Are women superficial or justifiably cautious if they don't date men who lose jobs frequently, and who find work in physical labor type jobs mainly?

[Bethany22]

Do you think losing jobs frequently is a legitimate concern? Or is it being superficial?

[Staximus]

It's a legitimate concern if they are going to live with the guy and don't want to get stuck paying all the bills. If they don't live with the guy, his job really doesn't matter

[matchrestore]

Nah, it would be worrying to me if a woman couldn't hold down a job either. There's a lot of traits that translate between jobs and relationships

[abc3643]

To frequently lose jobs is a very legitimate concern UNLESS that is the nature of the job. For instance, I am a contractor which is a fancy word for "hired help". Don't get me wrong, I have a nice paycheck, but I am hired to work on a project - sometimes for years - but sometimes the customer's money dries up or the project ends or whatever. So, then I am either moved to a different customer or different project with the same customer or just laid-off for a while until my company finds me a new position. Believe it or not, I've been separated from my company 2 or 3 times but I get rehired because I have a decent reputation and am a plug-and-play contractor meaning I already know a great deal and can do the job with little training.

HOWEVER, before I've been doing this work for the past 18 years, yeah, I rarely had a job that lasted very long (more than 3 years) and that should be disconcerting to a woman - shit, it was disconcerting to me!

Fortunately, 18 years ago, I found my niche industry and job and am happy.

[love_conquers_lust]

Justifiable to discuss history. I would want my future spouse to ask about my job history just like we should talk about our sexual one as well. We’d be planning a future together and these issues need to be discussed.

Physical jobs is superficial. That is a large part of what the last election cycles were about. My concern with them is why we insist on making people wear down their bodies at accelerated rates while others swell up like a balloon from sedentation. Both would benefit from swapping job duties for a few hours every work week.

[JacobJordan]

Depends on if they are losing jobs due to quitting or being fired. When they do are they going to a better position the same or worse. Certainly valid concerns but not one to base an entire relationship around without the details. As for the second part. "Doesn't date guys that do physical labor jobs" well that is very very superficial. I would hazard that the reason for that is because they don't make as much money as those in blue collar work. Which honestly look if you want to exile yourself from a vast swath of potentially great guys just because they don't make 200k/year that's all you. But please realize that there will come a time when you look back and realize you lost out on a lot of really good relationships because you were more concerned with money than how someone treated you.

[Bethany22]

Thank you for this perspective. The reason I had had in mind was that I didn't think our personalities would line up too well, since I'm really bad at manual work, and would probably look too pathetic next to him.

[JacobJordan]

Compared to a man every woman is horrible at manual work. Not in a mean way just in a realistic way. On a scale of averages the average man will always outperform the average woman in manual labor. Women are not built that way. So if that concerns you it shouldn't. He is not going to judge you based on that. He will more than likely judge you based on how you treat people (children especially if he wants his own family) how you dress in public, act in public, how you treat him (do you appreciate and respect him or are you argumentative type stuff) if you know how to cook and you cook something for him he'll definitely judge that. Unless you are doing sex work he likely will not even care what job you have.

[IslaTheWitch]

It depends.

I have a history of many years of having 2 to 3 jobs per year. Not because I was fired but because I couldn't stay longer in one place. But I solved the problem, and lately, I have had years of staying in the company before I decided to switch or pursue something that excites me more than my current job.

So, for sure, an open conversation would help gather information and decide if we want to continue or not.

I have nothing against physical labour jobs. Just the frequency of changing them can be a red flag, but I touched on this in the previous part of this opinion.

[HawkPerception]

You can say that I'm projecting here a little. I'll take that. I do think it is superficial, but I don't think I'll ever understand a woman's mind. Maybe a part of them always thinks about future children and having their partner that always have inconsistent income and ability to provide does not assure them in terms of security. But as a man, I can say I would never care whether a woman was in and out of jobs or still figuring herself. Everyone has their own path in life and figures things out at different rates. What I'm with a girl for is simply my physical attraction towards her and how much I vibe with her/chemistry. Is she someone I can see myself sharing experiences with and waking up to for the rest of my life? Nothing in what I desire in a girl is related to her job. But I guess women just don't see things that way and it irritates me because I refuse to accept there isn't a single girl that thinks the same way I do, that I find attractive both physically and mentally.

