Lets say dad is the only breadwinner in the family, dad dies. Mom has no skills to support the family. What is going to happen to the family? They die. Or if they are lucky enough to not die, they will be in a terribly dire situation scrambling to save their own lives trying to live on as little as they can.
There is no security to a single bread winner household. Especially if the mom is uneducated, and has no skills
Well... To begin with, a household with a working husband, a housewife, and happy children is a bit of an idyllic one. The word "breadwinner", by the very literal meaning of itself, destroys this idyllic image from the start.
To support a "housewife model", the husband has to be much more than a breadwinner. He must earn enough to not only cater for all the current needs of the family, but to also stack up significant savings (or better - cautious, smart investments). Now, if the husband's profession allows him to reach that goal, having a stay-at-home wife will help him a lot to make full use of this potential. If they share all the chores, he will most likely earn less than he could if he focused only on earning money, and the wife focused on taking care of the house and children, thus reducing the financial status of the family as a whole. Now, mind You, by "focused only on earning money", I mean a regular, 8-hour workday, with full 2-day weekends free. Otherwise, it would detract from the idyllic image again, as the family would barely know their father in such a case. OK, I guess a few workdays a month could be extended to 10 hours, but only for a truly enticing wage.
Now, if we can fit all these requirements, there is a significant security in the form of the savings and investments. But in a real-life situation, it's not the only beacon of hope. No healthy family is exactly two generations deep and one household wide. People do have their connections, and in case of a serious need, they can reach out to further relatives for help. OK, now I think I should have called it "an open-world scenario" rather than "a real-life situation", as the real life can be truly disappointing. With the demographic recession, the family trees are seriously inadequate, and it might actually be hard to reach out to further relatives for help. If You were a member of a family where setting up this idyllic "working husband and housewife" household would even be possible, it's likely You would be blessed with enough relatives to actually be confident in this extended security. Now, this kind of mutual help in a happy family has to work vertically, as well, with elderly parents getting actual support from their children if needed. For this, we need empathy, and I do admit it's terrifyingly scarce these days.
But what if the husband cannot provide as great of a financial surplus through his job? Well... The family might still be able to rely on relatives, but it's definitely a much darker scenario, and a terrifyingly common one at that. In this case, the wife might be inclined to work part-time to help generate this surplus. This puts a little to a lot more stress on the whole structure of the household, but if this state is temporary, it can more likely than not be passed through with minimal mental health losses.
Now... Why do people (especially men) like the idea of having a housewife so much? My answer would be - it's simply motivational. If I know that as I return home, I will have my time to recharge, most commonly including a meal well-suited to making me ready for the next day of work... I'm going to be motivated to do whatever I can to support this state. Taking care of tedious everyday stuff is tiring. And I guess it's especially tiring for men. One. Single. Mind-rotting. Task. At. A time. It's usually hard to effectively execute them in parallel, with most attempts only adding another irritating problem of chaos. Now, if a wife can safely stay at home and do all these tasks over the course of the husband's workday, they are less irritating and mind-rotting than if they had to be done in half (or quarter) the time. Women are also said to be more skilled at multitasking, You know. It's not about the wife being forced to stay at home and take care of a lazy husband's every need. It's about a couple supporting each other - while the wife takes care of nutrition, everyday house-wide hygiene and all the other simple, but occasionally a little mind-rotting tasks, the husband does his absolute best to support this lifestyle with not just enough money to survive on, but with enough money to be able to save for when the world turns upside down. And this still leaves the couple and the entire family with about 8 hours (OK, realistically it will be less, as the commute does steal a bit of that time - the closer the workplace, the better) to nurture their family bonds during the weekdays, which sounds a lot like a recipe for a perfect, happy family.
its a very unstable , insecure living. Once the breadwinner is gone, the kids will be starving. the mom will be in deep shit
In the model I described, it's perfectly fine. And mind You, it's not like the wife is forbidden from having any skills allowing her to work, it's just that in the marriage, she decides to stay at home. Sure, sometimes she won't have any, but... It's not a requirement.
most stay home moms are uneducated and never had skills.
Plus even if she did have an education and skills 10-25 years ago, it won't matter to employers because it would be long forgotten
[ If I know that as I return home, I will have my time to recharge, most commonly including a meal well-suited to making me ready for the next day of work...]
it is actually the opposite. Most breadwinners are the most miserable, sterssed out individuals I've ever met.
This relaxed breadwinner is what you expect but never actually happens in reality.
When you know your entire family will die if you lose your job, this places immense pressure on you.
When you are paying for not only yourself but also 3-4 other people, this makes you POOR. You can be a financially well off single man with no kids but after a wife and 2-3 kids, you are absolutely broke.
Most dads who are single breadwinners are the most miserable, stressed out people you will ever meet.
Don't think that your life will get better with a housewife. You won't be happy unless you are rich. Housewife is something only the rich can afford. By this I mean, at least 150k a year.
[it is actually the opposite. Most breadwinners are the most miserable, sterssed out individuals I've ever met.]
Well... If they are breadwinners of this "I hope we survive" category, that's absolutely understandable, they are not capable of earning enough to support this model, it's all in my main opinion. If they earned enough to have savings, they would be fine, or even more than fine with a housewife.
Also, if I have a family and some savings, I'm far from "broke". The well-being of my family is a good in itself, and one of few to be truly proud of.
