Are there EVER any nice, decent guys in the dating world nowadays? Why do most guys just want sex from us ladies?

Question

Okay so dating really sucks because most guys I like or encountered only want sex from me just because I’m “hot” and “gorgeous”. I mean I am good looking, fit, thick and I have killer curves so I am stunning. I am 5’4”. Look I’m not trying to be a snob or have a huge ego, I’m saying all this because it’s the truth! Truth hurts, get over it. Anyways I’ve never dated anyone longer than five months. Every relationship I’ve had I’ve always been dumped, cheated on and it doesn’t end well. I let go guys become most only want sex. It’s like the plain jane women have long lasting relationships! I even broken up with a guy because we fought to much. He was too pure, too nurturing and it’s fake. That’s a woman’s job to be nurturing. The last guy I dated cheated on me with a plain jane. She isn't even that good looking. She’s thin, tall (which guys don’t like either of them), and she is quite frankly, looks homely. I don’t sugarcoat it. He is 6’5, good looking and he picked an approximate 5’10” skinny ass giant! He used me! I’ll never find a nice guy! I thought y’all men are disgusted but tall women? Dating sucks!

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Could be all kinds of things. Dudes in their 20s aren’t great targets for long-term, I wasn’t about that life either back then. Maybe we should be, but the reality is most of us aren’t, and we view that era as a time to sow our wild oats.

The other thing to remember…. almost everyone you date in your life is going to be a “miss”, ideally only one person makes the final cut, or maybe two or three over the course of your life if you get divorced or whatever. The rest of ‘em are just going to be ships passing through the port.

Also, respectfully, what do YOU bring to the table besides your supposedly remarkable looks? That’s great, but there’s an expiration date on all of us, we’ll all eventually be wrinkly old people, so you can’t just float by on your looks. You need to have a sweet personality as well, or no one will want to stick around. What do you do that’s going to make you an ideal life partner, not just now, but when you’re 70? Also, there’s the old saying: “show me any hot woman, and I’ll show you a guy that’s tired of fucking her.” That probably can go both ways, but I’m just saying there needs to be more than just “I’m hot” that’s keeping them on the hook.

Love is hard to find, bottom line. We’re looking for this difficult crossing of compatibilities: physical, sexual, personality, life goals, etc. The bruta fact is that almost everyone is not a match for you. Plenty of people to fuck, very few to build a life with. As we get older I think the urgency creeps in and we start to settle, which isn’t always a bad thing, just an understanding that no one is perfect and we’re just trying to find someone to love who we don’t want to choke out three times a week, lmao.

I can’t even imagine the dating scene now that there’s Tinder. Anybody worth your while probably has multiple people knocking on their door at a given time. It used to be that you just had to happen across someone by chance, now we’re all on a dating menu😂 So we’re all competing with EVERYONE. Those of us who can attract multiple people will probably not choose and just opt for all of them, as long as they can pull it off for. I think that’s just what the dating scene is right now, and that’s unfortunate, I don’t envy younger people living these days.

For yourself…. all I can think to do is be stingier about sex. You’ll spend a lot more Saturday nights at home, but if you make it clear to all these guys that just because you both swiped right on each other doesn’t mean you’re just going to hop into bed right away. Make them date you, show that they’re serious, and go home and sit on a bag of frozen peas when you get dropped off and send the guy home, lmao. Make them wait six weeks, not six days, or six hours. Any guy just looking to get his whistle wet will fall off of the chase. You’ll lose men to other women in the short term. But at the end of it, you’ll end up with serious suitors only, and way fewer frogs to kiss.

Good luck out there👍

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

Two part answer. Are there nice, decent guys? Yes. I know plenty. In fact I wish I knew more decent single women to set them up with.

Second part, if the common denominator in a series of failed relationships is you, then fox the only thing you can control: you. Maybe it’s controlling the kind of men you let into your life; maybe it’s an attitude; maybe it’s something you are tolerating in men until it just explodes into the relationship.

Lastly, never forget beauty attracts but it doesn’t keep so if this last dude went for some tall girl you think is less attractive than you ask yourself what DID she bring to the table? (Believe it or not, a lot of men really like tall women. Not my jam, but it’s a popular thing.)

