I am 28M and dating a 21F via Hinge. We texted around 2 weeks everyday, once a week with very long messages. And we sogar met 3 times during 2 weeks. They lasted 4,6,8 hours each. First one was just chatting at the cafe, second one was hiking and dinner. Third one was we went to the zoo and then we were supposed to go to the cafe nearby her place ( i proposed the cafe there) but it was closed and she invited me to her place and we just drunk tea for 3 hours. Then went out for dinner. I wasn't sure to initiate sth at her place but didn't do anything but asked her short kiss after dinner when we say bye. When she went to the toilette, unintentionally I saw her phone and she got some hinge messages. so I guess she's not seeing me exclusively and maybe she's not sure as well. Im so into her so I'm not seeing anyone now. I didn't tell her this but asked what's her dating goal and she said she wants monogamy + stable and serious relationshop. She had before but didn't last long , mostly max 6months. I understand that seeing 3 times doesn't give convince. But I still see that she invests a lot of time and effort on me, we text mostly 2 times a day with quite long messages, sharing our days but mainly small talks. Also we will see this week as well, but we go to see the football match which we planned before. I am planning to invite her for 5th date but well who know. Just I am not convinced at this date because 1. She still sees others 2. She doesn't initiate anything. I always had to do first move + organise date (including asking out) maybe I am older and more experienced so she may expect me to do so. At least she always says yes and listens very well. But doesn't ask deep questions like my dating goals or past ones much. Normally in third or fourth, I've been convinved that she's definitely into me but I am not much convinced and have some doubt. Maybe I am plan B for her? Is it normal to feel so?
Girls, Date is going well but is it normal not to be convinved?
What Girls Said
How do you unintentionally see someone's phone? Don't get how that happens. You either look or you don't. I very much doubt she just left her messages open and walked away. Anyway that really doesn't matter. I think you have yourself convinced this isn't a good fit. All I see is doubt when reading the descriptive. If you have this much doubt already then I think you need to move on. This might just be the way she is. She might like others to lead in a relationship. The fact that you are not exclusively dating each other gives her the right to see other people. She SHOULD be upfront with that to you but until you both agree that you are not seeing others she is allowed to just as you can.
She put her phone on the table and there was alert with sound and on the screen there was alert. It was small table so itwasnt easy not to look at it. But thank you so much for advice. I do not ask her to see me exvlusively and maybe right, she wants me to lead. Nothing wrong in her side. I will see, how it ends up.
Good luck to you both. I just get this vibe that she is a girl that likes to be led. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't agree to any of these meetups. That is the feeling I am getting anyway.
Thank you, I agree with your advice.
She's keeping her options. Which as a woman is smart for her to do
I don’t blame it and I did same before. Just I was curious whether she has interest in me. But thanks a lot for ur opinion
You are just an option, as all men should be.