I am 30, I'm 6ft2 I'm very attractive not to brag just to offer a perspective.
I recently started dating seriously for one year.
I was an overweight more "uglier" looking guy before so I know both sides of the coin of dating apps.
At the start of my dating journey, I went on many dates with girls I thought were ok looking not super attractive... of-course I wasn't well versed in dating and was probably interviewing them etc also seemed to be how I felt valued by the app in terms of the girls i was matching with. Later on became more experienced in dating. To me it seems the dating apps favours big sample size of girls... like slightly less average looking girls - and favours immensely the attractive girls no doubt in comparison to the guys... this seems a no brainer to many of you who may read this. When I am with my female friends or meet new (female) people and the topic arises... its a shock and a frustration to me in my mind how there is no awareness or knowledge about this. The vast majority think both men and women have it the same in online dating. Many people may say that looks is not everything... I agree with that notion and many people may say this... but to me it seems that this is a diversion for my experience to lay blame and not recognise my experience. I am confident in who I am as person and who I am in my personality. I find that society now is reliant on dating apps and there is far too much choice for the majority of women. Sometimes I feel quite validated by dating apps and feel on top of the world and feel validated and relieved... Dating apps can really knock your self esteem sometimes. I must admit that recently maybe the stars have align or there moon is full or something lol... I have been more fortunate that I have been going out with girls I'm really attractive too which is validating and perhaps maybe my algorithm is changing for the best.
2 mo
Online dating/dating is brutal for guys, how come the majority of girls don't understand or are open to hear the male experience of dating apps?
Updates
2 mo
My main point is if it's not a walk in the park for me... Imagine what the average guy has to deal with... I really empathise with men. It's not an easy task. Often or not I will hear more about how men are so disgusting on the apps. Which I can understand how it could happen. I am always respectful but lets say someone similar to me wants a hook up he will message girls who he may be perceived less conventionally attractive and message like 20 girls...
Updates
2 mo
lets say 19 are absolutely disgusted by that crude very forward first message... but one of the girls accepts the offer of a casual hook up. We can agree it can feel hurtful for those other girls to be subjected to that, but what about the girl that accepts the offer is that interaction of both consenting counterparts is that acceptable?
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Opinion
2Opinion
i've never really tried any of the newer dating aps but years ago tried some dating sites. for guys online dating can be any option but should not be there only option as it may or may not lead anywhere. and could just get frustrated with the whole experience
i recently dealt with a group of girls in my hometown , mostly attractive 20-30 somethings who already had boyfriend's , i attempted to try and get along with them but they simply did not understand what i was going through being single at this age and unable to find someone. cause to them , they easily found someone they liked and dating wasn't really a chore or a struggle like it is to me. they just didn't get what i was dealing with or understood what its like to be in this spot
It must be hard that interaction for you, it is for me. I only new that i could attract super attractive girls from gambling and smiling with very attractive girls on the train... but i was at fault for not speaking to them. The best option is in person... its just the girls have a plethora of options on the app where they will spend 5minutes or a considerable less time to the average guy I sometimes spend a lot of time on it, they know if all fails on a night out they can just hop on the phone. So they don't have to fully be as motivated find importance to meet someone in person. I guess the best way for us men that may not feel understood... is analogy. I am christian but take it in a different way. The saying is "forgive them; for they do not know what they're doing"
these girls knew that i was having a tough time and they offered up like virtually nothing to solve the problem. so i feel like they did know what they were doing , maybe they just didn't know or want to deal with me. but the whole experience left me feeling cold and them rather heartless.
but reality is life goes on and is women out there looking for love , the bar last time was like packed with women looking for love , almost like a post v day disappointed crowd now at the bar trying to find what they could not find a couple days ago , i did buy this girl a drink too , don't really know much about her other than i keep seeing her and her girlfriend's at same bar , i don't even have her name or # , well she told me a first name once but never been able to find them online
Because girls don't know what they want these days. Neither do men.
Thats a fair statement. In my experience I properly started dating way later in life. I have never been in a relationship, and do not want to rush into something. What intrigues me is cold approach and meeting people in the real world like flirting in pubs bars in public etc need to do this more i find the idea fun. I guess these dating apps add a further confusion as there is too much choice. I am fortunate in the way I look I am grateful but it is still not as easy as it may seem. My main kinda point is from the girls perspective to the majority of them they are not aware of how hard it is for a normal guy, perhaps not just women we have all be desensitised to what real life is. I remember when i was more overweight... it was brutal this was years back I suspect its way worse now.
Because feminism