Would you ever use your partner’s past as a weapon?

[Anonymous]

Like, they tell you they’re trying to improve themselves and make themselves a better person because they didn’t like how they were before then. Would you ever hang their past above them?

[Yannae]

How can I use such a strong decision to self improve against them? It should be respected, rather.

[Asker]

You would be shocked on how many people do that to make their partner feel like shit.

[Yannae]

I don't understand how that makes sense because for them to be your partner... you first have to like them. And you are attracted to who they are at this moment, so I don't understand how you can make fun of the journey they took to be someone with qualities that you are attracted to.

[Asker]

Tons of people like to have a power trip, I guess.

[Sonorous]

Give me a more specific example. What would it take for it to be a weapon? Just mentioning it?

[Asker]

Yes. For example, you did drugs but decided to get clean. Your partner mentions about it at any chance they could get. Like, they say, “My ex never did drugs. Why did you?” They just do it to make you feel like shit about yourself.

[Sonorous]

Oh nahhhhhh tbh not even if they did something cruel to me. I prefer to say things that are wayy more constructive

[JustinTheGreat]

If they’ve genuinely changed then no of course not.
But if they’re continuing the same behavior as before then yeah I’d probably bring it up. I wouldn’t say I’m using it as a weapon though, more exposing a pattern

[AaronKrieger]

Fuck no, that sounds awful to do to someone.

[slatyb]

No, I wouldn't, and I wouldn't stay with someone who did.

[Mark987]

No never... everyone is entitled to make mistakes... as long as they learn from them. If they keep doing it then it's a different story

[loveslongnails]

No, it's pointless, anti-productive and rather cruel. It demonstrates a real lack of compassion and a very small person.

[Mansearching]

No. Never. Past is the past. Cannot harp on it. Look forward never backward.

[Anonymous]

i do when she crosses boundaries and when she hits below the belt

[elizamichale1]

Not really but I do bring it up sometimes

[Asker]

What for?

[elizamichale1]

Well he used to bully me so badly so sometimes I bring it up how times hav changed n how cruel he was etc

[LemiaOfThunder]

No because I had mine used against me

[BLP11520]

No I would not

[sheikalana]

Nope.

[dudeinohio]

Never

[LunarEclipse433]

Nope. Encourage them

[Guido]

Absolutely not.

[eagle1951]

maybe

[Asker]

What do you mean “maybe”?