[Bethany22]

You might be wholistic in that you would never care about a woman's job situation, but you basically admit to nevertheless be superficial in that you would only date a woman who was physically attractive, whereby nothing else she could do could raise her sexual attraction towards you

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, maybe all they can ever get are part time jobs or temp jobs. People don't seem to hire those best suited for the jobs they're hiring for! I'd be perfect for work in a record store or radio station but, in all the times I've applied for those jobs, NOBODY will hire me! Best I can get is shit jobs that only last a few months. I've worked at dozens of jobs where I've had no previous experience in and, usually, became one of their best employees!!

[exitseven]

There are plenty of guys who cannot hold a job. Lots of guys in the trades are often unemployed because that is the nature of that kind of job. THat is okay but there are people that just cannot do s 9-5 job 5 days a week. I dated a bartender and we were together for about 5 months. She had 3 jobs during that time. she just could not work every day.

[Flatmanlewis]

No. It’s entirely justified. An inability to keep a job (or maintain a career) is both a reflection on his overall suitability for a long term relationship (which for most people includes dreams of goals like home ownership, vacations, weddings, and children) and his maturity. At some point if a guys is constantly being fired or can’t otherwise keep his job it says a lot about his handling of basic responsibility and ambition.

[Skunked]

Physical labor jobs while not being the ones that are going to make you rich, often pay more than many of the white collar jobs that guys have where they aren't even making oover60k. Mechanics, plumbers, electricians, welders, construction workers, they can all take you into the 80s, 90s, and some over 100s.

I'm not in any blue collar career myself but felt it might surprise you to know this

[DarkWinterNights]

Superficial is not dating a plumber, despite the fact that he makes 6 figures. Not wanting to date someone who is fickle or unreliable/commonly unemployed is not. Though I will say, as someone who does interviews for positions frequently it’s incredibly difficult to find people who don’t change jobs every couple of months. It’s basically the only way to get a raise these days.

[nawtee_me]

What is wrong with physical labor jobs? Someone has to do them… I do physical labor and I am 66 years old. It keeps me in shape. I also make right at 50,000 a year.

[Miristheiss]

Western women are. Entitled, arrogant, promiscuous, argumentative, delusional, no accountability, masculine, no virtue.

Not all women, by no means but tons are like this in the west.

Worldwide they are not like this.

[robhazelnut]

It's not superficial, it's biological. Pregnancy + breastfeeding meant back in prehistory, a man who couldn't provide meant poorer health or even starvation for his children and their mother.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Losing jobs yeah. My wall guy is constantly doing physical labor. He bought a >$100k truck cash because it "would have taken too much time to fill out the paperwork to finance."

[Emmagirly98]

I would say justifiable for the frequent job loss. It is a red flag if they cannot commit to a job/career and or shows poor work ethic if they are continuously being fired. That being said, I think it is ok to prefer a partner who does not work labor jobs HOWEVER I have dated plenty of men who work in that line of work and it was a non issue, they were still good people and made good money. I don't think their job is as important as their values, personality etc.

[sheikalana]

A person who is constantly loosing their job is probably an unstable person. I've been working since I was 19 and never lost a job.

[Sparkie460]

If they can't keep a job its definitely a red flag and it's justified if women don't date them

[trellbrown84]

whatever boomer. after all, your generation made the rules that fucked the rest of us, then had the audacity to pull the ladder up behind y'all.

[Cute_potato01]

Depends on the job. Something job can't afford it. If the job requires more then what he does. It's superficial to me

[NathanDavis]

being constantly fired can be a concern...

to see physical labor as as concern sounds prejudiced

[DJB72]

Construction work is notorious for laying off workers at short notice on a global level. It doesn't mean he's a risk