Savings mean nothing. Because once those kids are born, you will find that your savings will be rapidly depleted over the first 5 years the kids are born. Then you will find the kids grow into teenagers which will be even more expensive. Kids eat more as they grow bigger, they might demand things like video games/ play station/ coolest fashion styles, giving your wife / 3 kids each an allowance every month, you might buy a house, you might need to start saving for retirement, you might need to pay your 3 kid's college tuition.
stop living in your dreams and start living in reality. Life is expensive. A modest saving is not going to do it.
but does it really matter if you're financially stable?
once you lose your job, have cancer, get injured, your family will be on their way to starvation to death.
your wife can't support the kids.
Pray hard that you won't lose your life or your job or get injured.
I have recently seen a family who lost the dad , the only breadwinner in the family. Now the mom is desperately begging the state to give her more money.
That's bad planning or lack of opportunities. I'm describing a situation where it is possible. It's not really this fantastic, it can be set up in our reality. Even though... I do admit it's going to be hard.
Many people see kids who see less of their mother as a form of abuse.
I'm going to tell you that growing up under poverty is also a form of abuse.
Kids who grow up in financially stable homes tend to do better in life every at every age compared to kids who grow up under financially insecure conditions.
kids who grow up under financially stable parents tend to be more educated, financially secure as adults, and overall, more successful in life.
Where there's no financial opportunity, enforcing the housewife system is bare stupidity. Though I think kids who grow up in slightly financially challenged homes can grow up to be extremely crafty, and maybe much more humane than those who grow in affluent homes. And they can get successful, too. Have You heard about El Chapo? He grew up in a slightly financially challenged home. Is he evil? Depends on Your take. Was he successful? Yeah. Absolutely.
Generational poverty is a very complex social issue. It generally occurs when the parents of children neglect to provide them with an education or resources necessary to break out of the cycle, instead often passing down their deprived childhoods to their children.
www.hcdf.org/.../reasons-why-generational-poverty-continues-within-families-and-communities
We find that individuals who grow up in poor families are much more likely to be poor in early adulthood. Moreover, the chances of being poor in early adulthood increase sharply as the time spent living in poverty during childhood increases.
www.nccp.org/.../
when you do not have enough money to send your child to college, your child will likely lead a life of poverty. when you cannot afford to send your child to any job training, it is likely your child will lead a life of poverty.
Rare exceptions do not make the rule.
It is obvious that a child's well being is not your priority. No parent who wants the best for their child will think it is a better idea for the child to be without a decent education , unprepared for life. And these are the consequences of "stay home moms".
Your mom stayed home, refused to work so now you need to tell your child that you cannot pay for their education/ trade school.
In reality at a certain level of wealth a life insurance is a given. So that is a level of security. The second being the assets the family has.
While they would be worse off, it is unlikely they would be in trouble right away.
I don't think people normallt glorify housewives. If people do, it is likely because it requires a level of success to begin with.
The number of housewives has dropped sharply. Mostly because income has dropped even more.
Lastly most housewives tend to still have some skills. And often know many people, which is generally just as important if not more than a proper education and trained skills in a profession.
I actually read about a mother and 2 young kids strugglin really hard to survive after the death of the breadwinner of their family. I just feel so bad for them.
[Lastly most housewives tend to still have some skills.]
skills like what? dish washing and toilet cleaning?
can you support kids off of maid work?
can most families afford to pay life insurance?
If you can't afford life insurance you also can not afford having only one person work.
Some skills as in, they were not always a housewife. They likely have a hobby. An education. Something they have done. Many housewives while opposed to working likes to have a business. It is common enough.
Of course we can pull singular examples of when it went horribly wrong. And we can pull examples of when the guy disappeared and she was all fine too.
What should matter is what happens most of the time, and most of the time there is a compromise in living quality but life carries on.
Cleaning isn't a bad skill to have. What will suffice and what skill she has normally have a link.
Here is the problem with life insurance. Most families are living paycheck to paycheck without any money to spare towards the end of the money. If you pay 100-300 of life insurance every month for 10 years, you die. Your spouse may not even be left with enough money to survive. Sure, you may receive anywhere from 100k to 150 but will that be enough to sustain survival for the rest of their lives?
[What should matter is what happens most of the time, and most of the time there is a compromise in living quality but life carries on.]
you're acting as if kids starving, being thrown out onto the street , begging for money, looking through the trash cans for breakfast, kids being raised in a homeless shelter is nothing but just a deterioration in living quality. really? so you're saying this is not a tragedy but just a deterioration in living quality? should kids be treated this way? Let me force you out on the streets and starve and beg. let me see your reaction
[Cleaning isn't a bad skill to have. What will suffice and what skill she has normally have a link.]
oh really? maid work being paid 8 dollars an hour is enough to support a fully grown adult and 3 kids?
Why would they not be, as opposed to a woman who chooses her job over her career over her kids when she doesn't need to? That womans kids end up with the short end of the stick even without the unlikely even of her husband dying, meanwhile the situation you're complaining about is rare.
Because any decent person knows that kids starving is never something any kid should go through. Me having to explain this to you shows you do not give a shit about children
Even if dying isn't rare, the family will be in deep shit even if dad broke his leg and can't work ever again or dies of cancer.
How many kids can you name from your town that have starved from this situation? That simply does not happen on any sort of significant scale, it's just a fantasy you made up. My dad was a sole provider growing up, and we were never in danger of starving. He was out for a little while because he broke his foot, and it made no difference in my life. You shouldn't make things up to justify that you love your job and status more than your kids.
