Agree or Disagree: Women want to ask men to marry them but fear being shamed for doing so?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not today they don't. Not in the USA. They just want your money so they can continue living their off the rails lifestyle that social media perpetrates 24/7 to feed their egos now. I know a guy in my complex that writes to women on penpal sites all over the country. On women prison sites... a lot of em are hot too... and over and over and over and over... ENDLESS profiles I've seen "I want a man who can take care of me financially, are you him?" Within the first 2 sentences on their profile. Look em up on FB and what do you see? Her partying or sitting in some fancy ride holding up fistfuls of cash-which led them right where they are... and they don't see a problem with it. They want YOU to support that lifestyle-and those are just the ones that have been caught. That doesn't count the ones on social media sites with their Cashapp address as the FIRST THING SHOWN... or the ones online on so called "job boards" that list "selling content, no meet ups." Those are all over the place too. Marriage? Any guy who thinks that's what they want nowadays is straight stuck on stupid.🤝

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

My advice to women on this  is don’t make it a surprise for a man.  Have conversations with him to see where he stands.  Women tend to dream more about the big “wedding day” much more than men do. Some men have this daydream but truth is most don’t. That’s not to say men don’t want to get married. Many do. But the “prince and bride” wedding day isn’t something we think about as much.

electromagnetic · Accepted Answer

I feel like men proposing is still very much a western practice.
In my culture if you wanna marry someone. After both parties mutually agree, you go to the girls family and ask her dad or men in her family. The purpose is to unite families. I didn’t get a proposal and I’m okay with that. We dated for years then one day, he said let’s get married.
Of course I still got the fancy ring and the dazzle but it was something we both felt ready for and not, ‘will you marry me’ in hopes they don’t say no. It’s a lot of pressure.

Personally though, I wouldn’t propose if that was ever an option for me.

DeeDeeDeVour · Accepted Answer

I'd encourage:  "Go for it!"  A confident woman need not fear her actions nor being stereotyped.

Avicenna · Answer

If you are that concerned about what other people think, you have a problem. I doubt women want to do what the woman is doing in that photo.

Summerlazing · Answer

Yes and no! I think some women would just go for it, but feel they can’t or shouldn’t.

But honestly I think that a lot of girls wouldn’t dream of it as they have the Disney Princess fantasy of having the idealised “romantic” proposal and being swept off their feet.

Personally I think that’s silly and it’s loads of unfair pressure on a man. It was never my thing and I actually found it really uncomfortable when my ex husband proposed to me in the middle of a busy restaurant. The waitresses were in on it and there was cheering and I just wanted to curl up and die! Needless to say he never really got me.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

I wouldn't be afraid of being shamed. I'd be afraid of the guy just going along with it. Especially in long-term adult relationships, when they've been together for 5+ years, sometimes more, and the guy hasn't shown he wants to move forward in any way, it's likely if left up to him, they never would. Women are a lot less likely to settle for a mediocre relationship or a partner they don't really love than a guy is. So I'd appreciate being proposed to first as a sign of committed initiative.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I would ask my boyfriend as I feel ready for it and this year is the year right since it's a leap year. But I feel like it kind of takes away the romance that comes from the tradition of waiting for my man to pick me.

People might shout patriarchy/misogyny and all that stuff but actually I think it's important to have conversations with your partner before hand to know that this is what you are working towards.

So that when the time is right he asks you because he is ready to step up and make that commitment to you.

I believe a good man is the leader of the household. That is the beginning stage of him taking that ownership. But a husband knows he can't succeed without a good woman on his side.

So yes to break tradition I'd ask but deep down I actually want to be asked

Mr_twoface · Answer

Traditionally especially in westernised cultures it has been more common for men to propose marriage to women, and some social norms and expectations surrounding marriage proposals can make women feel hesitant about taking the initiative. However, societal attitudes are evolving, and there is no inherent reason why women cannot propose to men. In modern society, it's becoming increasingly acceptable for women to propose marriage to their partners, and there is no reason for them to fear shame for doing so.

