussies block others? Nah bro. Toxic people gotta go…. permanently. Got no room in my life for a malignant POS. Life is too short to even have contact with such turds.

Cutting contact with a turd of a human being is not pussy like. That’s called setting a boundary and setting boundaries is not something pussies do.

[MattStoney]

@Exterminatore this is the internet not in person, u pussy

[Exterminatore]

My case in point. The very type of malignant POS who cannot communicate without attempting to belittle and slander. That is a sign of a low IQ. Are you functionally retarded or something.

Now as stated I will it the block button and set up those boundaries I was speaking of.

[Exterminatore]

You seem really self absorbed. You hurt him and apologized. Well, maybe that’s not good enough. He’s under no obligation to forgive you. What exactly did you do? Sometimes a person can go to far.


Because he didn’t accept your apology, you feel not apologizing anymore. Not making amends for your transgressions because him blocking you hurt you. People who are truly sorry are willing to make a wrong right regardless of how it affects them, yet you want to choose to not make wrongs right going forward because his response hurt you.


Sounds rather selfish to me.


If you did wrong, apologize and understand you did wrong. No one is under any obligation to respond in a particular way. You do your part in making it right, regardless of the cost or response.


As for me I will always forgive anyone for anything if I believe them to be sincere and if they ask for my forgiveness, however there are some whom I accepted their apology but the seriousness of the wrong warranted cutting contact with that person permanently. They left my life forgiven, but carrying on the association was deemed by me to either be too potentially harmful in some way, or otherwise so serious that having that person in my life due to the seriousness of the situation was required out of self respect.


It’s not all about your feelings. Whenever you do wrong, apologize and make restitution where appropriate always, but you are in no place to expect acceptance, forgiveness or a continuation of association with that person. They will do what they will do, but you are in control of you and you be sure to acknowledge and apologize for your faults. Doing so is the habit of one with high integrity and character. The one who does not acknowledge their faults and cares not what wrong they did or how it affected someone else is of low character and a selfish and self centered low life.

[Beautyblossom2]

We don't know 'how' you hurted his feelings but we do know that he was in love with you so he obviously felt, whatever you did, deep. If he's distancing himself from you, it's cuz he wants peace n he knows, opening your chat is going to make him think one way or the other (which he doesn't want to do now, he wants the 'quiet').. He's obviously not obligated to forgive you right away just cuz you're feeling like apologising (I'm not saying this.. His 'blocking' says it)
Take care of yourself

[Asker]

Should I learn a lesson not to apologize to anyone else anymore?

[Beautyblossom2]

Obviously not. I've myself apologised to many people, many times got their forgiveness & was appreciated for honestly. But many times, didn't too😅 n was disappointed at cuz of the truth too. But still, too this day, whnv I realise my mistakes, I always apologise.
I mean sure, if you're planning to always apologise to HIM only in the future, then stop.. But u mentioned "anyone else"

[Beautyblossom2]

*honesty *to *then u might consider stopping.. Aahh idek (I had just woken up when I wrote this.. Hope u get the broken lang😓

[Asker]

Yeah

[cloud9vortex1234]

I don't know because I don't know what you did to him. I see women on here venting all the time about how guys are angry at them. The biggest majority of the time women on here leave out what they did to get the guy mad. Sometimes an apology isn't enough for someone and if it was bad enough then it shouldn't be. You might want to ask a Separate Question on what you did to the guy and see how people respond to how bad it is on scale from 1 to 10. That might give you more clarity on what you did and how bad it is.

[Asker]

I insulted him before other guys

[Alli39]

Some people just aren't mature enough to forgive others, and some things are more difficult to forgive than others. Depending on the context, take it as a mix of personal failing on his part, and lack of understanding of his feelings/situation on yours. I can't tell you which I think is predominant in this situation since I don't know the context.

[Viktor001]

In my situation, I blocked her because every time I see her profile pop up that she is online, it reminds of me all the good times before she hurt me and I get heartbroken again.

Maybe he is the same or he just doesn't want to let people walk over him anymore.

If you can't process this then a psychologist will help, there is nothing to be ashamed of, even healthy people should see a psychologist at least once a year or in a few months.

I am not ashamed to say that I am seeing one twice a month and will probably ask for more sessions.

[happyfoetus]

Been in the exact same situation. Fuck and move onn. Chances are, you must have hurt him. Nothing can undo that. Reflecting upon this made you a better person. And regarding that guy. He is carrying onn the hate. It is his problem. It is his sleepless night's baggage. Not yours.

[Whaler]

You would have to elaborate on it a bit further, what are you apologizing for? What happened?

Why block you though? From the little information you’ve given probably because he felt like his time was wasted, either that or it hurts to continue seeing you.

[Asker]

I apologised to him for insulting him before other guys and promised him I won't do it next time but instead of accepting my apology he immediately blocked me

[Whaler]

So you publicly humiliated him… That’s red flag 101, that alone could have made hun completely lose feelings for you

[Exterminatore]

@asker

I see. So you decided to self aggrandize at his expense and try to make an ass out of him, probably irritating him and probably causing him to loose some respect from his peers.

