How do I start a conversation with my crush in school (move info below)?

[Totsnotcassie]

From what I know by my friend whom asked him questions about himself last period: he really likes engineering and math. He’s also a tad socially awkward which I find adorable lol. Anyways main point she asked him about his ‘relationship status’ and he mentioned how he recently got broken up with. She also asked him about his ‘type’ and he just mentioned about how he doesn’t have a type and just wants someone who is nice to him 🥹. I only have one class period with him and we don’t sit close together (assigned seating UGH) but we’ve made eye contacted before and he seems ‘nervous’? Around me. So how do I start a conversation/ get to know him? Thanks 🙏

[Anonymous]

I only know two perspectives because that's what I experienced myself.

First easy one is just talk to everyone. Maybe that doesn't happen in high school where there's cool kids and loser kids or whatever. But in the real adult world, you can pretty much chat up anyone anywhere.

It always starts with hi how are you? Or something like that. And then you say "well it's too fuckin hot outside today" and then they laugh and say yea and then boom you start talking.

But I guess high school isn't like that. Kids are dumb lol. How anyone gets through high school without being socially awkward I don't know.

The second option that really comes from my own high school days as a shy guy who had girls that had crushes on him.

But I was ultra shy. I also was a complete social outcast. I had zero friends and I smelled bad. We were poor at home and did not do laundry or take showers. It's amazing any girls had crushes on me. I'm sure if they did, they wouldn't act on trying to date the kid with zero friends who always gets bullied. I realized later part of why I would get bullied is because the guys saw the girls looking at me constantly because I was and still am good looking.

Anyways, there was nothing a girl could say to me. I would be shy and afraid.

But a few girls went way above and beyond. They caught me outside of school or something. One girl caught me and said I have a present for you. She wanted to take my virginity and did.

I had sex with a few girls this way. They just walked right up to me and said they wanted to fuck me and I was like "ok."

I don't know how shy or socially awkward your guy is. Probably not as bad as me.

But being socially awkward and shy is really hard. It took me 15 years after high school of hard dedicated work forcing myself to talk to people, for me to finally learn social skills.

It felt like being blind. Like I was the one dummy among a ton of geniuses.

It is debilitating to be socially awkward and lost.

Just depends on the person. Not everyone is so bad as I was. It is a spectrum.

You just have to test and try him. Try to casual say something to him. And then next time take a step further. See how he reacts.

I used to fall in love with any girl who was nice to me back in school when I had no friends. You can't judge by his reaction that he doesn't like you.

He might react like he doesn't like you but it's just the social awkwardness that does that.

[Totsnotcassie]

He’s not extremely shy he's just well… shy.

[Summeroflove]

Well. I think you better act fast especially if another girl is hitting on him. Because you might not have much longer.

I would say first time conversations can be awkward but if you’re interested in one another then I’m sure once you warm up to one another and get to know each other. Things will be come better.

One thing you can do is see if he wants to grab coffee sometime. That’s easy if the date isn’t going well. It’s easy to bail without any pressure. You could also strike up a conversation about.

Was your friend hitting on him or was she doing it for you?

[Totsnotcassie]

My friends gay she was doing it for me, she has talked to him randomly prior.

[Summeroflove]

Oh I see. Ok. Well I would still try to make a move as soon as you can. Wish you the best

[Totsnotcassie]

Lol I usually wait until men make the first move in fear of rejection.

[Summeroflove]

Then you limit your opinions. Everyone fears rejection. But you’re probably not the only girl who likes him lol.

[Summeroflove]

Think of it this way. Even if he rejects you…. You’re not sitting around wasting your time for a guy who ain’t even into you and won’t make a move anyways.

What happens when people wait is they end up moving on with someone else.

[Summeroflove]

Also. Crushes can come and go. He may like you right now. But if you wait too long… He could start loosing interest and someone else catches his eye.

[Totsnotcassie]

That’s true I suppose. I asked him if he could help me out with math in the library during study hall and we’re going to set up a time I suppose.

[Summeroflove]

Good idea. If he says yes to that I think maybe you should then consider asking him on a date. Maybe just a coffee shop

[MemeSupreme]

find excuses to talk to him, so like ask him for help with math and ask him for his number or social media incase you got questions. works too if you're in a group project lol

[Totsnotcassie]

I just found out from my friend he’s extremely good at math.

[caring__1]

Hopefully you're not competing with your friend for his attention. If not, let him know when something he says in class impresses you. Ask him for help. Offer to help him. Share interesting stories you hear or discover on the Internet (ie https://interestingengineering.com/innovation/innovation-interesting-engineering-10-stories ). Take things slow and easy. Be patient, and focus on friendship first. Girls tend to mature before guys, so don't expect him to be where you're at.

[caring__1]

Once you get to know him, you can ask him what he learned from his past relationships, both about himself and potential partners. That can give you insight into where he's at and what he might be seeking. Show him you want to see things through his eyes rather than just expect to be heard.

[Totsnotcassie]

Lol my friends gay.

[caring__1]

I guess she just wanted to give you a hand. I hope it was helpful.

[Anonymous]

If he just got broken up with, make sure he's had a week or so to process that. There's no need to rush into a relationship when you can be friends first.

Engineering and math sound boring, but maybe it can be fun to ask why he likes those subjects. You might learn something new, like he has a logical brain, or wants to become a bridge engineer one day or something. It's just a gateway topic, no need to limit yourself.

Tell him your name if he doesn't know it. See if he wants to be friends, and make sure he knows you're not trying to prank him. His ex might get jealous, as well so be prepared.

Ask if you can get his contact info after a week, to lessen suspicion. Or you can go sooner, I guess.

If nothing else, use kid-gloves on the shy guys because they'll second-guess things sometimes and convince themselves they're dreaming it up or something.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Give him your phone number, write him a small note, tell him what your attractive about him, ask him what he likes to do for fun, ask him if he has hobbies, what kind of food does he like? See these are some things that might interest him, hope this helps you. Give him your status and for how long.

[spartan55]

Go up to him, say hi and introduce yourself.

[riverrat3]

Why not talk to him during lunch

[Totsnotcassie]

We have lunch together but we eat in different areas. I eat in the commons with my friend group and he eats in the cafeteria with his friend group.

[riverrat3]

Ask him if he would sit with you