MsBell2018 · Answer

I'm a traditionalist on this subject. I want to be romantically proposed to. If I'm with a gentleman & we're dating for some time, I may initiate a "where do you see this going?" conversation just so we know where each stands. If we know & agree marriage is the goal, then I'm only waiting so long for a proposal. If it doesn't happen, that's a whole other conversation & will more than likely end in termination because I'll feel I'm being strung along or lied to after years of investing time, my heart & love into someone that isn't willing to make the full commitment to me like I am to them & what we'd agreed we'd wanted.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm pretty traditional when it comes to these sort of issues in relationships. I wanted my man to pursue me, and that includes wanting him to propose to me (not for me to propose to him). Also, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. I really want him to sweep me off my feet when he proposes to me.

Also, I feel like if he really wants to marry me he will propose to me. If I have to propose to him it feels a lot more like he's not interested enough in marrying me to do the actual proposing.

beebella · Answer

I assume most men who want to get married prefer to be the one doing the proposing, but I'm not a man, so what do I know? 🤷‍♀️

bolverk · Answer

No, The reason that women rarely propose to men is they have a pathological fear of  REJECTION,  Men have come to accept that rejection is a fact of life, for women it would be a 'life ending' experience as they are not used to dealing with rejection in any form, there are load of videos on youtube, tiktok, etc showing women loosing it when they get rejected.

Tomblebee · Answer

Well if you view marriage as a trap for guys who would rather go freely spread thier seed without connecting emotionally, it would be embarrassing to ask someone if you could trap them. It's more of a vulnerable thing for a guy, asking if a woman would trap them, but be nice about it.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I have no idea but would she be willing to buy the engagement and wedding rings and pay for the wedding ceremony? I'd take on her surname if so!

I figured it's like asking for a date. We guys usually do it since we're expected to arrange and pay for the whole thing and take on a leadership role throughout the process with the woman following us around.

livin_hi_808 · Answer

I feel you should've worded that differently but I'll see if I get it. Do women want to ask men but afraid of being shamed? Yes, there are definitely women who want to ask men and in that same bunch, they're probably afraid of rejection more than being shamed lol.

HawkPerception · Answer

I'd prefer being the one to ask my partner to marry me. When I'm in a relationship I'm very vocal about my intention to marry her and when it could possibly happen. But I've had a proposal idea in my head since I was like 16 years old. I wouldn't want that vision taken away from me.

If a girl I loved asked to marry me, I'd probably say yes to not reject her, but I'd tell her quietly to return the ring because I've always wanted to be the one to propose.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I'm not taking away that moment from my man. I'll keep doing my best and if he thinks I'm it, he'll get on one knee. I like the man doing it. I'm not afraid or ashamed. I just want to have him do it. With the divorce rates and stories I really want him to do it. If despite all that, he still wants to do it. A big moment. All his <3

Pohjolan · Answer

In some cultures women proposing is not a taboo.

Like in Funland it has been permitted for the woman to propose on February 29:th* since ancient times. If the man declines he has the obligation to gift the woman some garments.

*Leap year day.

Mado108 · Answer

I’d rather mop the ocean floor than to propose to a man…

Anonymous · Answer

I think there are a small minority of women who do, but most prefer being the one who is "pursued" and feel like they shouldn't have to be the one who asks. It's the same entitled minset that still makes most women think men should ask women on dates and pay for them too.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Being older it is a tradition that the guy asks, but if someone whom I really cared about I'm pretty sure I would take it as a great honor that she asked me and would depending on the relationship and where we are in it would say yes.

molonski2 · Answer

Id agree , I think it would be rather uncomfortable however , and I think they'd be more likely to surprise , which could make things awkward , indeed.

bobalife · Answer

I disagreed, I think there are a few number of women who doesn’t mind and will propose :) power to those ladies! There are a majority who would prefer the traditional proposal by a man.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I asked my husband (in another case, I would be unwed until now, lol)

elizamichale1 · Answer

I agree to ur statement but if it was me who fancied asking someone i wouldn't really mind... i would feel happy to propose n well uf it wouldn't go my way i would understand

