Girls, Why aren’t there any decent men nowadays?

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people keep asking me why I’m still single. Why haven’t I found a man yet.
Well most guys nowadays don’t want to get to know someone or want to play around. I’m autistic so it makes dating a lot harder for me and I’m a woman. Plus I’m tall (5’9), plus size 16/18W and 220lbs. My parents never liked any of the boyfriends I had. I think it’s the non autistic men that they didn’t like. I only was on a relationship with only one of them. My first boyfriend had ADHD and he was a jerk.
My best friend said the neurotypical people don’t understand us and why do I keep chasing after men that will break my heart. She said neurotypical men will break our hearts and it’s better that we stick with neurodivergent men because they’re better for us. Depress on their personality. Plus most of those those cute, good looking neurotypical men aren’t going to go for autistic women like us. They’ll take advantage. Be realistic and find a man that is loyal, that notices me for me and not for my size or what I have.
She told me this, “You deserve to be with someone that notices you for YOU. Also someone that understands you especially since it’s hard enough to be special needs and we’re autistic and we’re NEVER going to be normal. We’re just better of dating autistic men or other neurodivergent men because like I said neurotypical men will NOT understand us and break our hearts. Stop going after tense jerks and pay attention to men that likes me. Someone like………(let’s call him Dustin).” That’s my guy friend. He isn’t my type at all or attractive and I need someone more independent. He isn’t the right man for me. He’s autistic also and never dated other girls not that I know off.
What am I supposed to do?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Men have been told their entire lives that women will serve them in their relationships, they go in with that expectation based on generations past. Those past generations had a massive power imbalance, grandma wasn’t able to get any kind of real job, let alone a bank account in her name. Mom was still pressured into being a homemaker while grandpa and dad both just did their jobs, got the paycheck, and then used that as an excuse to not be active in their parenting, calling it “babysitting” instead of fatherhood. Our generation of women is the first where we can reasonably have the expectation of real equality, and they can’t measure up to being anything other than mediocre because no one taught them how.

[Anonymous]

If your goal is to be with someone neurtypical do it. But understand yes most neurotypical will not want to be with someone whose autistic. Most men these days just want sex. But it could be possible to find someone worth while. I say do what you want and don't let anyone hinder you. Your sister is just looking out for you

[Asker]

So who am I supposed to date? Only autistic men? I can’t limit myself to only autistic men. Why won’t neurotypical people date us? It’s not fair. Even my parents prefer me to date a man that’s similar to me and just stick with autistic men. Just because my best friend only dates neurodivergent men doesn’t mean I should only stick with them?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I said that. Do what you want but not many neurodivergents may want someone autistic. People don't like what they can't understand. They don't want autistic children? Its hurtful i know. You deserve someone who will love you. Go find it.

[Opinion Owner]

Neurotypical*

[Asker]

Maybe I should just stay single. I don’t want autistic kids either. I know hypocritical but I don’t want that either. I’m staying single because no man wants me. My sister is neurotypical and she has a man. She’s been with him for seven years and got married in 2021. Now she’s having her first child. She’s having a girl. I’m so happy for her but I’m also jealous because I may never have that happiness she has. I’m autistic.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you seen the show love on the spectrum? Its a beautiful show

[Opinion Owner]

Its off topic but you may want to consider it

[Asker]

Yes I have

[Asker]

I’m not doing it. I should not have to limit myself to only autistic men.

[Opinion Owner]

Well dont!!

[trumpetplayerforlife]

It's happens when you aren't looking ik everyone says that but it's true I found my now husband when I stopped looking for a partner and he's everything I could hope for

[Asker]

I’m glad you found your happiness. I hope I find mine soon. I’m sick of people telling me to stick with neurodivergent men.

[Nikki1989]

They still exist, but it does take some searching and some good luck in finding one.