@lazerbean
well clearly you don't give a shit about your kids if you think risking your kids starving to death is a good idea
I actually read about a mother and 2 young kids strugglin really hard to survive after the death of the breadwinner of their family. I just feel so bad for them.
I believe women like the idea of not having to work yet still having everything she needs and wants provided for her.
And men like the idea of not having to cook, clean, or deal with the kids very much.
I actually read about a mother and 2 young kids strugglin really hard to survive after the death of the breadwinner of their family. I just feel so bad for them.
Opinion
6Opinion
Housewives are definitely not glorified especially by feminist.. The opposite actually.. But if the husband has a good enough job to have a stay at home wife, but he would have things prepared to take care of her for a while in case he did die.. At lot of housewives sometimes have part time jobs as well.. As was the case in the 50s..
its a very unstable , insecure living. Once the breadwinner is gone, the kids will be starving. the mom will be in deep shit
Well both parents working all the time is not exactly a stable model for raising healthy kids either.. Of course that's why putting things in savings works well.. In this day and age a man would need to be making great money to even have a stay at home work.. Or military where they will take care of the family if the husband should died.. They could also go on Welfare for a time til the wife is able to get back on her feet as well..
reality is.. majority of families live pay check to paycheck even with both parents working. what will savings do? once those savings run out... your uneducated single mom will still be struggling to survive with her 3 kids. You can go on welfare due to desperate poverty but is starving your kids really a good way to raise them?
That's why I said these days a man that could provide for a woman to stay at home has a good job or is in the military.. Not living pay check to check.. Also plenty of stay at home wives are educated and can probably get a job.. If they choose that path, they obviously worked it out somehow.. And welfare for only a bit til they would be able to get off their feet..
Vast majority of stay home moms are uneducated women with no skills.
truth is... career women only stay home for a few years after the kids are born to take care of them prior to sending them to kindergarten. but after the kids hit kindergarten, she goes back to work.
uneducated women with no career tend to be stay home wives because they have nothing to lose other than their crappy job.
educated women who make decent amount of money, pulled out loans to obtain a great career have a lot to lose by becoming stay home moms.
I'mma need some stats on that.. But there's a reason there's so few women "at the top" it's because they would rather spend time with family then "have a career".. What even is a career anyways? Just working all the time.. You could say "what if she died" also in case of the kids.. It's an off the cuff silly hypothetical.. If the Husband has a job where death is highly unlikely the chances of him dying are slim..
About one-in-ten mothers with a Master’s degree or more are staying at home in order to care for their family, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of census data.
www.pewresearch.org/.../
[If the Husband has a job where death is highly unlikely the chances of him dying are slim..]
what if he does die? the entire family will die along with him. They will be on the streets, living in homeless shelters
[You could say "what if she died" also in case of the kids..]
if the mom died, the father can still support the kids. if the husband dies, the kids die along with him due to starvation. I can tell you don't care about the kids well being. You just like promoting the idea of stay home mom.
Stay-at-home moms are poorer, less educated than working moms: Stay-at-home mothers are younger, poorer and less educated than their working peers
www.pewresearch.org/.../
"if the mom died, the father can still support the kids. if the husband dies, the kids die along with him due to starvation. I can tell you don't care about the kids well being. You just like promoting the idea of stay home mom."
Actually I was talking about a single mother raising children and working.. You could very well say the same thing about her.. What if she died.. What would happen to the children relying on her.. What if both parents died.. It could very well happen.. I'm just defending stay at home moms.. I don't care one way or another to particularly be a breadwinner.. Which is hard in this economy.. You're going based off a silly hypothetical that could go many ways..
@joshydavid25
its actually better for the stay home mother to die than for the bread winner to die. Because if the stay home mom dies, the kids will still get their bellies fed well every night.
if the breadwinner dies, the stay home mom will not be able to support the kids. she and her kids will die off.
Single motherhood is often an unavoidable circumstance. Its not usually something somebody aspire to become.
A single breadwinner family is the same as a single mother family. Because the kids will die off if the single breadwinner dies.
There is no stability to a single breadwinner family. Lets face it. You better pray on your bed every night that you won't lose your job otherwise, your entire family will be gone.
Actually read what i am writing. it doesn't seem like you are.
"Actually read what i am writing. it doesn't seem like you are."
I was actually thinking that about you.. I was saying you could give the same hypothetical for a single mother and her kids.. If she dies its an even worse situation.. Pointing out how silly it is to use hypotheticals like it..
@joshydavid25
thats why its better to have 2 parents who can adequately provide for the family.
there's not really much of a difference between a single breadwinner family versus a single mother family.
you call these hypotheticals silly because you are offended by them
when you have two parents who can adequately provide, the risk of your kids starving to death is very low. When you have a single breadwinner, the chances of kids starving to death is pretty high. If the single breadwinner can no longer walk or has cancer or can't find another job, the entire family goes down
The point of a two parent household was for the father to go out and get the resources while the mother stayed home and took care of the house.. That's why a Two parent household is better than one.. And that's why the father being a breadwinner worked.. I'm not offended just disagreeing with you.. I don't mind if my wife preferred to work.. I was just saying you're coming to the conclusion that there's a perfect way here.. If both parents work neither can adequately be there for the kids.. Unless one works more hours than the other..
