How and why did you remain single even into your 20s or 30s?

Question

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

I didn't lose my virginity till I was 28. Part of it was because I grew up in a Roman Catholic Household where sex was supposed to be reserved for marriage only. Couple that with my raging teenage hormones and TV and Media of the 90's and early 2000's and it spelled "disaster" for my self-esteem/self-worth in a way lol. I felt like if you didn't lose your v-card by a certain age (or at least get some sort of sexual experience in high school), you'd be labeled a LOSER (maybe not for life but at least for some time). Lol, I was THAT insecure and cared about what my peers thought of me. But then me, being a virgin, I was also afraid it was going to hurt. Plus, I didn't have a boyfriend back then and some of the men I went to high school looked 30 lol so that didn't help that some of them looked intimidating lol. The shy guys, obviously, I didn't really want them because I thought they were losers too lol, like they didn't have game. Gotta hand it to my teenage brain/train of thought, lol.

When I entered college (community college not the four year), I was just focusing solely on getting an Associates degree and having a steady part-time job so that I could afford things. I didn't grow up rich so I had to earn my way really. My dad only gave me $20 dollars a week (when he was still working full-time) as my allowance. I was also very horny (obviously since I was in my prime fertile years), but I knew I had to play it safe (and was TERRIFIED) of getting pregnant by the wrong man or worse, being LEFT a single-mother. I couldn't reallly afford things, I was struggling and then to add a baby/child to the mix? Umm...

In my 30s (when I was 31), I met this man who was almost ten years older than me. He was divorced with a young child he didn't have custody of. I was horny and attracted to him, and even though those were TWO BIG THINGS I didn't want in a man, I stayed, because as I said, Horny and attracted to him. That relationship lasted 18 months but not a solid 18 months as there were break ups and make ups and ABUSE in between! Physical and emotional.

When I officially ended it in 2017 with him (Met him in late 2015. Got together pretty much the whole of 2016 and then late 2016, he goes to his parents in Susanville because of lack of money and by this time, he had been very hooked on drugs and was homeless if not for his parents!).

2017 - Took a break from dating. I was 33.

2018- I did a Friends with Benefits thing. But that didn't last because I was still trying to get over my last serious relationship and I felt disrrespected by my friends with benefits.

2019- Took a break from dating.

2020- Covid hit and had no choice but to take another break from dating. And lol, last serious guy, up at this point, comes back and wants to try again! That lasted a week.

2021 - Met AJ, Mama's boy to say the least. No thanks. Only lasted a month.

2022 - Last serious guy (up at this point), comes back AGAIN and stupid me takes him back. Maybe he's changed, I thought, after all these years. Nope!

2023 - Met Don. Papa's boy this time! Lol. Ugh...

DianaWest · Accepted Answer

lol, cause there's barely anything to choose from. most of the hot men are fucked in the head and so are the average and ugly ones. to be fair, most women are fucked in the head too. our parents' and grandparents' generation was much more authentic and had good intentions. this hookup culture is bullshit. at least the hot ones are nice to look at. but i will find a decent guy cause i'm amazing, and he has to be amazing as well. in both looks and personality.

Unit1 · Accepted Answer

Girls don't love me. Really, they don't. Don't ask me why.

And then I was working full time and was very busy with university simultaneously.

Add not knowing how to date or talk to women because nobody taught me and I haven't gotten any opportunities to do that.

Oh and try being a migrant in a vastly culturally different region.

On top of that being so broke you can barely afford to buy food.

Bam! That's me. 0 love and 0 sex unless I paid money (and I already said being broke) for such services.

What girl wants that?

Exactly.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Married at age 28 , but separated / divorced at 35 ... from there never actually remarried , it was such a lesson for vulnerability no matter your honesty , so the entire process really knocked me around... Had plenty of girlfriends , just none that I married as I was a lot more skeptical , I learnt a lot , and even back then in Australia the entire circumstance was very anti male , especially with children involved.

Jessica405 · Answer

All through senior school, it was nothing but studying.

Same while at uni studying for a BSc.

Same while working for my MComp.

Then BINGO!! Second Monday researching for a PhD, met this amazing guy that took a fancy to my little round bum. He had to find out who owned it.

Been together over 7 years now. My one and only guy.

exitseven · Answer

I was in a relationship with somebodyvthat lived halfway across the country. I was trying to finish college at the time and I was in a 5 year program. If I would have been able to finish I would have been 24 but I ran out of money and dropped out. Then I broke up with my girlfriend. It was a trainwreck and took me a while to recover from it

lightbulb27 · Answer

my inner child was deeply wounded so I avoided women. Poor training, not understanding myself. I needed a lot of work. My wife figured me out.

rainbowstarsxoxo · Answer

I remained single when I was 22 after a horrible break up. I was heartbroken so I never dated after that. I’m over it now.

Anonymous · Answer

In simple terms there are very few women today worth forming a relationship with. Relationships are about mutual respect, love and effort. I'll give everything that I am to a woman that reciprocates. Problem is there are very few women that are actually capable of that level of commitment. And to me relationships are simple in the fact that you're either in or out. And if you're not in, you're out. I'm fine being by myself.

serious · Answer

Well, there are lots of reasons and I have always been single.

0-limit · Answer

Gave up on relationships after too many negative experiences.

OddBeMe · Answer

Guys don’t by choice, I can promise you that. Mgtow or incel is just BS tail between their legs.

nudeNhorny · Answer

if you mean a serious commitment like marriage, then it's because I can't afford it.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

GIRLS WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME... OH WELL

The-Stud · Answer

Colaman!

serenalovesramen · Answer

im not even 20 yet looool

How and why did you remain single even into your 20s or 30s?

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