Why do average women say they have it tough on dating apps if they're mostly being approached by average men?

[Kaamraj]

Women claim that dating is difficult for them also and the reason being quantity over quality. They are getting lots of matches but most of them aren't worth it. Well most women are average, most men are average, so how can the average woman call the average man below her?

[Anonymous]

You have to understand for starters that most women on dating apps are angry that they're on a dating app to begin with. Most women feel dating apps beneath them. Read thier bios, look at how many say "we can say we met somewhere else". Because she doesn't want to admit that had to resort to a dating app. So how do you think things are going to go when a woman has a negative attitude going in?

Secondly the next thing women hate about dating apps. Is the cannot hide why they are there. That's why you see so many women put in thier bios, "just seeing what's out there". She wants to make it clear she's just really window shopping, she doesn't really need a dating app.😆. Women have a silly pride about this.

Thirdly, and this piggybacks on point number 2. Because she can't hide why she's there it exposes her. If she's at bar with friends she can say she's just out with her friends and she is not looking to meet any guy and she has plausible deniability. She can't do that on a dating app. It OBVIOUS why she's there. Women don't like ceding that high ground, in the dating war so to speak.

So you see they don't have it tough. They just lose all of thier advantages on dating apps. That's why they don't like it.

[Kaamraj]

Some brilliant points put forward by yourself good sir.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks man. I could have listed more but I think it only allows like 5000 characters.😆

[MrOracle]

Women don't go on dating apps to get average men, they go on them to get top 5% (or better) men. This is no less true of a 3/10 then it is for a 9/10. Most women consider themselves to be a 10/10, so why would they waste time with an average guy? Average guys are invisible to them.

Meanwhile, every woman matches with or is in the DMs of all of the top 5-10% men, and those men just use them for casual sex and then discard them like a used Kleenex.

That's why online dating is completely toxic and a waste of time.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most of the women on there are not looking for the top guys, they are looking for the guys who treat them like kleenex, and their lack of effort filling out profiles with picky requirements is evidence of that, because thats the only way to avoid those guys.

Everyone has a different idea of whats better, but being interesting, talented, or smart means there aren't any matches on those sites.

Most women on those apps/sites are ones who want to either casually fuck or steal your money or both.

Despite this, online dating is still the only worthwhile form of dating, because even though its mostly toxic garbage, if you were to go to a bar, club, or other local venue in person, its ALL toxic garbage.

Though even then, it's still shit odds you will find anything, because 99.99999999999% of the good ones are at their home on their free time, not using dating sites, and pretending to be men online so real men don't bother them, so the only way to meet them is friends of friends or friends of family or school/college/work.

Dating is fucked right now, no good option exists to find a real match.

[MrOracle]

Online dating is pointless for anyone actually looking for a serious relationship, as are bars and clubs. The best way to meet people for relationships is through your circles of friends, and if that isn't enough, then to get involved in coed activities (cooking class, bowling league, etc.) with the goal of building new circles of friends.

You are right that the people you are looking for aren't on dating apps or at bars and clubs, but many of them are involved in activities that aren't traditional avenues for "hooking up" (casual sex), so you can find them there.

[Anonymous]

When they say the men who match them aren't worth it they aren't talking about looks. They are talking about them not being fit for an actual relationship. Things like being here only for sex, being married, being a deadbeat bum,(which does not mean they are looking for a millionnaire either), having kids he either abandoned or are trying to force on you, being a woman hater... All that sorts of thing. If you think a man being all of these things makes him an average man well sorry but most average women are out of their leagues then. Again not talking about looks but about being fit for a relationship.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Most average women aren't relationship material either, especially on dating apps.

[DarkWinterNights]

Odd how women always seem to match with those types…

[Smashingdoozy]

The "average" man is starting the conversation like "nice rack mama".

[Kaamraj]

That's not true.

[Smashingdoozy]

Huh weird... pretty sure I'm a woman who has been on dating sites and experienced such.

They're either 1. Disgustingly inappropriate or 2. Boring as fuck and can't hold a conversation to save their life.

[Kaamraj]

So the average man (most of them) open up with the lines you've mentioned? And why is the onus of carrying on the conversation on the man only?

[Smashingdoozy]

Yep, in my experience that is the case. I didn't say it was, but it's pretty hard to have a conversation with someone who only responds to questions with closed ended answers.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

People tend to attract their complement (s).

[Smashingdoozy]

@DummyThiccFeraligatr elaborate

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

@Smashingdoozy

Ruminate on it. You'll understand my meaning, if not already.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe the subpar men are much more active on dating sites.

[msc545]

They are not. Their trauma history from these sites is much more intense.

[EricSummer]

An average woman can easily get free casual sex. However, most want a committed long-term relationship. They want a boyfriend to love and to be loved. This makes it difficult, about the same as for a man.

On the way there, she will usually be expected to "put out". In addition, the guy will wonder if she gives head and how well she does it, among other things.

You could say she hands out free samples of sex. However, many men are in it only for these samples and will move on at the soonest opportunity.

This can cause frustration and it is also a bit disgusting in the long run, to be honest.

[Kaamraj]

I disagree on your point of their difficulty being in the same level as men because most men don't even have the choice whereas women have abundance in choice yet still go for the top 5% who aren't interested in settling down, why should they be if they're getting all the attention

[EricSummer]

Specifically in online dating I agree that some of these mechanisms occur. The choice is overwhelming for the women and the same men tend to be attractive to most women. The wish to "date up" does not play in a woman's favor there.