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

Sad part is I don't know you you may be the sweetest person on Earth but the way you talk doesn't let a person see that. it's one thing to be beautiful and know that you're beautiful but when you end the sentence with truth hurts; that's snotty, immature sounding and no one's going to take you seriously

Beauty only takes a woman so far. if woman cannot let her inner beauty shine brighter than her outer then a man is only going to want her in the bed but to keep a man a woman needs to prove to him that there's more to her than her looks

Oh my God the answer to your question is all within your first couple sentences you come off as a snob and men don't want a woman who comes off full of themselves. Such woman are only to f#$k... You say you don't have a big ego you might want to double check the way you portray yourself you might not mean to come out in this way but trust me you don't come off sounding friendly or inviting.

At The end of the day a man wants a gentle woman a respectable lady on the streets who he can take home to Mama. who he knows can keep a steady conversation who isn't vain, shows that she is truly interested in who he is as well as how he feels, what he's interested in. She needs to have something to offer him she needs to bring him tranquility care about his troubles and his suffering. see what makes him a good man. understand how she can guide him to help him improve what he wants to improve. A good woman understands his aspirations and encourages him. It's sad so many women nowadays see men as this cruel uncaring creatures but in truth is they are more sensitive and compassionate than what the world allows them to be. Society has double standards for them on one hand we demand them to be strong or Rock and we immediately see him as an unfeeling being and the moment that they show any feelings we call him weak.

a true woman sees that this is not the case nor should it ever be that way. A woman who can get into a man's mind and sees him for everything that he truly is; the good and his faults, his fears and his strengths; is a woman a man finds Worthy to keep by his side. to love in the day and of course to love at night.

Good men exist I myself found one here on G@G and I've been loving him for over a year. I love his tenderness his compassion and even his faults insecurities and fears. I love that he sees past my outer beauty and sees who I am inside.

The truth of the matter you don't have to be beautiful on the outside to keep the man... Being naturally beautiful takes no talent it's either gifted to you or it's not. However being a beautifully respectable compassionate supportive and an understanding person take skills.

Altheavas · Accepted Answer

Reading your post, and that statement of. “You think the guy was too pure..” that got me like what the heck.. !
I understand, the fake part, I would agree on sensing fake emotions, but guys/men are human too not commodities lol.

The way you judge others, would make me run too if I was a guy/man. Danm girl !!
I tend to be like a robot when it comes to feelings lol, but that’s a little inconsiderately savage sorta ways lol.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's up to you to properly vet the guy you are dating. Are you aligned? Same goals? If the guy says he just wants to see how it goes or see where it goes then he doesn't have any goals in mind for a relationship.

JacobJordan · Answer

well to be fair and to be blunt most women today only have sex to offer. most women do not bring a man peace. they do not make his life any easier. they do not help him with his future etc so since the majority only have sex to offer the majority of guys they are going to meet are only going to use them for sex. this is why sex is meant to be a very intimate thing that happens between 2 people. maybe a second set of people if the first relationship should fail. but as relationships are seen as disposable and marriage is seen as a means to an end by a lot of people and sex is seen as just another act like hugging or kissing relationships as a whole have been fairly heavily devalued.

lgh1998 · Answer

Ok so the answer is simple here. Much like you all the "good looking" guys are only interested in their bodycount, appart from the nice goodlooking guys, but they find "nice" girls. Not always typically "goodlooking" because its about inner beauty in the end. there's a problem with society towadays. The normal nice guy is totally un appreciated until all the women start to realise that the "goodlooking" guys can be dicks. Stop hunting the 10s. Their egos are inflated and are more likely to cheat to try and feel better because they are selfish and greedy. Look for more down to earth guys and you will find true happiness. Not saying ugly/out of shape ones but just stop looking for perfection. Perfection darkens the soul and amplifies bad qualities in people that are that way inclined.

NewgodOmega · Answer

You want 666 the devils number is all the guys you date so why are you looking for so called good men

Well you have to understand you get what you look for so called good guys are going extinct faster than you can think and when something don't exist you can't find it no matter who you are what you do

You got all the things you wanted feminism more legal rights then men, sexual freedom zero accountability and responsibilities placed over the other genders

Now you have all that enjoy that. Don't waste a good mens life he is happy alone

RavVid · Answer

Overall sex is all girls are offering now. Or appear to be offering. Not exactly sure. Certainly the hot girl is front and center and girls are representing themselves as sex on a stick.

