How much does abuse and trauma shape relationships?

[Anonymous]

I ask because i had a girl leave me because I wouldn’t let her abuse me

[Oliverlogan263]

Abuse and trauma can definitely shape relationships in negative ways, man. Sounds like you dodged a bullet by not letting that girl take advantage of you. A few thoughts:

- People who experienced abuse as kids sometimes repeat those patterns without realizing it. It becomes "normal" to them.

- They may have major trust issues or control issues from past hurt. Acting abusive is a misguided way to feel in control.

- At the same time, it's not an excuse. We all have to take responsibility for how we treat others as adults.

- The best thing is to recognize those patterns, get help (like therapy) to process the past, and choose to break the cycle instead of passing it on.

- You stood up for yourself, which is good. But maybe she's still learning. Hopefully this was a wake up call that will help her grow.

- Just watch out for red flags in future girls too - don't let anyone disregard your boundaries like that again dude. You deserve respect.

Abuse can mess people up for sure. But with time and effort, patterns can change. Seems like you got a good head on your shoulders - keep doing you man!

[laly520]

some of those abusive relationships push people to end their life