If your daughter brought home someone you really didn't approve of would you still let her date them? Why or why not?

[Lucy68]

Updates

1 y

Getting flashbacks from when I was teenager and I dated guys my parents mainly my mother hated with passion

[nisnaia]

Yea of course.
If it's a real bad person I would talk to her about it though.
Would already raise her like that so I can talk to her about these things.

[Cubus]

It depends. You can't generalise.

[Summeroflove]

This depends on more then that

[NathanDavis]

I am a very reasonable and open enough person... if I didn't approve of someone then I would have very real and valid reasons to do so, and so... they would have to be considered and respected

now, about "allowing" her to date someone or not, that would depend on other factors like age, the kind of relationship they would have, her mindset, and the partners mindset as well and of course the mother would have a say as well

and then it would be actual reasons of why I do not approve of it... there could be lesser things and some greater things that I would just not be able to overlook or tolerate. lol

[MrPickles13]

If I ever do have kids I'd probably for one want to get to know then more so not to pass to much judgement. But then maybe just warm her to be cautions and that id be there if she needed me as it's not really your place to control who they date they are there own person who needs to grow and make mistakes and learn and also they would probably just date them anyway but at least if I didn't try to control it I could support her more and not have to worry as much as she likely be more open and less secretive

[Blackcosmo]

There's a good reason I wouldn't approve of them like if they're a total asshole or something. I'm not judgmental so a few flaws isn't gonna hurt anyone and no one's perfect, also bad habits can be fixed of course. What matters is if they're a good person and treat her right.

[laurieluvsit]

Typically, what you describe is done out of rebellion due to a less than kosher relationship between the parents and the daughter.

The only way to avoid this is to have a good close relationship with your daughter as a parent. Most kids who have good relationships want to please their parents, not disappoint them.

If the relationship is rocky, this is just going to be one of the rocks.

[razelove]

Yes, I would go overboard about how much I support them, and how he seems like a great guy. I noticed with myself, and my sisters, when my parents resisted, we doubled down, when they liked who we were dating, it cooled off.

So if they bring home someone I really like, I'm going to be all like you're too blond!

[Kaamraj]

If by someone who I know is a bad person, then I'd make it clear that if you are above the age of 18 then you're now an adult and can move out of the hosue then you can do whatever you want. But as long as you are younger than 18 and under my roof there are some rules (my rules) that you have to follow.

[Th3ft]

So similar to what Miss Laurie said I think that the best way to avoid something like this is when you have an outstanding relationship with your kids. It maybe just be that the guy is really good at hiding how much of an asshole he really is and she can’t tell. And that is a learning moment. In which case I would allow it to continue to some degree. But also it depends on my relationship with her at this moment. Like how much can I do for her and how much will she listen.

[Sixgunsound]

When my daughters are old enough to date, I would hope that I would have prepared them for reality and adult life. I would hope that they would have self-confidence and discernment and the ability to tell who a man is and whether or not he is worth her time. In my house I expect my rules to be followed; in her apartment or house she can do whatever the you know what she wants.

[Blackcupcake]

there has to be reasons…


if I don’t approve for valid reasons then my opinion wouldn’t change, however I wouldn’t force her to leave him, I would educate her, make her aware of things and then keep an eye, make sure she’s safe, protected and smart…

[jahaims]

Depends on her age. If she is an adult she can do what she wants. I would tell her why I feel the way I feel and warn her that she is free to make her own mistakes but then they are her mistakes and I will not be helping her when I warned her she was going to shoot herself in the foot.

[Agape93]

Sure, but make it clear to that person that if something happens to my daughter, they'll never find what's left of em.

[Shamalien]

If I didn’t like em I’d make em look like an idiot instead of telling her she can’t date him. I might be like “hey, let’s play some soccer” and then bodycheck him. Or if he’s strong then play the mental route, ask him questions he won’t give intelligent responses to. If he’s strong and smart then fuck yo she should just date him lol

[dustybiker]

Glad I don’t have a daughter. I would assume she would be sensible by dating age. She’d have to live her own life and make her own mistakes. If she wouldn’t trust me to trust her on that she wouldn’t come to me for advice when it falls apart.

[ThoseCognacEyes]

I don’t have kids and I’m not married but if I did have a daughter I would be protective of her. If she’s with someone who hurt her in any way shape or form, I’m gonna have to take him out, unfortunately for him.

[Anthony20108]

yeah i would date them if i loved them because it's my partner so my feelings should matter the most in choosing MY partner right?, not my family's lol, but of course i love my family so i would probably listen to what they had to say and try to understand why they feel the way they do.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

I would try to talk to her about it. It depends why I dont approve of the guy because if it's something minor, I rather have her learn her lesson. if its anything else, she's absolutely forbidden.

[Kaneki05]

"Let her" there is not letting she's a person free to do what she wants. I don't control her actions. The best I can do is give my advice.

[Whatever2929292]

If she was under 18 (even older if she was living with me I could say he ain't to be in my house) it would depend but I guess not.

Over 18... Not much I can do

[AviatorTom]

If my daughter is an adult, she can date whoever she wants. I may voice my approval or disapproval but it's not my place to li it who she can date. Different story if she's a teenager living at home.