Why does it seem that men put us into two categories?

[Anonymous]

I've never been in a relationship nor date. Though sometimes, I'm wondering if I mean more to a man that cares about me as a person (as a human being) than the mere fact of not having sex yet?

Why does it seem that there are only two categories men place us as, that it's either the girl to have fun but no commitment or the virgin whose only function is to stay at home, cook and bear kids and the only thing he likes about her is her virginity, nothing else as a person, as a human? Basic it's like she's either a whore or a maid. I'm venting out because I find those two categories unfair, as if she's not being treated as a human. We're all different with different dreams, differnt hobbies, likes, etc.

I don't like staying at home all day long. I like going out camping, traveling, Judo and science clubs. As for kids, yes I will one day but not now. I can still be family oriented but also have others likes too.

Updates

+1 y

I can't stand those with a virgin fetish thing either. It makes me feel like an object, as if he doesn't even know the rest of my personality, what other things makes me me.

[Anonymous]

You have mischaracterized this. Both men and women tend to see the opposite sex as either worthy of a serious relationship or not, but we have different criteria for why we put women in one bucket or the other.

Most men don't expect or want a virgin, we just want a woman who respects herself, and her future husband enough to not be promiscuous. Most guys have no problem with a woman who has a sexual past as long as it was all within the bounds of committed relationships.

",,, virgin whose only function is to stay at home, cook and bear kids and the only thing he likes about her is her virginity, nothing else as a person, as a human"

This ^ statement is false and demonstrates a funamental misunderstanding of what most men want. Your description is an extreme. Most men was a women who makes her family and home a priority, but that doesn't mean she can't work and have a life outside the home. The problem with today's women is they have turned their backs on the things that men have always valued in women. Men love a woman who can cook, make a house a home and be a great mother. As soon as a woman stars paying others to do those things, she has made herself a commodity that can easilly be outsourced by a man. She has lowered her value as a woman.

[Asker]

Ok fair enough. Obviously you won't find a serious person at bars full of drunkards.
This is the ideal lifestyle I imagine when I finish my last year of college:
Assuming we've already dated enough time and set up my timeframe since it's obvious I can't be a childless girlfriend forever and having kids without commitment aka marriage increases the likelihood of being a single mother (lowering the dating pool)... then I would be fitting many hats; traveling on a van with my future husband and kids on vacation to see the natural habitats of animals or go camping (the cartoon ''The Wild Thornberries'' comes to mind), already advanced in martial arts and basically be active. At the same time, I can still cook and have a nice place but basically yes I like to fit many hats if possible. I imagine being the mother and wife of many hats.

[Opinion Owner]

That's cool. I hope you find the right man and enjoy your lives together.

[Lionman95]

From a guy´s point I do have three categories because it seems easy like she´s a woman I like and see a future with, she´s a woman I like in the moment and she´s not attractive to me. It might seem like there are only two categories because those are most talked about. It´s not like you´re either a maid or fuck toy to say in not sensitive terms.
It´s rather a set of categories social media made up because there are different women there are different kind of guys and some of them know what they want and some of them struggle. The one thing I can say for sure though is that even a guy sees you as a wife that doesn´t need to mean that you´re reduced on being a stay at home wife and a baby bearing machine so to say.
So don´t listen too much to social media because not everything that´s posted is true.

[wolfcat87]

Some men suffer from the Madonna/Whore complex. They really see everyone as a mom/saint/virgin or a whore to be used and abused. I agree that it's gross and problematic. It really does treat women as objects instead of valuing us as people with many great qualities.

All men aren't like this though. Depends on what part of the world you are in. Some cultures are much worse about it, because men and women are told to think about women that way. Western and Asian cultures are less likely to think that way, but Southern European and Latin cultures certainly have a problem with it.

Some men see every woman as an adventure, some as trophies, and some see women as genuine people to get to know.

[Asker]

Yeah it's ridiculous how some cultures still have that outdated concepts of how limited a woman can contribute in society and treat her as merely a man's object to please instead of a human being.

[LazerBean]

Fortunately, most men aren't that stupid and unreasonable.

[Asker]

I actually find it stupid if a man thinks my only purpose is being a housewife that bears him kids that I'm only good just because I'm a virgin. It's like he doesn't know anything about me overall.

[LazerBean]

I was referring to that as well...

[boggboss]

Thats not true the guys that do this are the type of guys that believe they can sleep with whoever they want and deserve a vergin when they are ready to settle down if that's the type of guy you are appealing to then fair enough but let's not pretend their are not women that manage to have a life whilst being in a committed relationship

[Asker]

yeah I hate hypocrites. I ditched one that was like that and he had a pikachu expression on his face. For whatever reason, he really thought that he deserved me, lol

[boggboss]

But thats my point if u choose to entertain men like that I'm not sure what u expect to be honest no where close to all men are like this