Why do we always think we’re not good enough if someone doesn’t like us romantically?

[Anonymous]

[ZamerZ]

Because we base our self-worth on how people treat us and that is inherently stupid and toxic to do, but we all fall victim to it. Society is obsessed with the idea that you need a romantic partner to be "complete" and if you don't, there must be something wrong with you. It puts everyone under pressure - and besides that, it's just normal to wonder how someone could reject you when you have strong feeling is for them. Sometimes it's also the realization or perception that they mean more to you than you mean to them. The only thing we can do is look for healthy coping mechanisms and move on with the mindset that sometimes it's not meant to be - and that it doesn't have anything to do with our worth as a person.

[turnpost]

I honestly think if a person didn't want to pair up you dont have to really. But I feel like I am missing out. Romance is such nice feeling.

We want things to last but nothing is ever constant except change we dont want the fleeting moment to flee but as nature has it it must go one day.

[WhitneySnow]

Society’s emphasis on romance as the be all and end all of a girl’s life

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've literally never thought that. I've thought I wasn't good enough for her, which is objective fact, but in no way is that reflective in the more general "am I good enough."

I'm not good enough for the NFL because I'm 100lbs too light and have had enough TBI that i'd never get on the field. I'm not good enough for the NBA because I've got bad knees and I'm too short. Doesn't make me suck as a person, makes me not good enough for that specific, precise thing, of which I've no great desire to be part of.

I don't want to be with a partner that doesn't think I'm good enough, so I'll gladly go somewhere else.

[Sonorous]

Well I mean there are many levels to this stuff. I don't know all of them. But at the foundation it may be evolution. DNA seeking to be propagated. Next it may be how the brain needs to function in order to do evolutions bidding. And then there are all the little thoughts, behaviors, emotions, etc that come from that. And then we need to simplify things to be able to "comprehend" them well enough to stay on course.

[HawkPerception]

Because someone that we want to get with is implying we're not good enough to be with them. That's why rejection can be hard. And it's hard to change your mindset about rejection, but once you realize not everyone is going to be into you and you're not going to be into everyone, you can start to accept things as they are.

[JHAYES317]

Because people place a lot of worth on how desirable we are. When I realized women didn’t find me attractive, it definitely hurt my ego, but hey that just means I gotta save up to get cosmetic surgery, so at least I got a path.

[ProbablyClueless]

Because we hold the person in high regard and we're disappointed that they don't see us in the same light.

[Phoenix98]

Everyone is their own worst critic.

no one will ever criticize you like you criticize yourself.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It's the simple math of you seemed good enough for me, why wasn't I good enough for you?

[exitseven]

Because evidently somebody that is important thinks the same thing.

[Goodboy11]

We are human and its normal to questioning ourselves when feelings are broken

[Roudyrebel8]

Cause we have a naturally low opinion of ourselves but it's not true

[Anonymous]

If they don't want us romantically then obviously we are not good enough for that person.

[lightbulb27]

we don't, that's ones self image.

[_Lynx]

Exactly

[RedInnocent68]

Imposter syndrome. Reinforces it.

[Anonymous]

Speak for yourself.