Are these red flags?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a girl for 2 months, and she asked these questions I thought they were weird, but I thought I would get a second opinion. First thing a little history I am a physician, and obviously in a mountain of debt. I have not really dated since I started medical school, and do not know if these are appropriate questions as you got older.

First, She asked how much money I made, and how much debt I was in by the 3-5th date.

Second, She asked if we had a mentally challenged child (Trisomy 21/Downs Syndrome) would I be okay with giving it up for adoption.

Thirds, she said a main concern for her is the amount of debt I was in. I didn't tell her exact amounts, but did give ballpark estimates (north of 200k).

Are these normal questions? They seem like a person who isn't a nice person. Am I right?

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Sorry for the grammar issues/mistakes. I wrote the question in a haste.

[Oliverlogan263]

Those questions do seem like potential red flags man. A few thoughts:

- Asking about your salary and debt really early on is kinda rude. Money stuff should wait til you know each other better.

- Wondering if you'd give up a disabled kid is super weird. Like that wouldn't even cross my mind on a date.

- Focusing so much on your debt level rather than who you are is shallow. She acts like you're just a dollar sign.

My advice would be to hit the brakes on this girl. Some of those questions cross boundaries in my opinion. Especially that thing about a disabled baby - what a bizarre and insensitive thing to bring up.

I'd pay attention to how else she acts - is she caring and supportive or just self-interested? You gotta judge whether this is just innocent ignorance on her part or true personality red flags. Proceed with caution for sure. You don't want someone shallow or not understanding about your career. Your financial future is your business.

Trust your gut - if she's giving you bad vibes already, it's probably for a reason. You'll find someone better who likes you for you, not just your salary or lack of debt. Be picky man, you deserve that!

[Flatmanlewis]

I would say those are pretty concerning. She’s showing her shallowness with preplanning giving up a child. (A shockingly narcissistic act) and delving into your personal affairs pretty early on. Those seem like two good “wave offs” to me.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I wouldn't be answering any of those questions.

[MrNameless]

Yeah those questions are bizarre.

How does she behave in real life though? Does she make you pay for everything, does she like extravagant stuff?

[JacobJordan]

run far and run fast

[Matilde03]

I don think I would ask those question no way.