So guys take it that is what there is. The plain janes might be offering more than the hot girls and more what men want.

Current law doesn't help. I am certainly not going to clock a relationship over 6 months - can't afford to. I am quite conservative by nature and act so.

Overall the world seems to transmogrified into one where neither guys nor girls can get what they want.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Get therapy. You sound like you got some stuff that you could work through and that's ok. You're young, cocky, and need to figure out why someone so freaking fantastically hot as yourself would be dating people like you have stated. There are good men out there fyi but if you come off half as arrogant and self absorbed to people in public as you sound here, you might have a tough time finding anyone better.

That all said, this is straight talk not meant to be cruel, and regardless, I am sorry you've been cheated on. No one deserves that.

rigmarole · Answer

If guys only want sex from you, then you don't have much else to offer. There is a high chance you have a repulsive personality. Physical attraction is what gets people's attention initially. Everything else is what encourages people to stay or leave.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

There are nice and decent guys in the dating world but like anyone, they may have been rejected or let down in the past. Most of the nice and decent men I know who are single are sometimes more quiet, and not as confident to approach women they don't know. Sometimes nice and decent women have to meet them half way.

normalice · Answer

There's no "these days" about it. It has always been this way. Women just weren't in a socioeconomic position to expect men to be "decent" upfront. And instead men policed each other in the most patriarchal way possible: by punishing women if they didn't save themselves for marriage.

blueonblack22 · Answer

At your age this is common. But what is also common is the nice guys out there are invisible to girls like you because they are “boring” and aren’t a challenge.

I have zero doubt you passed up several of them already and probably just call them “guy friends” of some other nonsense.

Anonymous · Answer

To the poster how much does height matter to you because I read the comments of vicious girls on GAG who say I’m not being with a man who isn’t over 6ft. And I tell those women ok well don’t put on makeup show your real beauty, don’t wear heels to look sexier or look taller, don’t get breast implants to make your bust look bigger. The degrading mindset of women and dating has made me not want to pursue girls. I’m 5’8-5’9 and women think that’s not good enough. To the poster I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope you find true love one day.

Raaj4you · Answer

All men need sex. Yes, they are many nice guys who want serious relationship and also sex including me. Girls just need to find a right guy and make him fall in love with her. It's simple, convince him that, I will have lots of sex with you after the engagement or wedding. Don't breakup or runaway from the relationship assuming that the guy is not right for you.

Likes2drive · Answer

I like sex and slim short to average height Women but we can’t always be having sex so most of the time we will actually have to talk and do things together so we better have more in common than just sex because I like to go places and do things. You’re young still so you’re going to come across that a lot with guys your age so until you get older and become more average looking you’re going to attract those guys. Us nice guys don’t get hot girls because it’s too intimidating

NamerOfStars · Answer

Of course there are- they just have the common sense and self-worth to hide from the likes of you.

lirikri4 · Answer

Lol, how do guys "only want sex"?

Because I can't imagine that myself. I'd be thrilled to just talk to a woman. Touching them feels illegal and punishable by God.
I'm always happy if I get to have a conversation with a woman that's longer than 2 minutes. It would mean that she isn't heavily put off by me.

sheikalana · Answer

There are many nice guys out there. I married a very decent man. Women made sex seem easy for guys it’s mostly our fault.

LazerBean · Answer

Ever? Sure, there are some out there. Not that you have access to, but yes there are good men out there who get with women of their own kind

genericname85 · Answer

there are a bunch of them but you don't see them, cause they're not the ones approaching you in the club or the bar. they're the one sitting with their friends, enjoying their evening.

Heolurt · Answer

Because those are the kinds of guys you "ladies" create. When all of you women choose 1 type of guy, all the other guys not having any luck as good guys see who you're all picking and they either give up or they become who you choose. Have fun.

Nikki1989 · Answer

They are out there, but they can be very hard to find. The problem is, most guys will just say what they think you want to hear, so it is hard to decide who are the genuine ones.

Are there EVER any nice, decent guys in the dating world nowadays? Why do most guys just want sex from us ladies?

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Are there EVER any nice, decent guys in the dating world nowadays? Why do most guys just want sex from us ladies?

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