@joshydavid25
I don't think any parent who truly wants the best for their kids will pick a single breadwinner household over a 2 breadwinner household.
There are massive consequences for kids who grow up under financially unstable households.
A single Breadwinner making great money is definitely not a financially unstable household.. But I agree These days unfortunately it's better for a financially secure household that both parents are bringing in some money..
[A single Breadwinner making great money is definitely not a financially unstable household]
being in denial about the truth , doesn't make the truth disappear.
reality is... single breadwinner family has no way of sending kids to college / job training once it turns 18. They simply do not have the resources to prepare kids for the real world.
A breadwinner is winning the bread for the family.. In this economy there can't be a single bread I agree.. But I imagine most single breadwinners can afford to do it securely.. Of course there are some where the wife is either just lazy or can't get a job for reasons that are out of her control. I personally wouldn't care to be a breadwinner.. I don't mind that my wife would work.. Even though I do wanna take care of her and the kids.
23% of Single-Income Households More Likely to Struggle Paying Bills
www.pymnts.com/.../
Breadwinning Mothers Are Critical to Families’ Economic Security
www.americanprogress.org/.../
Well it's not like I didn't agree with you. I said these days if a mam can be a breadwinner he's most likely making good money.. How many women are even housewives today anyways? Probably not as many that are working.
Man**..
@joshydavid25
[ said these days if a mam can be a breadwinner he's most likely making good money.]
there was a link that just said... single breadwinner households are more likely to struggle paying bills.
Report says 60% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkRXebcllo8
I dont know what makes you think that most single breadwinner families are well off.
seems like you just make up random facts and insist they are real.
60% of families live paycheck to paycheck. does that sound like most families are well off?
I'm not making up any random facts.. All I'm saying most families don't have a single breadwinner because most can't afford that nowadays.. So if somebody is a single breadwinner it's probably more likely they could be making good money.. Most families where the parents are still together are most likely not single breadwinner families.. The mother is most likely working also..
I think you're pretty naive. I know plenty of single breadwinner households who struggle of money real bad. And its usually because they know it wouldn't make a huge difference if the wife worked or not. Usually these are women who work minimum wage jobs.
I didn't say that there were any of even that there weren't a decent number of single breadwinner households.. Just that these days both couples usually work more times than not.. Unless it's a certain part of the country, housewives don't seem to be in demand..
Or even**..
single breadwinners tend to be one of the most miserable men I've ever encountered. This is true if the family is not at least upper middle class.
I have a guy friend who is the single breadwinner of his household : ex wife and 2 kids.
Now the illegal immigrants have taken up most of the trade jobs in his area. They were willing to work for significantly lower pay than the Americans (like him). Thus making his hourly wage decrease from 50 to 34 an hr. Now, he is worried that the recent influx of illegal immigrants will cause him to LOSE HIS JOB. Employers favor the illegal immigrants because they are willing to work lower pay such as 19-20 per hr.
He cannot support his family making just 19-20 an hr.
Now he is just in deep shit trying to figure out how to make more money. He is now working 2 jobs and barely have time to see his kids.
his ex wife stays home with the kids because she would have no way of adequately supporting the family even if she did go back to work. she makes minimum wage.
I knew of a firefighter who was killed while he was on a vacation trip with his family. A heavy huge tree branch broke and fell on top of him. He died instantly. His wife and 2 kids survived. His wife was a housewife, hadn't worked in 20 years. Since his death was not considered an "line of duty" death as a firefighter, the state would not give his family his full firefighting benefits. Currently his family is begging the state to give them more money. She has no way of supporting the kids... Their house is about to be foreclosed on.
I can't imagine why anyone would put themselves at risk for such a tragic end.
As you can see... you're not far from a tragic end... if you're a single breadwinner family.
One little thing goes wrong... you are SCREWED.
They were willing to work for significantly lower pay than the Americans (like him). "Thus making his hourly wage decrease from 50 to 34 an hr. Now, he is worried that the recent influx of illegal immigrants will cause him to LOSE HIS JOB."
Something is off about that.. If he was making that much, that means he had the skills important enough to warrant such a good pay.. That's almost 6 figures.. Immigrants can't just come in and make his wages lower like that.. Otherwise he could go and find another job that'll appreciate his skillset..
@joshydavid25
If there were 1 position , you demanded 50 an hr. Illegal immigrant can do the same job for 19 to 20. Which would you rather hire? Of course you would have to try to lower it to have a chance at getting the job
Why would employer pay 50 to hire someone when they can hire someone for 19?
If somebody is getting paid 50hrs for a position.. That means it's not an easy position to replace. It's a very high skilled position.. Which means immigrants couldn't just come and replace something like that. With skills like that he could also just find a company that will pay him.. Even if it's somewhere else.. Cause that mean he has the skills worth the pay.. Although I agree with you about the Illegal immigrant thing generally..
@joshydavid25
doesn't matter if it's highly skilled or not. If an illegal immigrant just as highly skilled is offering to do the job for cheaper, the employer will always hire the cheaper labor. So if you keep insisting on 50 an hr, you will never find a job. There are simply too many illegal immigrants willing to work for less
doesn't matter if you dont like this, this is how to job market works
50 an hr is not enough to raise children in nyc. It is nothing in nyc.
For example, there are 2 plumbers who are equally as experienced. The mexian plumber is charging 100. The white American charge 200. Which one would you hire?