Yeah, I’d accept your apology, then I’d block you. No one plays little narcissist games like that with me and remains in my life.

The only way you’d remain in my life after a stunt like that would be to demonstrate you were truly sorry by finding each and every person you said that in front of and going with me and telling each one you apologized to me and it was wrong of you to do what you did and that you were basically being a bitch without just cause. That would prove to me you were truly sorry and you attempted to fix the damage. Then all would be forgotten and forgiven and you’d prove to be a true friend and truly sorry by humbling yourself in front of the same people you tried to make an ass out of me in front of.

If you refused I’d forgive you and promptly cut you out of my life. At 46 years old I have no place in my life for pathological people with malignant personalities who want to self aggrandize and raise their social standing and self esteem at my expense by humiliating me in front of others.

[Potteplante]

Sounds like you haven't been kind and you're now paying the price for it. If you had been kind - you had not hurt his feelings and wouldn't have a reason to apologize.

Funny, that YOU are becoming emotionless, when it is YOU who is walking around hurting people while somewhat demanding that they must forgive you - just because you apologize.

You sound like a very egocentric, unkind and an ignorant indivual.

[Exterminatore]

Excellent points.

[Spongebobssocks]

This shows you only apologize to be forgiven and do whatever you want. Forgivness is in the hand of the one that got betrayed not the betrayer. All you can do is learn from what you did was wrong. Accept that he won't forgive you and don't make the same misstake again

[ShellyB]

It is hard for us to say bc we don't know exactly what happened especially from his perspective. If it was a good apology, I doubt he blocked because you apologized exactly. It might have been more of a "this girl again - I'm done" type thing. Sorry and good luck!

[RavVid]

Sometimes you can't apologize. "Sorry i cheated honey" doesn't work well.

It is in the view of the hurt person as to whether the apology is acceptable. It might well not be in their view and just because you apologize doesn't they are duty bound to accept it.

I know that women are disinclined to apologize so i think it was good you were willing too.

More the lesson is to not to say hurtful things.

[Anonymous]

There is details missing. Like how did you hurt him

Whenever you have done the wrong thing, it is important to always apologise. However, this does not mean the other person has to accept your apology or that they have to continue to talk to you. Especially if you have hurt them.

[Asker]

I insulted him before other boys

[Opinion Owner]

Well he has very good reason to block you and you are wondering why he blocked you. It was pretty low of you to insult him insult at him but even worse to do it in front of others

[Asker]

Why he chosen to block me? Doesn't it mean that he's a bad person?

[Anonymous]

He is under no obligation to accept your apology.

Second, we don't know the situation.

Maybe you didn't hurt him, maybe you annoyed the fuck out of him, and he sees this as a fake apology just so you can claim he got his feelings hurt, which he sees as emasculating and belittling.

[Asker]

It's true the he was hurt. But I apologised to him after 2 years about that

[Anonymous]

Firstly, it depends on what kind of mistake did u commit and how severe he find it.. Secondly, you might apologizing at the wrong time, hence u didn't make things better but instead worse. You need to know that, not a simply 'apology' can solve all issues, sometimes it needs more than that, but saying so, doesn't mean his action is justifiable.. Anyhow, reflect ur mistake, and still be kind. One person blocking u even u being kind doesn't mean others will do the same thing..

[Anonymous]

It's a block-able offence because you're not apologising for Your actions, you're blaming His feelings for being hurt.

"Unnecessarily kind"... to someone you know you wronged?

"I don't feel like staying kind anymore to anyone else", were you pretending to be kind all this time? What you've written here sounds very Red Flag

[Exterminatore]

Spot on. It does sound very red flag.

Woe is me. I did something F’d up and making amends for my crap behavior only to be blocked hurt my feelings. It’s all about me and not what I did wrong. I won’t be apologizing to anyone in the future because it’s just too hard to own what I do, and deal with the consequences of what I do and it’s too had when i do wrong to make it right and correct myself.

That’s what I’m hearing.

Sound about right?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some people will forgive but they will not forget & some people will not forgive & it would be better if they forget you. Time will tell & for the time being just let them go & let them do their own thing in their own way.

[Asker]

I let him go but as a lesson from him should I stop apologizing my faults to anyone I might hurt further?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

You should always do the right thing & there is nothing wrong with apologizing. In the future if you are at fault apologize & move forward even if the person you apologize to doesn’t want to move forward move forward with your life anyway.

[Throwawaynowknow]

Because he either embarrassed you said no and doesn't want to see you nd be reminded of it. Or your reaction to his advances he felt was harsh.

Since you didn't mention specifically what happened I'll assume it was kind of fucked up. You went anonymous for a reason, just tell us what happened..

[HaveNoName]

I do not know exactly what happened between you but in my book, apologies are only for accidents. Outside that, everything is in your control. I only give one chance for someone to be discourteous, selfish, harsh, cocky etc...

Perhaps he is the same, to some extent.