So like almost two years ago, I asked out this girl at my gym. And she ghosted me. And it’s honestly because she saw my ex on my phone screen, when I was getting her number. Anyways, when I would see her at the gym, and it would get awkward. Because I knew she kind of regretted it since she would stare at me all the time. And I would just ignore her because I was hurt from the rejection. And ever since then, I just have gotten better looking because I lost a lot of weight too. And I noticed that she would talk to this weird guy at the gym who would always stare at me too. He’s like in his 40s. And I thought she was trying to make me jealous? I’m not sure? Because I think she would talk to him about me, and would straight up stare at me together. Kind of like in that movie “Get Out.” Sounds like paranoia honestly. And this one time, I was at the bar with my friends. And I noticed she was there. She was dancing with her friend, and trying to get me to come up to her, because you know you just get that feeling. Because she’s smiling and staring at you in the eyes. But still being salty, I decided not to do so. And I just walked past her like I didn’t see anyone. And I haven’t really seen her at the gym for so long. Until recently. Remember that older guy who gave me weird vibes? She came up to him like “I missed you,” as I was on the machine next to them. So I guess they’re dating now. It’s weird, because she’s like my age. But anyways, I tried to avoid them because I think it’s cringe. So I went on the treadmill forever till they left the gym. Thank goodness, but the thing that made this strange is that she stared back at me as she was leaving with him. That made me feel odd, because it could be that she wants to know if I’m jealous? Or if I regret it? Or if she thinks I care?
2 mo
Do you think I should’ve given her a chance? Or is this for the better?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I think that if there were ever a time to put your pride aside and communicate, dealing with her would’ve been it. If we’re being honest, she wasn’t wrong to get the wrong impression when she saw your ex as your screensaver. I think anyone would consider it a red flag, even if the roles were switched and it was a woman with her ex boyfriend on her phone. It just doesn’t look good and I’m not sure how much damage control you even attempted to do after.
If you were too prideful (which it sounds like you have been since 2 years have passed) then you missed your chance to build trust with her by acting on your hurt rather than communicating. If you did try reassuring her about your ex and it still resulted in her ghosting then maybe her trust issues were just too great, in which case there would have been nothing you could do at the time.
Anyway, it’s neither here nor there. I’m not sure if you’re mentioning her relationship with the old guy out of jealousy or what but I’m sure he’s just a gym buddy she’s gotten close with. I know I’ve told my guy friends that I missed them and it’s totally platonic.
Yo man, that whole situation with that girl definitely sounds weird and kinda messy. I wouldn't be surprised if she was tryna make you jealous at times. Some people just play games, ya know?
Personally, I think you made the right call by not giving her a chance back when she ghosted you. That was rude of her and send the vibe she wasn't all that interested. No need to waste your time on someone who left you hanging like that early on.
As for now, I'd just keep doing your thing and not even stress over what her deal is with that older dude. Maybe they're together or maybe she likes the attention, who knows. Not really your problem anymore!
Anytime you catch her staring, just shoot her a casual nod then look away like you ain't got no worries. Stay above it all. She's the one coming off desperate tryna get a reaction outta you.
Just keep your confidence up and stay focused on your gym goals. Bet there's plenty other fine ladies who'd love to grab your attention way more naturally. This one had her chance - on to bigger and better things, bro!
whos able to ghost u once
can ghost u twice
think a lot before u give a second chance
she doesn't seem mature or a one to trust much