Not that hard
Don't think the illegals can't be skilled at what they do. In nyc, theyve taken over most trade jobs over the past decade
Yeah but 50 an hr is high skill though.. Meaning skills you were taught through a 2 year program or something like that.. Illegals can't just come in having skills like that.. They'll have to go to school for them.. Which admittedly some do..
@joshydavid25
he's a carpenter. he never went to trade school. he just worked as an apprentice for a couple of years then made 50 an hour (10 years ago). Now his hourly wage is 34
he says 90% of the people he works with are latin immigrants from other countries.
Well he might as well went to school if he was under an mentorship for his job.. Meaning he still trained.. But I guess I can understand that immigrants can get trained as well and work for lower wages.. At least based on what you said, I'm guessing that that's what happens..
trade school is not the only way to learn trade work. As long as you can find someone to teach you, you will learn how to do it. Illegal immigrants tend to work as assistants or laborers to tradesman for many years, after a bit of seniority they get the privilege of being taught how to do the trade, then after years later they end up mastering it.
This is all for free but takes many years.
You can learn faster in trade school but its more expensive and shorter in length.
My friend is depressed because he is sole breadwinner to his family. He is paying too much for rent that simply does not have enough money to provide his family a decent life. His wife doesn't have any skills to make any money even if she went back to work. He was behind on the bills this month because he spent money for his ex wife to take a vacation with the kids to see her family in Armenia.
Marrying a woman who can make decent money is an asset, it should never be disregarded.
Men claim they don't care about how much a woman makes but you will only regret it after the kids are born.
Well, yeah you just told me he did a mentorship for a couple of years.. I didn't know they actually taught them the trade and then paid them less because they aren't legal.. Kinda sleezy if you ask me.. But he can still take his skills elsewhere and try and find a job.. Or his wife could simply spend a couple of years in school and get a new skill.. Especially if she's home all day..
"Men claim they don't care about how much a woman makes but you will only regret it after the kids are born."
We don't.. Most men would rather take care of the woman and children.. You're talking like many women today don't work.. Most do..
@joshydavid25
easy to say you love a woman who stays home, when you don't have 4 mouths to feed.
just wait till you have 4-5 people to feed off your existing income, you will be absolutely broke.
[But he can still take his skills elsewhere and try and find a job.. ]
34 dollars an hr is considered "high" for his area. He can't afford to move to another state because he doesn't have enough money to buy a car.
[Or his wife could simply spend a couple of years in school and get a new skill.. Especially if she's home all day..]
can they afford to pay for a couple of years of school.
it doesn't seem like you're talking about life in reality here, you're just talking out of your imagination.
this is not your imagination, it is about real life.
[We don't.. Most men would rather take care of the woman and children.. ]
just wait till you have to work 7 days a week with no day off just to be able to afford to take care of the woman and children. lets see how miserable you will be.
because that is exactly what this dad is doing. He works everyday with no day off.
"easy to say you love a woman who stays home, when you don't have 4 mouths to feed.
just wait till you have 4-5 people to feed off your existing income, you will be absolutely broke."
I've seen how it was with my mother.. We struggled growing up.. Even though she had a decent job.. I've said multiple times I don't care for a stay at home wife.. We don't live in the 50's where the economy could accommodate that.
"34 dollars an hr is considered "high" for his area. He can't afford to move to another state because he doesn't have enough money to buy a car."
He can't? He must live in an upper middle class area then.. Spending more than he can afford.. Or maybe it's his wife.. You can live fairly comfortably on that income if you manage money well..
"can they afford to pay for a couple of years of school."
She could go to a special school, and pay off the debt later.. They usually don't cost that much.. Or to a community college..
"it doesn't seem like you're talking about life in reality here, you're just talking out of your imagination.
this is not your imagination, it is about real life."
Plenty of people get up in life because they make great decisions and work from there.
Like I mentioned, I'm not looking to be the sole provider of my family.. I just said we would rather take care of the women and children.. It's in our nature.. But that's a lot of overtime.. Maybe they need to downsize..
[He can't? He must live in an upper middle class area then.. Spending more than he can afford.. Or maybe it's his wife.. You can live fairly comfortably on that income if you manage money well..]
how do you go make random assumptions? he lives in NYC. One of the most expensive cities in the world. You won't be able to support a family here with even 50 an hr.
[She could go to a special school, and pay off the debt later.. They usually don't cost that much.. Or to a community college..]
who is going to lend to someone with bad credit? nobody!
they have bad credit and are also late on the bills. His ex wife (who he lives with) doesn't like to live frugally off of nothing. She wants to live a decent life but he cannot afford it for her. he's depressed due to financial issues right now.
[I just said we would rather take care of the women and children.. It's in our nature.. ]
realize that your life will be even worse if you try to "take care of your wife and kids" working 7 days a week with no day off. We aren't talking about living in your own imagination here, we are talking about reality.
If the typical average joe wants to support a wife and kids, he will need to be working 2 jobs to be able to do that. Imagine working 2 jobs for the next 25 years just to support those kids to adulthood / college.
what is the pride in being able to "support a family" if your wife and kids are suffering trying to survive on the bare minimum?
this should not be able your own self pride being more important than your family's well being.
"how do you go make random assumptions? he lives in NYC. One of the most expensive cities in the world. You won't be able to support a family here with even 50 an hr."
