I don’t know if my boyfriend of almost 4 years loves me?

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

He knows that I have sexual needs but he would never ask to hang out even if it involves sex he wouldn’t hang out on his free day. He should know by now that my sexual needs aren’t being met i touched myself after sex because i wasn’t able to finish. He asks me if I need anything and me knowing that he won’t want to have sex again or might struggle staying hard after round 2 I just say no because his oral I don’t like. And also he used to take me to places that I need to go but now he tries to make an excuse so I had to drive myself farther than I ever have today for an interview because he was coming up with an excuse. The man is sweet but he doesn’t really do anything to impress me the most he’ll do is wear cologne but he only wants to be in his room or in my house doing the same thing.

Updates

6 mo

I feel like I’m going crazy sexually and I want a man to touch me (I only want him) but he could’ve asked me to hang out with him today to make sex up to me but he didn’t and today’s his free day

Updates

6 mo

He is currently suffering from nausea with certain foods so I should probably leave him alone

[Keyboardkat]

Sounds like he's become complacent in the relationship. Like he's taking for granted you'll be there whether he does anything or not. So it's easier not to. Maybe you need to shake him up. Tell him how your'e feeling and that he is forcing you into a position where you'll have to look for someone else.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

I did and he started overthinking it affected his performance and it was even worse he lasted like 15 seconds it sucked

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

What should i say to not make him feel bad? I missed my chance today so I’ll have to wait until Sunday to get sex again :( because we live apart and he works

[lightbulb27]

sounds like he loves living within his limitations, not responding to your needs.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Who knew that extremely sweet men could be selfish too 😭😭

[lightbulb27]

they are probably the worst...

[provokeesmokee]

Sounds like it's time to get couples counselling or to move on.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Couples counseling but we have a great healthy relationship the only problem is that I am not being satisfied in that area and i have tried to tell him then he started overthinking and it affected his ability to perform even more

[provokeesmokee]

Sex therapy is an option too - some couples counselors are also sex therapists.

What you described doesn't sound healthy. He sounds avoidant and trying to not engage, instead of actually trying to work on this issue.

And likewise, he may not always be in the mood and you have to respect that.

How about getting sex toys? He could get some reprieve from you, you can satisfy yourself better than he can satisfy you, and heck maybe him+toys is all you need to fix it.

But honestly? Professional help. Whether that's couples counselling or sex therapy.

Also if he's bad at sex, teach him! Tell him what he does right, redirect him gently when he goes wrong, be extra vocal when he does good. It's like training an animal.

Then look up instructional porn videos. Especially for him eating you out.

That can be super sexy and also validating.

Sex isn't exactly a topic we have deep innate knowledge of as humans. It's a skill you can develop.

[ReverseCowboy]

Simple answer is; you two need to talk. Have a deep conversation about what you want and how you want it.
When it comes to the sex, I also suggest try new things. You say you don't like when he licks you and he finishes to fast. Try get away from the traditional way to have sex and explore new ways.

[Billlewis]

It sounds like he's taking you for granted.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

What should I do? Because I can’t tell him that my needs aren’t being met I have done that before and he starts overthinking and getting performance anxiety

[Billlewis]

I think you should consider replacing him, or at least getting yourself a side guy. I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well if you want.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

I’m not like that. This is the only guy that I want to be with.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he loves easy sex from you.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

We only have sex once a week though

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

He’s the only guy that I’ve had sex with

[Opinion Owner]

You're going to be horny everyday if you're actively getting sex from your girlfriend. So once a week is fine.

He's not going to be horny everyday like a virgin if he's getting sex once a week.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

I am the one feeling like they’re going crazy because he is not satisfying me and frankly I think that he doesn’t give a fuck

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

It’s not fair that he gets to bust a nut everytime but I’m over here left unsatisfied and wanting more

[Opinion Owner]

It's cause the longer you do it the less appealing it is. Now he's just doing it to get the poison out his system and it's no longer because he's passionate.

[Bigjake1995]

What the fuck