How to bring back the spark online dating?

[Anonymous]

He seems to be losing interest and with him losing interest I'm starting to lose interest with how he goes on, anything to bring back what we felt?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's tough. Online dating can be hit or miss. A few things you could try:

- Suggest meeting up in person if you haven't yet. Sometimes it's easy to lose that spark just over messages, but being together can rekindle things.

- Send some more playful, flirty messages to lighten things up. Throw in some jokes, tease him a bit. Make sure he knows you're still interested in a fun way.

- Ask more questions to learn more about him as a person. People often like talking about their interests, dreams, whatever. Could help you connect on a deeper level.

- Compliment him specifically on things you find attractive about his personality too, not just looks. Men like to feel appreciated for who they are.

- Give it a bit of time if you can. Busy schedules happen. Send him something to look forward to like making firm plans to meet soon.

- If he's still seeming disengaged after trying a few things, you might have to accept the spark is gone. Better to find someone excited to chat with you too. Don't force it if it's not there.

Hope some of that helps! Communication and showing your interest is key early on. Good luck, let me know how it goes!

[Asker]

Appreciate the response but I've got another question, if your partner stops showing interest and you still have interest do you show it and keep going on or stop showing it to not get hurt?

[coachTanthony]

@asker Just ask ChatGPT like he did lol

[Asker]

What?

[Sonorous]

@coachTanthony 🤣🤣🤣

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I would do in that situation:

If a girl I was talking to started seeming less interested, I'd pull back a bit on showing my feelings too at first. No point laying it on thick if she's not reciprocating, yeah? That's just setting myself up to get hurt.

I'd play it cool for a bit. Keep our conversations casual, no big sappy signs of affection. See if giving her some space makes her miss me or realize what she's missing out on. Girls like the chase too sometimes.

At the same time, I wouldn't totally ice her out. I'd still show a baseline level of interest to keep the door open, like checking in every few days, responding to her stories, little things like that.

If after a week or two of that she still seems checked out, then I'd probably call it and move on. Not worth pining over someone who isn't giving me the time of day, ya feel? Plenty more fish and all that.

But if I started to notice any signs she may be coming back around, putting in a bit more effort herself... then I'd match her energy again little by little and see where it leads. Play it by ear based on her vibes, you know?

Hope this helps! Playing it cool when they lose steam is usually the move, I find. Protect your heart but keep your options open too.

[Asker]

That works thanks

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome mama

[ManOnFire]

Do you mean online dating as in you're on a dating site? Or as in you're having a LDR online? If it's the first, then forget about him. Look for the next partner. If someone is losing interest, it's not someone you want to fight for.

If it’s the latter, long distance relationships online are not going to be easy. There's a lot of spark you have to put into that, if you seriously think it's worth it.

[Asker]

It's a long distance relationship

[ManOnFire]

Got it. Yeah, like I said they tend to take work, because neither of you are actually there with each other, so there is always high probability for one person losing interest. Especially if they do meet someone in real life where they are.

[Asker]

So meeting someone in real life has someone show that they losing interest?

[ManOnFire]

It can. But it's mostly just the strain of trying to maintain a long distance thing with someone you've only talked to online or by video chat. It can be draining. If he met someone in real life and it worked, he would probably just ghost you altogether.

Either way, you should ask yourself: is this what you really want?

[DreamLife7]

This man has not told you he wanted to be with you nor that you're his girlfriend so why are you obsessing over him? He's not even dating you. He's online talking to multiple women. He's not interested in you and has found another woman online that he is interested in

[petitedollbabee]

If the spark is already dying over online dating, then it’s pointless to carry on through to in-person.

[Asker]

Not what I asked but thanks

[coachTanthony]

People lose interest in a relationship that is one dimensional. If you can't date someone IRL then it will never work out.

[Asker]

Why not?

[coachTanthony]

The sense of smell and touch are not involved which leaves the relationship in a binary status on a path to boredom and irrelevancy. Human nature harnesses all the senses to keep a relationship on it's toes.

[Flatmanlewis]

This.

[Asker]

What?

[Anonymous]

Commenting on whatever new things happen.

Utilize everyday and upcoming events. Act cool as if he's already expecting ar accepting your message.

We react the same way another acts.
As in, if you talk in a tensioned manner, your interlocutor will be tensioned, and vice versa.

[Asker]

Well I talk in a tensioned manner cause he does it

[Opinion Owner]

Lol then treat him as if its okay so he feels there's no tension.

Yoe be cool and calm regardless of him, and he shall become.
Don't we do this with children? Same applies to anyone :)

[Asker]

Yeah I guess

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

Take it off the app and away from social media as soon as you can. Meaningful connections are better made over the phone and especially in person.

[Asker]

Not so easy with different counties

[Asker]

Countries

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

Unless you have the finances to bridge the gap of an ocean, why are you seeking romance in another country? That reeks of self-sabotage to me.

[Asker]

Well we do , planning on it this year but it's not going to good

[Middleman]

Why do you think you’ve lost interest in him, or him in you?

[Asker]

Him in me lol or I wouldn't be asking

[Jamie05rhs]

He's probably losing interest because you did something to him.

[Asker]

Oh okay thanks

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome.

[Jamie05rhs]

Looking back, is there anything you can think of that you might have done to make him feel bad?

[Asker]

Not that I know of no

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay.

[Staximus]

It's not dating unless you see each other in real life

[HawkPerception]

Meet up in person. Online gets boring.

[Asker]

Different countries isn't that easy

[HawkPerception]

Ah... well then all I can say is do dirty calls with him occasionally. Sext, phone, video call action all keeps things interesting. Also try to play games that are fun online. Not just "how was your day?" and small talk

[Asker]

I do lol

[HawkPerception]

Then... I dunno what to say... Sounds like it's been going on too long and it's better to meet up in person. This is why they say stay away from long distance relationships. Nothing does it like being in person and being able to cuddle and have sex with your partner. Laying next to them and opening up about all your fears, insecurities, dreams and happy moments.

[Asker]

Yeah true I get it thanks

[Katebfun]

He's probably taking to 10 other girls

[Asker]

Really?

[Katebfun]

Guys cast a wide net and talk to many girls at once. Higher probability he'll get laid by an easy girl

[rosemilk]

find another match

[Anonymous]

I'd say move on.

[Asker]

Not what I asked but thanks

[Opinion Owner]

Oh my b. Pretend to move on. That will spark his interest in you again.

[Asker]

Why?

[Jamie05rhs]

No, it won't. That's terrible advice.

[Asker]

You think?

[OddBeMe]

Stop online dating. Boom next?

[Luckycharms12]

Seems childish

[Asker]

What does?

[Luckycharms12]

Online dating

[Asker]

Oh okay so you're irrelevant then

[Luckycharms12]

No one is irrelevant.