You then went on to say that he can't afford his ex wife's lifestyle, and why is he still providing a lifestyle for her? Geez.. But I'm just saying what the reason might be..
"who is going to lend to someone with bad credit? nobody!
they have bad credit and are also late on the bills. His ex wife (who he lives with) doesn't like to live frugally off of nothing. She wants to live a decent life but he cannot afford it for her. he's depressed due to financial issues right now."
Yeah, it's called financial aid.. Credit doesn't matter.. Since the cost of Community college is so small they basically give you money based on your financial status.. To help you.. Or there's get paid as you learn programs..
"realize that your life will be even worse if you try to "take care of your wife and kids" working 7 days a week with no day off. We aren't talking about living in your own imagination here, we are talking about reality."
Well, you're assuming I would live in an expensive place like New York with a family.. Or that I would have 4 kids to take care of.. I could very well have a modest living in the suburbs for a decent priced apartment or home.. But once again like I said I'm not looking for a Stay at home wife.. I don't know how many times I gotta say that..
[You then went on to say that he can't afford his ex wife's lifestyle, and why is he still providing a lifestyle for her? Geez.. But I'm just saying what the reason might be..]
well thats why he is currently behind on paying the bills because he has no more money after paying for her vacation
[Yeah, it's called financial aid.. Credit doesn't matter.. Since the cost of Community college is so small they basically give you money based on your financial status.. To help you.. Or there's get paid as you learn programs..]
its pretty obvious you never went to college. financial aid does NOT cover everything. This family can't even pay its bills, how do you expect them to pay for tuition. Plus, the ex wife does not want to work. she's lazy as hell. she wants to take it easy by being a housewife. she has no plans on working a job ever again.
[Well, you're assuming I would live in an expensive place like New York with a family.. Or that I would have 4 kids to take care of.. I could very well have a modest living in the suburbs for a decent priced apartment or home.. ]
you're clueless as hell. do you know 60% of americans are living paycheck to paycheck? most americans can't even afford to pay an additional $500 bill. this is ALL OVER AMERICA, not only just in NYC.
its obvious that you never had to pay for a family. You think your current modest living as a single man will be same "modest living" after having kids.
Let me give you a rude awakening:
you can very well be financially stable as a single man But just wait till you have 4-5 clones of you to feed, 2-3 college tuitions to pay for, your son's video games, your daughter's fashion/ clothes, saving for retirement, mortgage, 2 cars, gas / insurance, property taxes, giving your wife an allowance, YOU WILL BE FLAT BROKE.
you as a single man who never ever had to pay for anyone else in life have no right to say that you will be just fine after having a family.
@joshydavid25
if it were so easy to support a family, most mothers in america wouldn't be working jobs.
get your head out of your ass
"well thats why he is currently behind on paying the bills because he has no more money after paying for her vacation."
So basically she's a stay at home ex wife.. LOL.. She needs to start paying her own way.. Basically he seems to be paying child support and alimony.. I can see why she's taking up most of his expenses..
"its pretty obvious you never went to college. financial aid does NOT cover everything. This family can't even pay its bills, how do you expect them to pay for tuition. Plus, the ex wife does not want to work. she's lazy as hell. she wants to take it easy by being a housewife. she has no plans on working a job ever again."
I actually have.. That's why I'm mentioning COMMUNITY college.. It seems as if you are skipping over that part.. She can go to community college since she could a get certificate and it wouldn't cost much.. I also mention get paid to learn programs..
"you're clueless as hell. do you know 60% of americans are living paycheck to paycheck? most americans can't even afford to pay an additional $500 bill. this is ALL OVER AMERICA, not only just in NYC."
Yes the economy in America is not the best at the moment and inflation is beating us down.. But there are much cheaper places to live in America than New York.. Nicer too.. Like Texas where they have nice cheap big houses.. His family could move there..
"Let me give you a rude awakening:
you can very well be financially stable as a single man But just wait till you have 4-5 clones of you to feed, 2-3 college tuitions to pay for, your son's video games, your daughter's fashion/ clothes, saving for retirement, mortgage, 2 cars, gas / insurance, property taxes, giving your wife an allowance, YOU WILL BE FLAT BROKE."
I don't know how many times I have to say that... I'm not looking to be sole provider.. My wife can work.. We can work together to provide a decent life for our kids..
[But there are much cheaper places to live in America than New York.. Nicer too.. Like Texas where they have nice cheap big houses.. His family could move there..]
Do you really think his family can afford to buy a car to drive all the way down to TX. Then buy a cheap house when HE can't EVEN PAY HIS OWN BILLS RIGHT NOW?
You clearly have never paid for anyone but yourself. You haven't had the faintest clue of what it is like to support a family. Thats why you're going around saying its so easy
There is nowhere that is cheap. Texas wages are much lower than new york wages.
[She can go to community college since she could a get certificate and it wouldn't cost much]
It wouldn't cost much to you as a single man. But it would cost a lot to a family who can't even pay their light bill. there's also no garuantee of a job even after you graduate from college. His wife is dumb and lazy too. She doesn't want to study or work hard. She wants to be a housewife cuz its the easy way out.
[Basically he seems to be paying child support and alimony.. I can see why she's taking up most of his expenses..]
Its not child support or alimony. They said they divorced so she could qualify for welfare to buy free food for the family
"Do you really think his family can afford to buy a car to drive all the way down to TX. Then buy a cheap house when HE can't EVEN PAY HIS OWN BILLS RIGHT NOW?"