SolitarySolace · Answer

Women don’t care about men enough to do the asking. Whether it’s along a man on a date or proposing. Besides if a woman proposed to be I’d feel like she were feminizing me in public and I would absolutely hate that and wouldn’t want anything to do with her.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m not sure but that’s an interesting question. Personally I’d rather wait for him to ask but that’s because I’m a rather passive person.

steveusna · Answer

I knew a woman who proposed to and married her husband right after college. They remained married for 30 years before divorcing. She admitted to me that she was embarrassed that she had to ask him to marry her.

FreyaRed · Answer

Nope. I have some expectation even those are really minimal

Indio1375 · Answer

I don't see you there should be any problem with it

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I've had multiple women propose to me. They can't hate it that much.

strateguy632 · Answer

disagree. lady want to get asked, and from the right gy.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Nah I would never ask a man. If doesn't ask, he clearly doesn't want to do it lol.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Most of us want to be the one doing the proposing I mean after all women get the whole dang wedding, the proposal is our thing.

RavVid · Answer

Women take rejection very badly and would like to speed things but won't risk it.

SotiCoto · Answer

Would any woman seriously want to propose to some beige-suited twat with a man-bun and a neckbeard? I think this goes beyond shame.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Most women want commitment from men. But she wants her commitment to be OPTIONAL, based on whatever thoughts are rattling around in her head. If a woman was to propose that would make her feel "responsible" for something. And she can't have that.

Passerby2 · Answer

Aw. Cute. It'd be my privilege to say no lol.

litty736 · Answer

Disagree. Women now have more rights than ever and since this practice is uncommon we know that most women dont agree to do it

msc545 · Answer

They worry that be asking they will lose face with other women and will lose power over the man.

McKellar · Answer

The way I look at it is... don't feel shamed to ask them. Better yet, discuss it out with them. I would.

Anonymous · Answer

I would never do that and never had to. How humiliating. hahaha

swordbreaker · Answer

This is the complete social pressure, there is a perception that women cannot do it.

βιυεsκγs · Answer

I’m a woman and I don't want to propose to my guy, I much prefer he does it

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I guess I agree but I am not sure who is going to shame them.

OddBeMe · Answer

I certainly hate the fcks who do it at events. didn't pay to see may lou say yes.

Brianp · Answer

I think it should not matter who asks the “ will you marry me “ question because it is love between two people that is important

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not true at all.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a matter of laziness and "why should I when it's his job"

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Your proposal Your love. Women who don't want to. Leave them mean. Who fear, leave them mongering. Who do it full throttle they happen to enjoy life and are really loved. They only can bring happiness to your life dynamism that is.

Ds4739 · Answer

I think it's more they fear picking the wrong guy. Yes, if he is a man, he's at LEAST going to have the conversation.

Tamera952 · Answer

What country are you referring to? Never knew this was a thing..

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

Disagree - I believe there are many ladies who want to be married, but also know by popping the question; they would publicly emasculate their lover

Alex-Snow · Answer

I think it is ok for them to ask and they should not be ashamed

DextroShade · Answer

It's more because women cannot handle rejection or even the possibility of it well AT ALL.

AdrienneNelly · Answer

you need help if u believe this… and a BIG reality check

aspirant2907 · Answer

I think women should do it to because how someone know that you love him if you don't confess your true feelings. we are also human.

Anonymous · Answer

We definitely learned our lesson and ain't gonna ask them no more!

jaskin777 · Answer

Hellno  Man has to do it

boobliker · Answer

it's down to them both

Likes2drive · Answer

Some do but most want the man to ask

In_Trance · Answer

I think most will disagree

FenixG45 · Answer

I think they want to but are afraid.

Agree or Disagree: Women want to ask men to marry them but fear being shamed for doing so?

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Agree or Disagree: Women want to ask men to marry them but fear being shamed for doing so?

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