Still, it will not be a magic bullet for her to somewhat lower her standards, but still use online dating. For example, you are on two dating platforms and you do not see yourself as part of the top 5%. However, are you prepared to give a woman love and long-term commitment? Or are you also someone she should avoid if she had complete information about your motivations?

From my point of view, the only conclusion is to avoid online dating and meet your partner in real life. About 70% of people find a partner eventually (including online, but mainly offline), so it is quite possible.

By the way, when using technology, a platform for activities, for example to find hiking partners, could be just fine. Only the outright commercial dating apps are not useful.

[Kaamraj]

Well sir, if you are saying that will the average man be ready to give her a commitment, the answer is there's a high probability, but if he's not given a chance then I guess we will never know the answer. As for me, realistically I am within the top 5% in the country I am in and I have earned it via my education and hard work in the electrical industry and i would not want to settle down because when i was growing up i also wanted a relationship but no woman gave me a chance, it's my turn now.

[EricSummer]

Honestly, you are making this difficult for yourself and the women. If you are now the elite of your country, why not find a good woman and be with her? It should be a new acquaintance, of course, not one who refused you in the past.

[Kaamraj]

I live in a country where polygamy is accepted. I feel that I missed out one many things while growing up. One of them being female sexual attention. Most women dont want me for me, but my money and what I can do for them, so they dont deserve my commitment either. I will get married but not until I have had the same amount of fun that they have enjoyed as default.

[EricSummer]

I see. So you will be a decent pick at some date in the future.

Currently, it would be better for a self-respecting woman to pass you by. Still, you may deceive her for the moment.

In fact, your own case shows how difficult it is for a woman.
Some will see your lack of dating experience as a red flag which turns out to be a sensible strategy.

[Kaamraj]

I am a decent pic now, but I choose not to settle down. I do not deceive anyone, the women deceive themselves by thinking that I will settle down with them and take them out of their poverty. They have a chance to work as hard as myself also, but they choose not to, so they are definitely not the victims here. How is it difficult for women if they are actively choosing people like me and ignoring most men who would be happy to settle down? I do not lack dating experience but I admit it's not dating in traditional sense as yes I do purchase or bully my way in. As the local strong man, their denial to date me may result in their govt. rations being cancelled or other things. I admit that it's morally wrong to do such things, but I am hurt, and therefore I continue to hurt others, seeking what I missed out on.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"Well most women are average, most men are average, so how can the average woman call the average man below her?"

She can't, at least not without being a hypocrite.

I don't like most women on dating apps, but I'm also not average.

[DextroShade]

Feminism and social media have convinced the average woman that she is better than the average man, which obviously isn't true. So now these women hold out for men they don't qualify for until they hit the wall, then they die alone.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Or she settles for a man she doesn't even like and possibly resents... which never ends well.

[inhua]

it's like a rich person living in luxurious mansions claiming they have more problems than a broke person living in a war torn country with no food, water and electricity

[genericname85]

cause women aim at least 3 steps up on the attractiveness scale. men that are on their level aren't interesting to them.

[sheikalana]

They think they deserve a man who is out of their league.

[A_Bell]

I'm glad I've never seriously tried dating apps. Real life isn't perfect, but it's better and less lonely and self abusive.

[dolemite58]

cuz hypergamy is women’s nature. A girl that’s a 5 or 6 wants a guy that’s an 8. Women act like shit to guys that are at their same level.

[Anonymous]

Dating apps are tough for everyone because they are primarily nothing more than money-making scams.

[Kaamraj]

I would argue they are only tough for men as men don't even get the choice to match and select. And it's overwhelmingly men who pay for the app subscriptions.

[Inbox]

@Kaamraj Yeah, they did an experiment where they put a very unattractive woman on Tinder and within 2 days she had around 200 likes. Now, how many dates would she actually have gone on with men she chose out of those 200, that is the question.

[Chthou95]

Welcome to modern dating in 2023. Women want the top 20% and won't accept the average anymore. a lot of women think they deserve a high value man without offering the high value men much

[msc545]

Because they WANT rich, tall, good-looking guys.

[Apple1996]

Because only trash men are on dating apps

[Kaamraj]

And all the women there are classy?

[Apple1996]

Basically yeah. I won't say all but most women make themselves dateable even if they are single or already taken. We always have the drive to impress a man and be desirable.
Men only try to make themselves desirable when dating which is kind of a turn off if that makes sense. Maybe I'm just speaking nonsense cause I've never been on dating apps but this is what I see from a outsider looking in at that stuff

[Awesomesauce2005]

Im not trash, and im on two. I found pretty girls that would message me and act interested and would back out at the last minute before the first date.

[Giddyup]

OK bold statement by you. Guess I am trash, Thanks

[Awesomesauce2005]

@Giddyup how so?

[Giddyup]

@Awesomesauce2005 "Because only trash men are on dating apps"

[Awesomesauce2005]

@Giddyup so you are insinuating that I am trash?

[Apple1996]

@Awesomesauce2005 you are too young to be trash on a dating site. Young guys get a pass

[Awesomesauce2005]

In a way ig, young guys get passed by women lol

[Giddyup]

@Awesomesauce2005 No I was quoting Apples comment, she thinks we are trash! But apparently you get a pass, so it is just me who is trash. Apples sounds like my ex wife...

[Apple1996]

@Giddyup me and your ex would be friends then lol

[Giddyup]

I'm sure that would be fun, talking shit about me, bringing two people together is always my goal!

[Apple1996]

@Giddyup haha you seem like a good guy so I wouldn't talk shit on you 😂

[Giddyup]

It's all good. In this case I just got bummed out when you said only trash men were on dating apps. I'm on only one now and trying. I would prefer not to be there, but it's my best shot.