Girls, Would you date someone on probation?

[TheAstronaut]

A little context. I’m (22M) and I’ve been currently talking to this girl for about a month and I’m conflicted if I should tell her I’m on deferred probation soon or about 3-6 months in. Make a long story, I used to do psychedelics and it ended with me being on probation 7 years but I can get off in 3 1/2 years if I don’t violate it and meet all my requirements. This happened like a year ago and ever since then I don’t do ANY drugs or are around anyone/anything that’ll lead me to violate my probation. It was a big mistake. I’ve been slowly completing my probation requires and have 5 days left of labor detail and still have to start on my community service, which I plan on doing about 2-4 hrs a week. I have my own place, car, job, and am currently building a business which I plan on launching by the end of this year. I have a mentor and business advisor and work on my business nearly everyday and I am very passionate about it and I believe she can tell too or at least is really realizing it (I already told her I’m passionate about my business and just business in general). I take very good care of myself, no kids, masculine, and intelligent. But at the end of the day I feel like once she hears I’m on probation it’s gonna automatically be a no go. Any advice or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Yes

No

[SueShe]

If you want something serious with anyone, not just this girl in particular, you will invariably have to be honest and open about yourself.

If there is one thing that people don't like when dating is that vital and important information is withheld such as the one you are referring to.

Now, I congratulate you for working hard towards being clean and hardworking. That is a big plus for you.

However, if I was in the shoes of that girl, I would probably not want to date a person that is on probation, that has done jail time, that is (or was) on drugs, that smokes, gambles or has any other addictions. The risk is simply too high for a relapse. It does not have to be today or tomorrow but it could be in several months or years.

All it takes is a good incentive that you cannot (or will not) resist for you to fall back into your old pattern.

Be honest, that is the best you can do. Good luck.

[TheAstronaut]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Tell her as soon as possible. I’d feel lied and manipulated if a guy kept something like that from me for months. I’d leave either way and be very upset he wasted my time and emptions when he could have just told me from the start so I could have just never even dated him. It’s better to just be honest right away and be with someone who’ll accept it than try to lure someone in and keep it from them until you feel they’re attached. That’s a disgusting move on your part.

[TheAstronaut]

Thank you. I’m just going to let her know today and get it out the way instead of wasting time, hopefully it’s not a deal breaker for her. If it is…welp ain’t nothing I can do about. It apart of the consequences of my mistake. I appreciate the feedback

[katiesmuff]

It's not a yes or no question as there are a lot of reasons for the probation and that would be an important factor to consider.

[Anonymous]

It would depend on what he was on probation for. A first time DUI/DWAI possibly. But if it is a domestic violence or sex offense, I likely would say no thanks.

[laly520]

honestly I won't

I value my safety n won't risk it

many of guys on probation r pretty aggressive n dangerous from what I've noticed