What questions do you ask before getting into a serious relationship with someone?

Question

I am not talking about just going out or getting a cup of coffee together. I mean things you want to know after the third date, or before taking the next step.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

What I want to know and how to ask are different things:

I want to know their relationship to parents and siblings, offspring, and to their X.

Serious relationship history and prior dating history... especially what they learned about themselves, what they are looking for in relationship

Financial and work standing to some extent.

Spiritual and emotional health.

What they want to do in life... their values and goals, what they enjoy. how they envision life. Includes where they see themselves living.

Pets, where the pets are, how many, etc..

What they are like up and down. Both will have to be dealt with. probably only know by spending time...

How they handle conflict, communication, and resolve issues. Major issues can turn up if they are direct, indirect, passive... based upon the dynamics between the two.

Oh god... it's so complicated isn't it, but really doesn't have to be. Ultimatley, you have to know if you like them and if you can choose to love and honor them and remain healthy yourself.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I think it's important to talk about all the stuff related to your core values. The earlier on the better. As long you don't ask in an interview-like tone, show genuine interest and show you want to understand them as a person, they should be respond with some enthusiasm.

I always try to bring up if their intentions in dating, if they want kids, if they smoke, what their hobbies & interests, views, and goals are in life (like where they see themselves in the future with their partner), etc.

If they don't want kids, smoke, have few hobbies and interests that are similar to mine (meaning there's not much that we would like doing together), have different core views (religion, politics, etc), and can't see themselves in an off-grid tiny house and living campervan life for a while, I cross them out as a potential future partner.

19magic · Accepted Answer

Whether or not you want kids, get married, joint bank accounts, same homes, how do each of you deal with problems and what that will look like if you have a disagreement, how is that communicated between you, how involved is family in your life what normal does that look like, what are your financial/life goals do they aline with each other.

I think any of those are great questions once you've figured out similarities and a likeness for one another.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

I don't ask intrusive questions that are none of my business. I am only interested in what our common interests are, if any.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I trust my instincts, which always helps me pick a good and a trustworthy man.

Finchie40 · Answer

I ask her if she truly knows what it means to be in a relationship and ask her questions in regards to being in a relationship , to make sure it’s something she really wants and not just the thought of it

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

Kids - yes or no Want to live in the city or country? I don't like big cities Do you have a good relationship with your parents? If she doesn't I want to know why? What are you looking for in a guy? I want to know if she will add to my life or just take What kind of vacations do you like? I want a travel buddy and I hate all inclusive resorts and shopping. I need adventure Do you exorcise? Don't need to be skinny and I would rather be with someone who is trying to stay fit so I can too What do you like to eat? I've dated too many women who eat whatever they want and are under 100lbs. I need meals to be healthy so I don't get fat What does the future look like? I want to make sure we are going in the same direction and want the same things in the future How did your last relationship end? If they've only dated toxic guys I'm out. If they've learned from past mistakes and are a better version of themselves I'm in

DJB72 · Answer

What's your number? If she replies "you mean my body count?" then it doesn't go any further. If it's high enough to be referred to as a "body count" I'm not interested.

I know everyone has a past. I've been married 20 years now and I wish I could've told my wife I'd never slept with anyone before her. Even after 20 years she still sometimes asks if she's as attractive as my exes. Either of them.

If something happened to her and I was looking for another relationship I'd automatically walk away if she'd had more than 4 sexual partners assuming she's within 10-15 years of my age.

Anonymous · Answer

Their life experiences, the relationship with their parents when they were children, their sexual availability and their body count. If you are more conservative, whether they had sex only in relationship or they also had one night stands. If you are more religious, if they are virgin or not. I would also pay attention too hear if they have some opposite sex friends who are attracted to them etc

sawno · Answer

I let things go organically, things will just come up since I like deep conversations.
If she can't hold a deep conversation thats no material for a second date, but if she can everything meaningful will just come up.

LazerBean · Answer

Any question necessary to see if his values and goals in life are aligned with mine. Which happens to be a lot of questions, so I'm not going to specify them all lol

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Many, because we talk about a wide number of things and we both ask questions. So before we decide we want to proceed... we probably know enough to be sure we want it :D

LikesToSuckOlderMen · Answer

Where do you think this relationship is going to go?

Because a lot of men nowadays just wants a one night stand up and that's it.

Or Be friends with benefits.

Because I was dating this guy for a year and then when we had sex it was good but after we had sex he just left and never called or texted me back, I was stupid because I gave him my virginity.

Amara_09 · Answer

I would probably first ask them if they are comfortable being in a serious relationship with a dominant woman

RageBabe · Answer

Are you married? No, seriously, that's what I ask.

Worrying · Answer

How many other females do you chat/text with other than me?

NathanDavis · Answer

"any chance, you know how to make... perhaps... homemade baked Cheetos?"

Crankor · Answer

A recent one has developed, whether we want kids or not, do kids take priority. That says a lot about the type of person they are

Paris13 · Answer

Make Sure If you are The One to Want a Real Relationship. That They TOO Are Eventually Into It. xxoo

HaveNoName · Answer

The first most relevant question would be "what are your plans for marriage and what are your views on having kids and family llife?". Everythibg else is crucial but secondary.

7Phoenix7 · Answer

I ask about their childhood and their family.

Unit1 · Answer

Questions, that reveal personality characteristics, values and compatibility. This is so that no-gos are determined sooner than later.

JacobJordan · Answer

Kids, house/apartment lifestyle, job aspirations or sahm, things of that nature as those would determine if I stayed with a woman

sage2021 · Answer

Are you a drug addict or alcoholic?

msc545 · Answer

"I ask myself "Do you really need or want this trouble"" ?  No matter how needy I might be, the answer is almost always no. i

serious_miss419 · Answer

U talk like it’s a job interview 🤣🤣

Anonymous · Answer

Do you swallow?

What questions do you ask before getting into a serious relationship with someone?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What are some serious questions to ask before getting into a relationship?