What are some serious questions to ask before getting into a relationship?

Question

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I’m not really sure the focus should be on just questions , but additionally more listening , observing to understand their character. How you feel with them ? How you function together , do you feel calm? , respected? Safe? Do you feel they are honest? Do they mean what they say and does their actions follow their words? How do they handle misunderstandings - do they listen or get defensive? Do you have shared values? Things like integrity? Money attitude boundaries , kids / no kids , and especially how they treat people when there is nothing to gain !!

Independence is also a big one for me , couples should choose each other , not outsourcing your happiness.

Who are they when life is just chugging along or when it’s boring or when it’s stressful.

Does the person they purport to be match up with how they act?

Are they the grand gesture type and loads of action to a few months or are they more reliable and even / constant … anyone can be great in the short term.

Observe constantly a person will always show you who they are !!!

Grond21 · Accepted Answer

How do you handle conflict? Do you want kids, and when? What are your standards around sex? What are the roles of the future spouses? What are you down time activities? What are your ambitions?  Etc

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

It takes time to get any questions you may have answered in the start of the relationship. You don't want to pepper the guy with a bunch of questions or he might just say forget it.

Of course we will never know if he's telling the truth anyway unless he happens to slip up one day.

I take my time with asking questions. Then I sneak one or two in when I feel it's the right time.

I think the basic questions that would build a good foundation for your relationship would be good.

You want to find out if his religious beliefs are the same as yours. That would be my first question.

This is hard for me to answer because I don't like to pry into his business. In time he will talk about the things that you would like to know.

I just wait with the questions and what ever comes to my mind I will ask him when the time is right. But not right away.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

Plans for the future (career, marriage, kids). See if you both share similar values.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Helping people connect is my jam! Before diving into a relationship, discovering each other's values, goals, and communication styles can save a lot of heartbreak. Chat about future visions, finances, past relationship experiences, and whether you've got similar ideas about love! And always keep an eye on those red flags. Love's like a puzzle, each piece tells a story! 😉 Ready to charm each other with your truths?

HawkPerception · Answer

I think the most important questions should be to figure out whether you have chemistry or not. So that includes questions about their views, interests, finding out what kind of sense of humor they have (not necessarily through questions, but just talking in general), what their goals are in life and if they align with yours, and even what they're into sexually.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's sad, but in today's world, a perfectly good and important question for a man to ask a woman is:  Were you born female?

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I believe the single most important question is “What responsibility do you have in the failures of your past relationships?”.

Finchie40 · Answer

Ask them if they are any anti depressant medications, if they say yes , do t date them anymore lol

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

There’s the obvious ones: thoughts on kids, marriage, pets, family relations, etc.

There’s also ones about personal ambitions, vulnerabilities, where they struggle, where they excel, how well that can apply to your life because you want someone to be your complement, not a mirror of you and definitely NOT a missing piece of you. You need to approach this as a whole person, and know that they’re also a whole person, and you want that other whole person to improve your life where you struggle, i. e. if you struggle with financial management, and they’re great at it, that’s a reason to stick around. And you do something for them, too. Just make sure you don’t fall into that pit of emotional labor for men who never learned how.

sawno · Answer

I'm not a direct questionaire kinda guy, but I'd want to know in general if we are compatible. Like do our belief systems work when we raise a child for example? Because I surely don't want to (accidentally) get her pregnant and then have to deal with constant conflicts on how the child should be raised. Is she a sane person to be around? Etc.

But I don't really have to ask any questions to find out, because its usually evident very early on. I do intentionally share some controversial beliefs at times to see how she manages that, because if she then agrees with me that's a great sign, if she hates me for it that's a game over and if she's willing to have a conversation and the end result isn't a "Can't raise the kids together" kinda scenario its still on track.

MrChinaski · Answer

Am I doing this from a place of personal strength and love? Or is it because I am bored, feel inadequate, think another person can fix me, because its what people do and I should do normal-people things?

Actually, am I exploring and trying to work out who I am any my place in the world? That could be a good reason too. Though you really should be upfront that you don't know where your going with it, before you get to know them too well and they think it is their fault. 'It's not you, it's me' has done a swathe of damage over the years.

