Would you let your 16 year old daughter (who lives with you) let her boyfriend stay round?

Question

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

This is a good question because this sort of thing actually happened with me...

I don't want to go into details, but, in August one summer, my girlfriend was not quite 17, I was older and in college. She was a local girl who'd been my girlfriend for almost a year. I was not local; my home was 3 hours south of my college which was in the metro area of my girlfriend. I was her first boyfriend, she was my second girlfriend. Her mother was very cool. Her father was out of the picture. Well, I had quit my job suddenly at the end of July so, since I had no reason to stay near home and since I also needed to find a place to live for the coming school year, my girlfriend and her mom (who was not quite 38 and rather attractive) let me live with them. The mother almost certainly knew that we were not virgins, but she also likely knew that her daughter and I lost our virginity to each other.

It was nice being with them. It was like I was the man-of-the-house and this was a new home that they just moved into. The mother and her boyfriend were a bit on the outs at the time (they are married now).

I miss those days actually. Living with them while I was not in school was the beginning of me feeling integrated into the community. Because of them, I had reason to travel around that metro area beyond my college town. Ultimately, I ended up living in that metro area for 30 years. I miss it.

Iron_Man · Accepted Answer

Hell no I don’t even want her dating at 16 if I had one all that does is just lead to sex absolutely no way not happening on my watch

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

Do I like the boyfriend and think it is a healthy relationship? If the answer is yes, then I would let him stay over but on these conditions, first I would need to talk with his mom and make sure she feels good about it and that we agree on any rules. Second he would be in a guest room or sleeping on a couch.

If I do not like the boyfriend or think it is a bad relationship then I would simply say no (I would not even give a reason, just no).

Then again I am 25 and do not have kids yet so some things may be easy for me to say lol.

Adaeva · Accepted Answer

She would have boyfriends that visit. That is customary and normal. However, there is no possible reason that her boyfriend would stay the night. It is not like he lives some great distance from us. And, I certainly would not approve of bundling, regardless of what board is placed on the bed between them.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The only reason for him to spend the night would be for him to have sex with her and I doubt I would want to condone that for a 16 year old girl. However, I also understand that if she wants to have sex, I won't be able to stop her.

AviatorTom · Answer

Sure... he would sleep in the guest room.

Drewtate · Answer

Stay over? He'll no. My 16 year old son's girlfriend maybe. Sounds sexist but my 16 year old son isn't going to get pregnant, isn't going to need an abortion, isn't going to be out of school for two years, isn't going to have me supporting financially and raising a baby probably for 10 years.

No I wouldn't facilitate my teenage daughter's sex life. That sends a bad message.

I've been that guy staying at a girlfriend's who has "cool" parents and let's just say those girls had low moral values and didn't end up in good places.

236color · Answer

Depends on what you mean by "stay around". Come over to the house, sure. Not in her bedroom or behind closed doors. Basically, he can visit but I think 16 is too young to have sex. I may not be able to stop them, but I'm not going to help them.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I maybe about to contradict myself.
It depends. If the boyfriend was 30 I would certainly not entertain it.
Assuming they were age appropriate, I had met them before, I would hope by 16 my kids would be mature enough to make their own decisions. They could be working, riding a motorbike on the roads, making decisions on their academic future, even joining the army. I'd make sure they knew that I knew what might happen. I'd make sure condoms were available and I'd encourage my daughter to be in the pill.

adidas0169 · Answer

Define stay around 1st. if you mean come over watch movies on the couch in the living room couple times awk sure come over and eat with the family sure be alone with my daughter ( if I had any kids ) oh hell no don't think so. if the boy is older then 18 don't think so. after your 18 your an adult you date adults not children. if the boy was hoodrat nope don't think so. if boy mistreated my daughter as in raise there voice to them lay a hand on them etc then that boy will have to deal with me then. i once was 16 before and I know what 16 yr old boys think and want but with this generation now who knows what they want.

slatyb · Answer

You mean like overnight? Yes. I would make sure she was on birth control and STDs weren't an issue. This is very common in the Netherlands and guess what? They have a very low rate of teen pregnancies. Where are there a lot of teen pregnancies? In the parts of the US where they have "abstinence-only" sex education, which means "no sex education".

Davidbrooks · Answer

I let my daughter's boyfriend stay over at the age of 17 had no issues but l made sure she was on the pill. Because if you are not open with your kids they will be doing it behind your back.

I always made sure I have a good relationship with my daughter so she can cone to me with issues in her life

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on what you mean by stay around.. As in live in my home? Hell no, hang out once or twice a week? Maybe. On that same token, it also depends on his age.. If said man was 30 or even 25.. They are likely to get shot if they come around my home if he is 16 to 20, I'd have little issue with it.

purplepoppy · Answer

Yes just so I can make them both cringe with the birds and bees chat

Potteplante · Answer

Yes, I'd rather my kid had a safe spot in their home - no matter the gender over them going behind my back, doing stuff in unsafe envirmoents.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Yes. Here she'd be legal for sex if that was something they wanted to do. And better safe at home then God knows where else?

Anemone978 · Answer

Absolutely not.. I don't need my kid being a teen mom trash bag.. that is such a setup for disaster to let them ruin their lives like that..

Wonderingguyy · Answer

If I had a kid then yeah I would. I would like to think I’d be the chill dad.  If I thought the boyfriend was an idiot though I wouldn’t let him.

Huntingnfishin · Answer

As once being that 16 yr old boy... I can tell you why he's hanging around your house with your daughter

Alexz0 · Answer

Yes, her choice, if she's safe she can have sex whenever and with whoever she wishes.

MasterButtram919 · Answer

I ain't raising no dirty butt. She going to stay clean in morals if she wanna remain my daughter, or she can go be the devil's daughter.

Riverdog · Answer

16 is the legal age of consent and if she’s going to have sex over night I can guarantee she will also have sex during the day. So yes he boyfriend can stay over

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know if anyone wants to be round, maybe a healthier shape😂

Anonymous · Answer

I heard back in the 40s and 50s, a kid had to sit with the girl in front of everyone and talk to her if she was coming over. That's probably how I would do it. There's no reason for them to sit in their bedroom together alone.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, so I can keep an eye on him,

inhua · Answer

my house my rules. both must abide by them

4ngelic · Answer

yea really couldnt care less

Minahh · Answer

I don't know probably no

Mallic00 · Answer

"Oral only. No Intercourse."

SnowedIn · Answer

Yes I would.

riverrat3 · Answer

Easier to keep an I on if they are near

Byuser · Answer

wouldn't let

Kelly6 · Answer

Yes I would

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