When to reach out after the second date? Day or so later? Let her reach out? She text after first date, I don't know why didn’t after the second?

[Anonymous]

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey man, that's a tricky situation after the second date. A few things I would consider:

- The day after is usually fine to text and say you had a good time. Shows you're interested without coming on too strong.

- If she texted after the first date but not the second, maybe she's waiting to see if you'll reach out this time. Could just be playing it cool.

- Give it til later that day or the next morning. Don't wanna seem overeager right away. Play it cool too, you know?

- If you don't hear from her by the next afternoon, a casual text asking how her day is going wouldn't hurt. Leave the ball in her court then if she doesn't respond much.

- Maybe she wants you to show initiative since she did last time. A few days of silence and she may think you're not that into it.

- Trust your gut - if it feels right to text sooner, go for it. Better than leaving it too long and losing momentum.

I'd say reach out within a day but keep it light. Give a little, make your interest known, but don't go all in yet if she doesn't bite. Play it by ear from there - you got this man!

[Anonymous]

Just be normal and do what feels comfortable, she’s either going to be into it or not. The thing is you wanna be your authentic self at all times so that is the person she’s falling for, not the version of you trying to do what you think will appeal most.

[Asker]

I agree with this to an extent! Being your true authentic self is very important, but if you know yourself to be someone who rushes into things and doesn’t take your time therefore driving people away because of your habits, I’d love to change that. I’ve been reading into dating course saying you must let a woman come to you and at her own pace.. aka take things slow. If she’s doesn’t text in a few days go ahead and reach out, otherwise wait out a few days to see if she’s interested and want to reach out after your date. It’s a scale of interest that I’d be interested in understanding

[Opinion Owner]

Taking things slow is one thing, but waiting extensive amounts of time to respond isn’t the answer either. You just have to find a healthy balance. For example, blowing up her phone is excessive, so is love bombing or smothering her with your presence. Texting her a few times through the day, preferably a phone call, asking for a date at some point is cool, just go at a smooth pace and you’ll be fine.