Yeah, I do believe they can.. Just cut out some expenses probably brought on by the wife and plan it out.. I've paid bills for people other than myself.. Like my family.. I didn't say it was so easy, just that it's possible.. There are cheaper places to live.. Like the one I mentioned..
"It wouldn't cost much to you as a single man. But it would cost a lot to a family who can't even pay their light bill. there's also no garuantee of a job even after you graduate from college. His wife is dumb and lazy too. She doesn't want to study or work hard. She wants to be a housewife cuz its the easy way out."
I can tell you've never been to community college.. It doesn't cost much at all.. Especially if she applies for financial aid to help me out at least.. And well they must not be struggling too bad if she is still lazy and cruising around.. Either that or she is just not a great woman.. She's also not a housewife since she isn't much of a wife anymore.. They're divorced..
"Its not child support or alimony. They said they divorced so she could qualify for welfare to buy free food for the family"
Kinda is.. Maybe not legally, but they aren't married, so that's technically what's happening..
[Yeah, I do believe they can.. Just cut out some expenses probably brought on by the wife and plan it out.. ]
cut out like what? food? even if they do cut out food, it wouldn't nearly be enough to buy a whole car, insurance, gas to drive all the way down to texas. then put a deposit on an apartment.
[I've paid bills for people other than myself.. Like my family.. I didn't say it was so easy, just that it's possible.. There are cheaper places to live.. Like the one I mentioned..]
i know you haven't. because your level of understanding of what it takes to move is so LOW. You're talking as if you live with your parents. Your financial planning skills are terrible. You think college is free too. I'm pretty sure you've never been to college which is why you're sayin that.
[I can tell you've never been to community college.. It doesn't cost much at all.. Especially if she applies for financial aid to help me out at least..]
I have been to college, thats how I know financial aid does not cover everything. Especially if you are a non degree student. Non degree students DO NOT RECEIVE ANY FINANCIAL AID. If community college was free, then why do students takes out hundreds of thousands in loans just to attend college?
[And well they must not be struggling too bad if she is still lazy and cruising around.. Either that or she is just not a great woman.. She's also not a housewife since she isn't much of a wife anymore.. They're divorced..]
Some men like you appreciate it when a woman is a useless lump who can't help him support the family. This is what happens when you marry a woman who cannot contribute. She sits at home 8 hours a day with little to nothing to do waiting for the kids to come back from school. This is your definition of a housewife that you absolutely love.
[Kinda is.. Maybe not legally, but they aren't married, so that's technically what's happening..]
well he is buying paying all the rent, light, gas, cell phone , tv bills. She is taking care of the kids and doing the cooking so that he gets to eat by the time he gets home. She had to divorce in order to qualify for welfare from the government. Welfare pays for the food around the house.
This is not child support or alimony at all.
You're so clueless you don't even know what alimony or child support is.
[Yeah, I do believe they can.. Just cut out some expenses probably brought on by the wife and plan it out.. ]
you don't even know how much it costs to buy a car, put a deposit down on an apartment, feed 4-5 people.
thats how i know you likely don't even pay your own bills. you sound like you live with your parents.
Car= 25,000
security deposit for apartment + first months rent + broker fee+ light/ water= 5,000
Gas to drive down to texas= 400-500
Hotel / Motels for stops during the drive= 800
Food= 400
Car Insurance= 150
Furniture= 4000-8000
Money for food for the first 6 months while unemployed seeking a job down in Texas= 10,000
Rent for first 6 months while unemployed seeking a job in Texas= 9,000
add all these numbers up and tell me how much it costs for them to move to texas.
is it an easy feat for any family living almost paycheck to paycheck to be able to muster up 50-60k to move to texas?
Listen, this was fun but it's obvious you are strawmanning me over and over again and making assumptions that are completely wrong.. You Win Anon..
@joshydavid25
lets face it... you're just mad that your housewife narrative no longer works today. thats why you're picking a fight with me.
at the end of the day, logic and common sense will always win. Your bias will never win.
I make decisions according to the math... not according to your ego.
I honestly think it was you who had a narrative.. I was just defending Housewives.. Nothing wrong with wanting to take care of the house while the husband is out working if they can afford it.. That's all I was saying..
@joshydavid25
there's no point in defending the housewife role when it is completely unaffordable.
you're the first person I would like to see suffer under the single breadwinner role.
the housewife is not "taking care of the house" most of the time. she's sitting at home in front of the tv for most of the day while the kids are out at school 8 hours a day.
You just seen to wanna keep this going.. I keep saying that I am not trying to be a breadwinner..
Seem**..
@joshydavid25
thats what you like to say... but I know you would take a housewife even if you can't afford it.
the fact that you show absolutely no respect for a woman who tries to help support the family shows your true stance.
the fact that you're unwilling to acknowledge that the family IS struggling. shows your true stance.
you're just unwilling to acknowledge the housewife role no longer works thats why you're constantly arguing with me.
I'm not, and I never showed lack of respect for a wife working.. In fact that's probably how my marriage will be..
@joshydavid25
you say that to save your own pride... but you know deep in your heart what you really want. If you're willing to respect a lazy housewife over a hard working woman who tries her best to help her man out...
