Why would he lead me on?

[katemeeko]

I met a guy last month on a dating app. We went out on a date and it was a bit awkward but it went good. We then went on a second date together and I really liked him a lot. We had a lot of similarities and interests. I never felt that kind of chemistry with anyone ever. We then went on a few more dates and really wanted to see me whenever I was free. Texted me throughout the day as well. He asked me exclusive too. He then told me that he had to leave two weeks with his family. We got even closer long distance and told me things like "I was the girl of his dreams, and he wanted me to come on the family trip with him later in the year." He also said that when he got back he wanted to see me every single day and wanted to basically live with him. When he got back we spent the night together and everything went great. Had to leave at 11 am though because he had work which I get. That day I expected him to be all over me like he was when we were long distance but he acted very distant that day. When I asked him he said he had a lot of work which I totally get. Later that night I asked if he could call me because I was feeling vulnerable and wanted to talk. He said that he was tired and I was being inconsiderate which I thought was rude. At the point I was confused what happened to the guy who was obsessed with me. I know someone would say "he just got what he wanted sexually." but A. we didn't do that and B. he really wasn't like that.

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The next few days he acted kind of cold and didn't ask when I was coming over again. I got really annoyed and mad because this wasn't the same guy I knew who was obsessed with me. I went over to his place last Friday and waited in his lobby for an hour. I told him how I felt crying as he just stared at me and we made up... that night he ghosted me and I got really mad. The next day I went over and wanted to break up. We made up... and then I spent the night. I thought everything was fine and the

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I thought everything was fine and then he told me that I couldn't spend the night on Sunday because he had "work." Which did not make sense because he was free on the weekends. I felt really used and sad tbh. Even if I were to bring up how I felt I knew he would find some way to twist it. I wanted like boyfriend where we spend the weekends together and do things like he said we would. Always felt like he just kicked me out.

[BadApple69]

It’s my opinion where he asked you to be exclusive that maybe he wasn’t. Sounds like he might be trying out another girl at the same time.
Hate to say this but that’s what it sounds like to me.

[katemeeko]

he wanted to be exclusive early on with me and told his family about me.

[BadApple69]

Well what guys say and what they do is often a different thing. Communications is always key. Talk to him about it. See what info you can get out of him.

[katemeeko]

its the typical guy thing where he says one thing and his actions say another then making me look crazy for even bringing it up.

[BadApple69]

It’s a people thing. Women can be just as bad sometimes… but I agree men have are pretty bad at times.

[katemeeko]

This is the rest of story that was too long to post:

That week I laid low and didn't contact him first. He would go five hours without texting me at times and no "I miss you or I can't wait to see you." I was one mile away from him at college and could care less. Felt like he was treating me like a bro. Two weeks prior I mentioned Valentines Day and that I wanted to stay home and make dinner. He texted me on Valentines and said "Do you want to chill." I felt like a frat guy texted me. I told him sure, and that I might look bloated because I went to the doctors and my tonsils are swollen. He said that it wasn't a good idea for me to come then. I told him I was feeling totally fine and it was more of an insecurity. I was on the way there to give him his Valentines gift and he told me to go home. I waited by his door step for three hours. I never in my life have been this kind of desperate stalker like girl. I think I was just trying so hard to make things work and he could care less. I went home and blocked him. I unblocked him today and he hasn't responded to my text messages.

I should also mention that he has bad ocd so maybe that is why he did not want me at his place. Also drinks a lot.

I just don't get how someone could change like that. Starting to think that if anything he said was real or not because it sure felt like it. I feel catfished and led on. I did not do anything wrong. He completely changed after he got back. I have contacted him for closure and now he has ghosted me.

[BadApple69]

I am sorry this happened to you. Yes I think he was full of crap. I believe he was seeing at least another girl (maybe more) and after telling you he wanted to be exclusive he found a girl he likes better.
Now if in a few weeks (or less) he comes back to you with some lame excuse it’s only because the other girl didn’t work out. Sorry to say… I know guys like this.
And I’m sorry again for what he put you through.

[Drew-1990]

You said you just spent the night no sex, maybe he wanted sex and when you didn't give it to him he lost interest. Not all but lots of guys are like that. They act like they are not that guy but they are.

[laly520]

its called being lovebombed
he did it in beginning then stopped
very toxic pattern

[Truthatanycost]

Until women re-learn the gravity, importance and meaning of sex, situations like this will continue to repeat. Men need to re-learn this as well, but generally women are the gate keepers of sex and men the gate keepers of relationships.