Rejecting men for dates?

[Anonymous]

I'm not used to going on dates with men, and my first dating experience was with a woman even losing my virginity - why are men confused when I'm constantly rejecting them due to my sexuality and lack of experiences with them? There is a wall up between me and men.. my journey never started with them, but ended with them a decade ago

[DaveJord]

Are you a lesbian? I mean if you are a lesbian, I do not get the issue here?

Are you saying that even when you tell men you are a lesbian, they get upset at you for rejecting them?

[Asker]

Yes exactly what I'm saying

[DaveJord]

Then they are losers, and not anyone you need to concern yourself with.

[Asker]

Yeah but it's the constant harassment and disrespect when being rejected

[DaveJord]

Well, that's life. We all make our choices and live with it. So, this how it is. I don't know what to tell you.

[Asker]

Yeah thanks

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, dating is rough. I can understand why you've got kind of a wall up with men if most of your experiences have been with women. A few thoughts:

- Be upfront early on that you're still figuring things out and may need to take things very slowly. Help set expectations.

- Don't feel bad about rejecting guys - you gotta follow your gut and do what feels right for you. Your comfort is most important.

- Could help to be open minded and try getting to know a guy as a friend first before labeling it a "date". Take the pressure off.

- Therapy may help process your past experiences and gain more clarity on what you're looking for now.

- Don't rush into anything physical if you're not ready. Small steps like just chatting could help ease into getting to know men again.

- You may also just not be ready to date men yet period. And that's okay! Don't feel forced.

- Be kind but firm. Guys will live if they get rejected, even if their ego’s bruised for a sec.

The wall may take time to come down if ever. But don't pressure yourself. Just focus on feeling comfortable in your own skin first. It'll work out however it's meant to!

[Asker]

I'm not interested in dating men- no experiences there and the experiences so were traumatic it almost killed me.. heartbreak, SA, rape, abuse.. my journey is over with men and the amount of fear and ptsd makes my anxiety go in overdrive. I've been to therapy and finally hot my prsd to a 2 rather than a 10. My real relationships have been with women as that's where my heart is

[Asker]

Been lesiban since I was a teen and no longer find men appeasing or of interest as friends- romance wise not interested or sexually

[Asker]

I'm not interested in dating men at all and wished they back off to women who desires them - I want my girlfriend and peace of mind ❤️

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really sucks what happened to you. No wonder you're not into guys after all that trauma. I can't even imagine what you went through. You totally deserve to feel safe and be with someone who makes you happy. It's cool that you know yourself so well and are comfortable being with women. I respect that. Those guys need to back off and respect your boundaries too. All that matters is that you're happy and healed now. Don't even waste energy worrying about what guys think - you do you! I'm sure the right girl is out there for you. Just keep focusing on yourself and your girlfriend. Dudes will get the hint eventually. You gotta take care of your mental health, so don't let anyone stress you out. I hope stuff works out for you!

[Oliverlogan263]

And I’m so sorry what happened to you 🥺❤️

[Asker]

Thanks I believe I'm where I'm meant to be and that's with women as I was never suppose to invest with men in the first place

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure girl, I totally feel you. It sounds like your experiences with women are where you were always meant to find real connection and happiness. Nothing wrong with that at all.

It's like you said - your journey with dudes ended a long time ago after all the trauma. And you gotta protect your peace of mind first and foremost. Being with women just makes your soul feel at home, you know?

I respect that you know yourself so well, even after all the BS you went through. It takes real strength to reclaim your truth like that. You deserve mad props for owning who you are unapologetically!

Now it's about surrounding yourself with people who see YOUR light, not tryna dim it down. Seems like you're already doing that by keeping it real with your lady. Mad respect for living your best authentic life, sis. Keep shining!

[Asker]

Thanks and yes ! 🙏🏽

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome 😊

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