My “dating” life SUCKS! Why does it seem like all the hot guys only want sex from me, but all the guys I don’t find attractive want something serious?

[Anonymous]

I’m clearly NOT my types “type”. Don’t get me wrong tho , because hot attractive guys DO approach me… as do the unattractive ones, as a matter of fact.. any man i EVER dated , talked to , in a relationship with , slept with , or even flirted with etc … ALLL approached me FIRST. And it’s actually more attractive people than unattractive , it’s just once i get to know a guy i think looks good, his intentions are almost always sexual ONLY. Witch is OK because I’m sexually attracted to them as well, but I actually want something MEANINGFUL TOO. Where as the ugly guys always try way harder to fight for my attention. I want to assume that the hot guys actually treat ALL their women like this , because they know they have lots of options, but at the same time … I’m not sure if it’s personal. What do u guys think?

[MrOracle]

I say this over and over again, and I get plenty of hate for it, but you are proving me true.

Nearly all girls today want - and pursue almost exclusively - the top 10% guys, with looks playing a large role in that rating. But girls don't seem to realize the impact of that choice. Those men have nearly EVERY woman available to him, because each and every one of them thinks that SHE is going to be the special one that changes him from a player into a faithful boyfriend or husband - but those guys have NO reason to settle down with any one girl. Why have one when you can have 100 or 1000? There are rare - RARE - exceptions to this, but this is all you or any other woman is going to get from the vast majority of these hot guys.

You can pursue these guys, moving from guy to guy, and, yeah, you'll live their high lifestyle for a while, and go to some parties and maybe some vacations, but you are going to be disposable and replaceable to most of them.

You've been trained to expect to get this kind of guy by society and especially by social media, by having what seems to be access to the hottest men all over the world - but there are 100 women for every one of those hot guys, and even after they run through the first 100, they can move to the next 100 that the next hot guy has already had. And then the next.

You are free to pursue who you want, but you should be very clear about what you are likely to get if that's who you pursue, because it's easy to fool yourself because you WANT to believe, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.

If you pick a man based on his looks, and not on his morals and values, you would be a fool to believe that you will have a good long-term outcome.

[TruthBringer]

I wouldn't be surprised if this will go straight over her head as it does with the majority of (young) women who get told this. I can tell, this is one of those posts where they want validation and pity rather than actual advice or enlightenment...

[Asker]

Thank you for breaking it down like that. In so many words what your saying kinda aligns with what i said. As i get older i realize that looks aren’t everything. They fade… I’m giving you MHO 😊

[MrOracle]

@BriaToWet That's right. A good-looking person is exciting - I'm a man, and I understand the pull of a good-looking woman, so I understand your desires - but no matter how good he looks, or how smooth he is or how popular he is, if what you really want is a relationship, and there's no way you're going to get it, will his good looks or hot body make you feel better about it? Not for long.

The media teaches you to have unrealistic expectations - to expect to GET and to KEEP the hot guy, because that's what happens in the movies and the TV shows and the commercials. But they are manipulating you to sell you things - the clothing and beauty industry especially. And as long as you keep buying, they don't care if you're getting ran through by guys and never having a relationship - that actually works in their favor, because they'll keep being able to sell you the dress or the lipstick or the hair coloring that will solve that problem for you (though, of course, it won't).

[MrOracle]

And the worst is social media. People make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year posting beautiful pics of (very often fake/made up) dreams and telling everyone it's real - the homes, the cars, the boats, the planes, the travel, etc. And even if some percentage of it is real, it's a very, VERY small percentage, and they never tell you the REST of the story. You never see behind the curtain.

At least you seem open-minded enough to realize that what you are doing isn't working. And if you look around at the other women around you doing the same thing, you'll realize it isn't working for them either. Maybe 1 in 10,000 women get lucky - for a while - but those dreams - those real-life fairy tales - are mostly a lie.

[Staximus]

You're not the brightest bulb on the Hanukkah bush, are you? You're just figuring this out now? I think it's time for you to grow the fuck up, you're not in high school anymore. Shallow school girls look for "cute" and "hot" first, adult women look for guys who are not pieces of shit and not bums. It's time for you to start looking for more meaningful qualities in guys than appearance or that's all you'll ever get. You're just going to be another piece of ass to "Mr hot" who has 5 more superficial girls like you on the side throwing themselves at him.

