Why is it cringe to ask someone out at the gym?

Question

Serious question. Why do so many people post on here about liking someone at their gym and being plagued by it? Why is it cringe to ask someone out at the gym? It seems like a great place since it’s a save environment, you both want to be healthy, and it’s up front and personal not like internet dating, etc. explain this to me!

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I mean, in one sense, it seems like it should be a great place to meet people. But it’s also a place that runs the risk of turning into a meat market REAL QUICK, lmao. And I don’t know if you’ve met dudes before, but there a lot who will take a gym in that direction if given the green light.

Women are scantily clad and/or in tight clothing, bending themselves into all kinds of suggestive positions, their bodies are being showcased….. I consider myself to be on the low end of the “creepy guy spectrum”, and even I’ll tell you…. we’re not wired to be around all that, it’s literally too much for us to handle, whether women can understand that or not😂 I mean, we can keep our mouths shut and our hands to ourselves, but you’re literally chumming shark-infested waters, lmao.

So men are at the gym trying to contain all this, and meanwhile, women everywhere have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that the gym slides in just ever-so-slightly behind “dark alley” as the place they’d least want to be approached by a man.

So as men, we’re trained to not approach you, and ideally, not even look at you. And the gym is my home away from home, so to be rejected in the “how dare you?” manner is a nightmare scenario of embarrassment. The stakes would simply be too high for me to try to approach a woman at a gym, too much can go wrong. I feel like a woman really has to take the lead in that environment, but we guys are just taught that it’s a HUGE faux-pas to even try to strike up a conversation. “I just came here to work out, leave me alone!” and all that.

So, I think as a woman you could do it. But I wouldn’t expect men to approach you first. Clear signals would have to be sent, and I mean CLEAR SIGNALS, in that environment. But at least it’s an option in your case, haha. I can’t even imagine how many more women I would’ve met back in my day at the gyms I’ve gone too, SHEESH, talk about an untapped resource, lmao. But you just had to hope to see someone at a bar or a house party and be able to lead with “don’t you go to my gym?”, that was your only hope.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because sadly most people that go to the gym are only working out , hoping to attract more people to themselves , They are exercising hoping to draw more attention to themselves , most people that have that selfish mindset don’t really want relationships, they just want sex and want things to go their way , acting like their shit don’t stink , so if things don’t go their way , they run to someone else for validation. What people don’t realize is working out doesn’t do anything for your health, it has nothing to do with your health , working out only helps you increase stamina in yourself and helps you burn fat and build muscle , it has nothing to do with health , I know so many people that exercised daily and watched what they ate , counting calories etc.. and they still dropped dead at a young age , So exercising has nothing to do with your health , it’s a money making gimmick to draw people in. I am not saying it’s bad for you to work out , it’s only bad, if you are only working out to appease someone else and to draw more attention to yourself , but if you are working out only doing it for yourself to build stamina and drop some pounds then there is nothing wrong with that. Sadly most people work out hoping to gain more attention to themselves , and making themselves feel better about themselves. , basically look at me , look at me , I am the shit , if you notice most people that go to the gym and live at the gym have cocky attitudes acting like their shit don’t stink , Why I no longer go to gyms and work out at home instead , working out at my own pace. not trying to impress anyone but myself, I don’t inject steroids into my body I like exercising as natural as I can be. So is steroids healthy for you? All I am saying is if you are seeking a real relationship long term , you are best not to date anyone from the gym , most people at the gym are just seeking validation

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I don’t know I guess it seems like people there asking are imperfect but they’re really just working on themselves, which is also a good thing?

Are they disciplined? Could be hard to say if they’re heftier. Are they self absorbed? Could be hard to say just from the looks alone of fit ones.

Also it could appear as if they don’t know how to socialize or they intentionally tried to date someone there. Like instead of going to a bar or dating app. “I’m headin to da GYMMM!!” lol

rizz doesn’t work so much at the gym because you’re either bloated or come across as egotistical, potentially.

Better to meet at places of mental interest. Places where you can socialize and you’re not actually training for something, or at least outside in conversation, instead of in the place while people are busy and all.

Hard to talk about interests and taking about the place can seem a bit odd? 🤷‍♀️

Those who just want sex/ attention/ love the gym/ are social butterflies wouldn’t mind this approach. Especially those who can multitask or talk when they’re burning lol.

Just my guesses.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it may be uncomfortable for some people, but it’s not uncommon. Realistically, a lot of women and men come to the gym to attract men and vice versa. I’ve been approached a few times and went out with a few people and, I think for myself, even if it did go left, I really don’t give a f*ck lol. Like what is the guy gonna do? And if it’s that bad I can switch times. Seeing them is not going to stop my workout.

I do advise against dating staff members that’s just something I’d never do. The gym industry by profession tends to be really unprofessional sometimes and I did know a girl where they screwed up her membership after she broke up with one of the managers.

All and all I don’t think it’s a big deal if there’s a mutual interest. If it goes left well, that motherfucker is gonna be the one having to adjust because I could care less if I saw them there, and if they did something to me that was inappropriate one thing I like about gyms is getting people banned is relatively easy!

blueonblack22 · Answer

Serious response. Because no guy wants this to happen to them:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/6zWuOIQHGA0

Now I know not all women are like this. But the man usually has no idea if she will be receptive to him or not.