There are probably lots more on either side, but that would be where I would start.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Too many to count, and since all questions I asked were deriving from the conversations we had then it doesn't really make sense for me to preemptively have ones or want ones...

If you want to test the capacities of a guy, I think this question you're asking right now is a funny and interesting one. Because it can start a lot of topics at once and inform you right away about his mental flexibility

Miristheiss · Answer

Life goals.

Values and opinion on marriage, faith, sex, handling money, having kids. Ask about her first sexual experience, how old was she and was it her boyfriend. (Really just asking to get her to reveal if she is a virgin or not). No promiscuous women is commitment material.

SixFootSexy · Answer

Have you ever had a mental illness or been on psych meds?

Are you a ho?

Do you have a growth mindset, improving yourself and your character

Do you have good friends?

Then just talk to her friends and find out from them what kind of person she truly is. If they're all air-headed hussies, she likely is one as well.

jazzy34 · Answer

Do you want children?
Are you good at managing money?
Do you have a criminal record? (I know that’s public record, but I still would give him a chance to answer)

There are more, but those were the ones at the top of my head at the moment.

Beckybooboo · Answer

I adore you, @simslover92 I can give you a hundred honest questions you can ask but do they mean anything if you don't know if the answer is honest?

loveslongnails · Answer

As someone living in the USA, my first question nowadays is: "Are you willing to leave the USA, possibly forever?" If the answer is "no", there's no point in asking anything else. If she says "yes, please", then I ask about kids. If she wants kids, we're done. If she doesn't want kids, then we settle up about core values and religion.

Anonymous · Answer

Are you biologically a female? What’s your stance on religion? Whats your stance on politics? Do you want marriage? If so what kind? Traditional? How will our kids be raised? Do you have a lot of debt? Do you have a history, especially a promiscuous one that’s going to bring shame to jour family name? Those would be a few imports ones for me.

dudeinohio · Answer

Why did previous relationships fail? How many previous relationships have you had? Are you friends with exes? Do you have any opposite sex friends? Have you ever cheated on a partner?

These are the important ones for me. Good luck ! ❤️

FreyaRed · Answer

Do I need a relationship at all?  I mean emotional dependency that comes with any deeper relationship.

Nikki1989 · Answer

How much 'alone time' do you need to feel like yourself? This is just one example.

UrLoveMocha · Answer

What’s their relationship like with their parents? Also, if they’re involved with anyone? Those would be some I would tell my friends to say.

Paige90 · Answer

Are you conservative or libera l

Lyndseylou38 · Answer

Are you sleeping with anyone right now and show me your results after you're done getting tested at the clinic!

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Do you want kids? I have a vasectomy so I try to get this off the table as soon as possible.

queenofcardio · Answer

I would ask religion and society questions.

Anonymous · Answer

Were you born with an eggplant or a taco?

DonaldDarko · Answer

In the case of pic related "Should I end my genetic line"?

WhitneySnow · Answer

Am i ready for this? Do I really like this person? Do they really like me?

Anonymous · Answer

Do you like to fuck a lot?
Do you like being constantly loaded with sperm?
Can you take a 9" dick to the hilt?
Do you gag easily?
Are you comfy with walking around the house naked all day?
Can you still cook well while having a dick shoved up your pussy?
Can you walk with a dick shoved up your pussy?
Can you sleep well with a dick shoved up your pussy?
Can you balance a checkbook?

Chocolatetwopoint3 · Answer

If he wants kids, his political thoughts, his economy, his thoughts on marriage and everything in between

Shiprex · Answer

Children, employment and plans for the future for economic survival

msc545 · Answer

I don't know, something like, "How many times have you sued men or accused them of things that they didn't do?"

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

I'd ask about marriage first. If she demands it, that's a deal breaker.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Do you have any kids? Where do you see yourself in the next three to five years?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I've never been in a relationship.

Alex8736 · Answer

Are you still married?

What are some serious questions to ask before getting into a relationship?

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