[coachTanthony]

What @MrOracle said lol

[MCheetah]

This seems like trolling. You're spoiled AF, you only talk to Chads who don't want to settle down, and you then have the audacity to complain about good men being too short/ugly/broke for your sh*tty garbage standards? You can't be f*ckin' serious.

Unless this is a troll post, you 100% deserve to be alone. You're not even young. Or attractive looking. You've got like, five years left, max, before hitting The Wall, and you still have the dating mentality of a bratty 19 year old. No substance whatsoever, and you don't seem to bring a single worthy quality (not even looks) to a relationship. Why TF would ANY quality man want you?

@KrakenAttackin, @TruthBringer, am I wrong here or misreading anything?

[TruthBringer]

It's kind of hard to tell whether this is a troll or not because this website is loaded with trolls. But then again, her issue isn't a unique one. Many (young) women complain about this very thing where the dudes they want only want them for pleasure.

Perhaps you've been a bit harsh on her from the get-go, but you're not wrong either, MCheetah. It is indeed often a self-created issue. The power is actually in her hands. She can just choose not to sleep with any guy who she deems as attractive unless they commit. She will have to be patient in seeing a lot of "hot" guys go until she actually finds one decent enough to dat her for real. 'Hot' guys always have an abundance of options and that's why they don't feel like settling. Whereas the less desirable guys who want her don't have that.

She either checks her standards she sets for men and lowers them to a more realistic level, or she can continue getting used by the guys she wants. Because let's not forget, whether she realizes or not, the fact they don't want to settle for her is part of the reason why she is attracted to them.

[Asker]

It’s not a troll, you don’t even know what i look like to even say that firstly , secondly clearly the people who look WAYYY better than you don’t seem to think that, because no one is approaching some one they don’t find at least slightly attractive, and lastly i think i have a lot to offer. You’re a statistic, a fat obese un attractive black man, yet your telling me i don’t have the look when people who look a million times better than you say otherwise …. If anyone is the troll it’s you, you couldn’t get me on your best day. Humble yourself

[MCheetah]

@BriaToWet
I might have actually cared about any of that if you weren't a spoiled about-to-be 30 something who still acts like she's in high school and has the arrogance of a ten with the looks and assets of a 4. Yep. Your personality sucks and you've got 4 years left before it's all over for you. Good luck with all that.

[Asker]

By that logic it’s already over for you? Your about to be 40! I’m still in my twenties …. I never said no was a perfect ten, no one is…. but you on the other hand? Your old , and obese …. No quality woman would ever want you …. Only the ones who want your money , no one will love you for YOU. Have a good day

[MCheetah]

@BriaToWet
'K.

[HighValue]

The attractive guys that want a relationship DO have lots of options so they often won't accept a woman that has a past of casual sex. There is the answer. Have casual sex = attractive relationship oriented guys will lose interest in you. Actions/decisions have consequences. The past is unchangeable.

[FilmGuy93]

The piece of advice I always give to women in your position is to take a look at what you lead with in your interactions with men. How do you meet men? Where do you meet men? What do you do to connect with men once you start talking?

Many times, the reason men only want sex is because they haven't been given anything else to connect with besides your physical beauty.

[Anonymous]

What @MrOracle said...

The reason why most women don't understand this is simply because they don't want to...

When all is said and done. You grow old with a personality, not a face. And this coming from someone that looks half their age and is very attractive with baby soft skin!

[Cuddlekisser]

I am super smart, super rich (thanks to the first fact) and super romantic, but you will never learn about that because I am just looking like the typical sub-average dude top girls like you would never date (a few kilos too much).

[Anonymous]

Because those hot guys can and do like with a new women every day or possibly more than that
Why would they settle down and stop spreading their seed as nature intended

The 'unattractive' guys will settle down and be unlikely to cheat generally

[KlinkyCoder]

Sadly, it is extremely rare for either gender to get both in the same package. And men have the different burden of having to do the approaching. The dating market is so maladaptive today.

[BJP21]

Pick the guy, that meets your standards, but also, be realistic about what you want. I would lean more toward the guy that treats right.

[anylolone]

What are you offering besides sex?

Also, hot guys can basically fuck and date anyone they want, they aren't fucking only you.

[Anonymous]

Who said you're sexualy attractive?
I chased sex because I have many options.

[Asker]

The people that’s out here approaching me obviously , can you read?

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