Years ago she would just ignore him if she wasn’t interested. Annoyed but not a big deal. For every 100 guys who approach a woman only 1-2 are legitimate “creeps”. They definitely exist but they are nowhere near as common as “modern” women make them out to be. And other men already long hated guys like that before #metoo came along.

But narcissistic and malicious women have been “empowered” in recent years. This has made a lots men exponentially more paranoid.

So anyway ladies if you see a guy you like in the gym it’s now on you to make something happen nowadays. All you have to do is smile and say hello to the guy you like. That’s it. It will take his stress level down and let him know it’s safe to talk to you.

If he’s interested he will most likely take it from there. If he’s not interested (or if he’s already taken) then he won’t engage you further. But you virtually nothing to worry about when it comes to being labeled “creepy” in gyms. Men don’t think the same way you do when it comes to that.

I’ve never seen a man record a woman sexually harassing him in a gym before.

V_Injector · Answer

There has been a rash of women recording themselves in the gym just to accuse any man of some sexual harassment. They post it up all over the internet for more attention.

Not my problem, I have a home gym. Personally, if I'm trying to focus on me, I don't need chicks distracting me, and with that said, I'm sure some women out there feel the exact same way when gym rats hit on them or hound them with that fake friendly act.

I mean imagine what a married chick that isn't looking is thinking when some sweaty reject starts orbiting her and she's not interested. So I sort of see it from both sides... men only and women only gyms is probably going to be a thing in the future. Mixed gyms will still be there for the people that are more interested in looking for a hookup than making gains.

genericname85 · Answer

personally i go to the gym to work on myself, not to be hit on. in my free time i'd really love being hit on but not while i am focussed on other things that are important to me. and i think most people see it like that. the gym isn't a place to socialize and to ge tto know people. it's where you improve yourself.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It's super awkward. Everyone's usually focused and has headphones on. If you don't somewhat know them or you or they aren't at least in pairs it makes the approach very weird.

There's also a lot of tropes and stereotypes about being the douche hitting on girls at the gym.

tremendousfern · Answer

Why is it cringe to ask someone out at the gym?

There's one very simple secret to asking out anyone, anywhere, anytime without being cringe! Be attractive!

If they are attracted to you, they'll appreciate your flirtatious advances. If not - uhoh! Can anyone say creepy? Please keep these simple guidelines in mind in the future.

HawkPerception · Answer

Most women feel entitled to being asked out and only go so far as making subtle hints to guys, so they ask nonsensical questions related to dating someone they see at the gym like "Is he interested?" It does get old. It's just a lot of people that can't think for themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

Women made it that way. Any guy whose eyes even pass in her general zip code, and he's not High Jackman or Zac Efron? He's a creepy pervert, or in the words of another female user in her 20's here who replied to a legitimate question I asked, "fuck off troll." I mean, they're SO friendly and casually approachable nowadays... if you're Zac Efron.🤣

JacobJordan · Answer

Evidently you have missed the wonderous videos of shitty women calling men creepy, perverts, etc for looking at them at the gym. Gyms have started banning cameras so maybe gyms we be a wholesome place again soon

OtterMan68 · Answer

it depends. Have you chatted with them before or did you just walk up out of the blue and ask them out. I'd say if you've talked to them before and are friendly with each other, it's OK to ask them out

bobalife · Answer

They do? lol. Well anyone can like anyone at anywhere. I don’t think it matters and pretty normal :)

LiamJHayden · Answer

I go to work out. If she asks me to spot her and seems interested I  might  but otherwise I just assume she is there to workout and not to be hit on or hassled.

Pohjolan · Answer

Dunno if its a loud minority but men doing it are portrayed as creepy. However most guys going to a gym wouldn't be intimidated by a woman asking them out.

Sameone · Answer

It's normal thing all
Sometimes i ask women in guy for dating or phone number
Because i like skinny girl's 😁😁
And it's hard to find this type of woman only in gym and swimming pool (Olympic pool )
And most of time 😄 in Olympic pool

exitseven · Answer

I would never date somebody from the gym. If it went sideways I might have e to fi nd someplace else to workout

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Because the people running this country decided it would be fun to turn men and women against each other I guess they want see if we Will succeed where every other civilization has met its downfall

SotiCoto · Answer

If you haven't lied about your age, you're too old to be misusing "cringe" as an adjective.  Also gyms are lame.

fuddly · Answer

Because you are only seeing their physical side And if you prioritise looks and physique then you are shallow

captain_voidwalker · Answer

The gym is where men go to pay tribute to the swolfather in order to gain swolcepptance. We have not the time to indulge you ladies blasphemous thotery lol

Peridot25 · Answer

Not many people there want to be bothered while working out. Because that’s all they’re there for.

Anonymous · Answer

People go to the gym to make tiktok videos not find someone to date.

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laly520 · Answer

gym is not for dating

spartan55 · Answer

I guess you missed the whole me too thing.

nawtee_me · Answer

Is it the sweaty smell that attracts you?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I agree with Rose.

Why is it cringe to ask someone out at the gym?

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