Did he find me unattractive on the date or was he playing me?

[Anonymous]

I was guarded pretty annoyingly bad when we first started talking and I felt maybe he was a bit interested bc he took initiative and he was patient and said certain things non flirty things to make me think and give it ago

when I agreed to take things slow he asked “what does that entail “… I said taking things slow

I noticed that he was kind of backing away and I asked him why… he asked do you want me to be interested or just friends…he said he’s just being careful because I brought in a lot of confusion in the beginning “….

he also took two days to text me once and said “sorry super busy “…. Yeah whatever

he did make it seem like he was possibly interested in something serious bc he said he thought I was…

Then on the date he asked me what I wanted and I tell him to go first…. The he hits me with I’m not where I want to be career wise… I just agreed with him at this point and told him the same thing which wasn’t true…

He accused me of just copying him and I said I’m on whatever time you’re on… he didn’t really like that but he replied “no you’re not on my time “

anyway no second date… I really liked him and felt hurt

[incorrected]

"I just agreed with him at this point and told him the same thing which wasn’t true…

He accused me of just copying him and I said I’m on whatever time you’re on…"

Well, you did say you just lied to him, so he was right. He was asking if you just wanted to be friends because 90% of men, especially young men, end up used by women as emotional tampons and end up in the "friend" zone, so these days if there's no obvious interest it's better to find out early and leave; time is short!

[Asker]

No he was leaning to something casual and he rejected me a month later

He said he didn’t want to put time if we weren’t going to eventually have sx even though on the date he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship.

[incorrected]

Ahh, that clears it up! You were absolutely being played. He might have found you attractive AND only wanted sex, or he might just have wanted sex and chose you because he could get you. I don't like either kind of man to be honest, because I'm an old fashioned romantic at heart and don't think sex is even real until the heart is involved fully; I have had sex, but I still consider myself a virgin because I felt much the same afterwards, if a little cold inside, and lonelier than I started. :)

[Zestyassmf1997]

Sounds like there wasn’t much chemistry.

[Asker]

I think I came off as unintelligent… I was so shy…

[incorrected]

Honestly, I don't think you should worry about how you came off. Based on what you told me already, he wasn't a man worth having, just a walking STD risk with no heart. There are too many like that.