😂😂😂.. Nah, give me a sexy woman who wants to help her man out any day.. I'll take the second choice in a heartbeat.. I already let you know from the beginning that I don't care to have a housewife.. Also, if I did happen to have one, I would hope she would actually do things around the house and other busy activities and not be lazy.. But like I mentioned. I don't want a housewife..
If the breadwinner dies than the wife gets insurance money to help her until the kids grow and she starts full time work
can you afford insurance money? will insurance money be enough?
There is more to a family and successful upbringing of children than just making money.
you can't successfully raise children without resources. There is a huge difference between simply raising kids versus raising kids WELL to lead decent lives.
And yet college educated people with the best jobs have the fewest children and dirt poor people in 3rd world countries have the most.
can you pay for college without money? exactly!
Most stay at home moms worked prior to becoming a mother. They give up their careers so they can be home with the kids. If the worst happened, they could go always go back to work.
And I don't know why you're so passionate about this because staying at home isn't an option for most people anymore lol
I actually read about a mother and 2 young kids strugglin really hard to survive after the death of the breadwinner of their family. I just feel so bad for them.
Tbh I feel like any single parent is going to struggle regardless. Kids are a lot of money and the cost of living is already ridiculous. But I agree, it's very sad.
@opinion owner
I dont know of what kind of parent who loves their precious kids would RISK their child's livelihood just so that the mother could be a housewife. there is absolutely no security to a household like that.
what if dad gets cancer and dies? who will support the kids? mom can't.
what if dad gets severely injured in car accident and can no longer walk? he goes on the tiny bit of disability which really isn't enough to support a family and the kids will just starve until 18.
if 1 tiny thing goes wrong with dad, the entire family will go down.
You do understand that my original opinion hasn't changed, right? A "housewive" isn't a stay at home mom. A housewive doesn't have to have kids. I don't know any guy who's going to financially take care of a grown ass woman who hasn't and doesn't plan on giving him kids. She usually works until she has a kid, THEN, she and the father both agree that it would be best if she stayed home with the kids.
Most stay at home moms worked prior to having kids. They have skills. They can go back to work. I'm saying that most one income households with kids are going to struggle because wages have not kept up with the cost of living. If the husband dies, she's going to have a difficult time even if she was already working. Any single parent would.
Vast majority of stay home moms are uneducated women with no skills.
truth is... career women only stay home for a few years after the kids are born to take care of them prior to sending them to kindergarten. but after the kids hit kindergarten, she goes back to work.
uneducated women with no career tend to be stay home wives because they have nothing to lose other than their crappy job.
educated women who make decent amount of money, pulled out loans to obtain a great career have a lot to lose by becoming stay home moms.
[If the husband dies, she's going to have a difficult time even if she was already working. Any single parent would.]
I don't think you understand the difference between a woman who makes 90k a year versus a woman who makes 19k a year supporting 3 kids. there is a huge difference between these two.
Because real devoted housewives deserves to be glorified!
its a very unstable , insecure living. Once the breadwinner is gone, the kids will be starving. the mom will be in deep shit
Nothing is stable and guaranteed in this life, just live your life day by day and do the best to secure your family and why you're judging that the husband will surely die, what if the wife died? Do you think that it's easy for a loving husband to just live his life normally without his wife, some chose to never get married again...
Women these days are all educated or the majority of them are like that, if something happens, she can easily find a job and continue her life...
nothing is truly guaranteed in life but... you try to be as stable as you can FOR YOUR KIDS. You don't tr to be as unstable as you can for your kids.
it is always better to be more stable than to be less stable.
[Do you think that it's easy for a loving husband to just live his life normally without his wife, some chose to never get married again...]
Women don't divorce loving good husbands. She will only divorce you if she is unhappy with you as a husband.
About stability, some men have guaranteed the life of their wives and kids even after death...
Also it's a choice, you can work if you want to and not becoming a housewife...
In my book, the word divorce doesn't exists, except for cheating or continuous physical abuse cause everything else can be fixed, even a physical abuse can be treated but the only thing that ain't fixable is cheating!
Now about women do not divorce good husbands, believe me they do!
If what you said is true than i would of been married till this day 😏
Simply claiming things that dont make sense or doesn't add up doesn't make them true.
Women divorce because they are unhappy. What makes an unhappy wife? A bad husband
[About stability, some men have guaranteed the life of their wives and kids even after death...]
Not true for 95% of all men
So you're saying that i was a bad husband right? Well think the way you want, can't have a convo with a person who thinks that their always right and others are wrong and blame the others for their wrong actions and decisions... etc
Now about stability, why are you making a scene from this topic, just work and don't become a housewife, as simple as that! Why are you so worried if you're not even one?
Have a good day...
well if your wife was so happy with you, she wouldn't be divorcing you right? you obviously cannot make her happy
I'm glad that she left, don't want someone with me whom cannot be happy with me, if marriage is all about making you happy or not, than everyone will divorce 😂
You can blame me as much as you want, cause you don't know the truth, also women like you do not deserve my time to even explain to them why!
My conversation with you is over, have a nice day!
[I'm glad that she left, don't want someone with me whom cannot be happy with me, if marriage is all about making you happy or not, than everyone will divorce ]
if your goal as a husband is not to make your wife happy, that means you are a bad husband.
a good husband will always try his best to make his wife happy.
a man who does not care if his wife is crying... is not a good husband
you do deserve your wife to divorce you
Can you just f*ck off?
Get life insurance. Problem solved
can you afford it? easy to say it... but hard to pay it.
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