Men are prizes too. Why do women always expect to be treated like they are the prize in a relationship?

Question

Why do women always expect to be treated like they are the prize in a relationship but never want to treat their man like they are also a prize? I’m a female. I am also an old soul and believe a lot of old school stuff in the roles of the woman and roles of the man in a relationship. I find so many women who expect men to treat them like they are the only prize. I also feel that a lot of women only love men under the condition that they are giving giving giving to them, once they get whatever they want they dump them.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

There is this really screwed up and extremely toxic combination of both old school chivalry and modern feminism indoctrination men have to deal with when interacting with women nowadays.

Many guys were raised with old school chivalry expectations to treat a woman like “a lady”. Then we are given all these contradictory messages via feminism that acting that way is “sexist” but even worse it’s a sign of weakness or something.

There was a time in history when women would respect a man who courted her. That doesn’t mean she would always choose him but she wouldn’t say something as asinine and insulting like “can we just be friends” after he worked his ass off trying to date her. She wouldn’t feel entitled to attention and favors just because she exists. She would respect the man and either reciprocate or if she didn’t have feelings she wouldn’t exploit it. It wasn’t supposed to be a zero sum game.

But about men being “the prize”. It’s very true that men who act mysterious and challenging do turn on women. He stands out if he doesn’t bend over backwards for her. But again men are constantly being told they are supposed to bend over backwards for women.

Nowadays there is no clear blueprint on how men are supposed to date. At least back in the sexist 50s there were well defined roles on what was appropriate and what isn’t. Most men and women knew were they stood.

That doesn’t mean it was all good back then. There were plenty if problems. But with freedom and privileges comes responsibility. And many women just don’t want to take responsibility nowadays in dating. Ironically they enable the worst kind of irresponsible men with their “freedom”’.

Adam_INTJ · Accepted Answer

I'm more of a traditionalist, and I hope thst my perspective helps to clear up the social paradox that you see.

Women believe they are the prize for two big reasons:

1. The chivalry of the bygone era showed the merit of specific practices of men treating women with different respect than other men.

However, the story of chivalry been hollowed out of its Christian roots, so it just makes women look extra special. Now, hirls only see Taylor Swift's boyfriend treating her like a lady. They don't know that the whole idea of civalry stems from the Christian belief that men are naturally leaders toward women because they are the "weaker vessel" and that righteous men lead selflessly with love.
"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7)

2. Men just have a greater sexual drive, so they will naturally express more desire towards women than women do towards men. In her perspective, it looks like 12 men are in love with her because she's a special prize, but she doesn't see that they're all also "in love" with 100 other women--not so special anymore.

I hope this helps!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Wow this is a sad, sad view of all of this. Men are prizes too. Especially the honest, kind, funny ones. Everyone deserves a chance but not all are prizes. And neither are all women. I’ve been pushed away by men I considered a prize and they knew it. So…

Biancam13 · Accepted Answer

Human beings are prizes. This shouldn't even be a debate. I don't like to separate humans into "men" and "women." We're all valuable in a relationship and out of it.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It's pretty simple especially in our modern time of feminism and equity. Women still benefit from the long standing gender roles of tradition where they were treated as such but now after the many waves of feminism they are brainwashed into thinking them working full time and going to college and having the traditional success a man has entitles them to even more. They get the best of both worlds and have the ability to leave and walk straight into a ton of new suitors and have complete independence.

Meanwhile men now have the short end of the stick and have to elevate themselves far beyond what women have to do. It's become a very what can you do for me type of selfish climate

Fireguy17 · Answer

here is a novel idea, why not just treat the other person how you like to be treated, and they in turn do the same.
Why must people keep playing all of these silly games, make him chase me, play hard to get, don't call back, it is just stupid and wastes people's time.
You either like someone or you don't.
If someone starts playing those games with me I just move on and find someone that wants me for who I am, not because I chased them fo the correct amount of time, or put them on a pedestal.

Drew-1990 · Answer

Well it's nice to hear of someone who believes that. You hear it enough, you start to forget that we can be prizes too. I honestly always thought of a girl as a prize and never myself as one. But I think you're right, We both should be.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

I'm lucky enough to have been with women who treat me as a prize just as equally.

But I know a lot of this generally comes down to behaviour and how a man carries himself. If he's a pushover and lacks confidence to back himself or stand up he will be taken advantage of regardless. Women know when to take advantage to test a man and if he folds like a cheap deckchair what is he to expect lol

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

There are a lot of women who think they are the prize but in all honesty, women who are the prize are too humble to think of themselves that way. Same for men. I appreciate your opinion and I personally am tired of the war between men and women in the dating world

Unit1 · Answer

Now this makes me want to get a girlfriend and treat her as a prize too.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

don't generalize. Not all women expect that, not even the majority. Some exceptions think like that. Most women and men see relationships as they are - the union of two people (sometimes more :D )

handsomelad70 · Answer

The dating double standard, in existence even in 2024, says women should not be too eager to be a man's partner and should force him to prove his love by constantly buying her expensive gifts and treating her like a queen. Whan an antediluvian code for modern couples.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I have a bad habit of treating the guy like too much of a prize. They are able to tell when you prioritize them and put them on a pedestal and they begin to take advantage. Both genders play that game sadly

NamerOfStars · Answer

Because they don't spend enough time in art museums. A little less time spent on social media and a little more time on Escher would do most women a world of good.

MzAsh · Answer

Good men are prizes, for sure. When they’re loyal, respectful, cooperative, emotionally intelligent, and humble, they’re amazing.

laly520 · Answer

don't generalize too much next time cuz it isn't case for every girl

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Neither is a prize, they are both treasure. A prize is something you earn/win in a competition, a treasure is something you find that is of high value to you just because you like it.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because women are selfish and want the world to revolve around them. Even those who claim they’re different. It’s a part of what it means to be a woman.

Jkgordon · Answer

That’s not true if a girl adores her guy she treats them well besides from what I’ve been seeing the guys are the ones treating girls like shhiittt~

Billlewis · Answer

No, unless they're willing to work hard to please the woman.

Dargil · Answer

Because sex is something that women  possess  and men  want .

RavVid · Answer

You are right. It is an uppity view I don't accept.

Anonymous · Answer

Embarrassing as a woman for you to generalize this way.

Anonymous · Answer

It's obvious that you don't care about your own question, this dates back thousands of years.

Men are prizes too. Why do women always expect to be treated like they are the prize in a relationship?

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