How do guys feel about women paying for themselves on dates?

[Anonymous]

I’m mostly curious. I would pay for myself, to be honest.

[HawkPerception]

I'm a strong believer in going dutch, unless the girl speaks up about her desire to be a housewife and be traditional. Women can't have it both ways. If a woman is not willing to pay for herself with me while expecting equality, then I would not date her to begin with.


There are so many benefits of going dutch...

It shows that she values your time and doesn't think you should have to pay for her to be there.

It doesn't create any expectation of the guy being owed anything afterwards, because some guys feel entitled to sex after.

It shows she's not there for a free meal.

It shows a great first impression and that she's there and willing to put something on the table.

Any girl that expects a man to pay and not be a traditional housewife at the same time is a red flag to me. It shows they can't think for themselves and are just brainwashed by their traditional parents that say "A man should pay." Sorry, but these aren't traditional times anymore. Y'all fought for equal rights. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I realize that this turns a lot of women off when it comes to dating, but I see it as a great filter for finding a decent woman.

[Sawyerblu]

Personally, I’ve never been asked to pay the bill. Even when I’ve offered in the past, they decline. Once we get to the relationship stage we do the “you get this one, I’ll get the next” scenario.




The man I’m currently dating pays for everything with a cheeky smile— I think he enjoys spoiling me. That’s not to say I’ve never paid for anything or offered— I’ve bought us drinks, wine, little things here and there for the both of us.




From my perspective, I believe my man gets a sense of fulfillment in me being appreciative, especially given that we genuinely like each other a lot. Being a provider to the women they’re pursuing helps men feel accomplished— gives them a sense of purpose. By allowing them to take on the more dominant, masculine role, you enter a positive feminine one where you are not competing for control and the relationship is able to flourish in a healthy way.




People often forget that men and women are not the same. I don’t mean equality of worth, but by the way our brains operate. We need the feminine-masculine balance in relationships in order to make them work. Some men may even take offense to you offering to pay, signaling to them that you do not think they are capable. They need to feel capable otherwise their masculine shifts into feminine, putting you in the masculine role which can lead to resentment on both parts.




If it is a first date and you do not see anything going anywhere, then by all means, pay for yourself. It’s not fair to make the man pay if you’re just going to ghost him. But if he is offering and you do see it going somewhere, let him pay! He’s just trying to impress you/do something nice for you. The best thing you can do is be genuinely appreciative.

[darkforcebooty]

@Sawyerblu mind if I ask you for some advice and support?

[Sawyerblu]

Go for it lol

[darkforcebooty]

messge me if its okay :)

[jennifer_bloom]

When I was 21 a guy rejected me for saying I pay half.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't think anything of it. You do you. Eventually dutch seems unnecessarily complicated though, usually its just whoever invited whom, or alternate who pays for what. Not a fan of the latter. I've never had a woman pay her half outside the first date, if that. Past that it was always whoever invited the other one

[Avicenna]

Most of the women I have been on dates with in the past few years pay for their own meal on initial dates

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It doesn't suit me. I like to pay for the entire date. I am the host and she is my guest. I decide where we go and she follows (if she chooses and trusts me). It is my responsibility as host and leader to pay for the bill. My guest should not have to pay for the costs of my own decisions. She pays me with her lovely company and hopefully by being a gracious guest.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I expect nothing in return except her time and courtesy. She is not obliged to pay me back in any way; she already did by gracing me with her company. We owe each other nothing after that.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Same logic when I invite someone into my home (male or female) and serve them dinner. I don't want them to pay me for the cost of their dinner. That's not something owed to me. That's the cost I absorb as leader and host of my own home. They pay me with their company as guests.

[TonyMetal___86]

If i want to invite a girl to a date, she ain't allowed to pay because it's an invitation...

If she wants to invite me later, i don't have a problem but in the end if we get along together and got married, than she will become a housewife which means that i'll always be the one who's going to pay!

[Asker]

Does she want to be a housewife though? 🤔

[TonyMetal___86]

That's why it's called a date, to get to know each other better, if she adores becoming a housewife than i see a future with her and if not than i'll find a girl who suits me 😌

It works like this right miss @Peridot25 ? 😐

[Whitey_Johnson]

If it's the first date and she offers to pay for her meal, I would decline her offer, but if she insisted I would relent. A man needs to show that he's ready to dish out those financial resources to make a relationship work.

[Asker]

And then the woman is at risk for being called a gold digger.

[Whitey_Johnson]

Hmmm. I don't think that would be a fair accusation on a first date, especially if you've offered to pay. There are bound to be some men who have unrealistic expectations about getting out of paying for stuff they should pay for. If you think you've encountered one of those, I think it's best to move on.

[Fireguy17]

I offer to pay, and especially on the first couple of dates I've had women want to pay for their meal, and I am not offended.
I will tell them no it's fine I'm happy to pay, but if they insist I will say ok.
My feelings are that it helps keep things casual, so you don't run into the I paid for dinner now you owe me stigma that can occur.
So, I'm fine with if they want to pay for the whole meal, none of it, or just their part, it is about their comfort level.

[JacobJordan]

If you want to go for it. I paid for a fair number of our dates my wife paid for a fair number as well at her insistence. Now she has access to all the funds I have + I set up 2 personal accounts (1 for me 1 for her) that I deposit into so she can have her own personal money to use on things she wants or if she wants to surprise me but doesn't want to use the joint account.

[Apple1996]

I wouldn't consider that a date if the guy isn't paying. y'all just hanging out as friends

[TonyMetal___86]

Well said miss apples...
A lot of people are asking, what did the husband of miss apples used to attract her like this? Well the answer is pretty simple, when he invited to a date, he ordered a basket of apples, shining delicious apples and since that day, miss apples melted like butter 🤣🤣

[Apple1996]

@TonyMetal___86 yess he impressed me with apples lol

[Asker]

@Apple1996 Was his name Lucifer? 😂😂😂

[TonyMetal___86]

@Peridot25 lucifer the descendent of EVE 😈 haha

[HelpfulWoman]

-if they get triggered, its a nice red flag to see.

Now, I'm not saying that them offering to pay (if they'd like to) is bad. Only if its expected and they get all pissy at any other idea.

[laly520]

some won't mind paying for emselves but that will make it sound like it isn't a date but only a hangout

[Jennz6]

True, I didn’t think about it like that 💃

[Billlewis]

I don't think that's appropriate at all. I'm much more comfortable paying for every date, every time, whether it's with me or another guy she's seeing.

[exitseven]

I cannot think of a single instance when I paid for a date. Except when I was in a long distance relationship. The deal was if I spent the airfare to fly out there I did not have to spend any money once I got there I guess it was a help.

[justabuddy]

So it can be a catch 22. My ex paid for our first date even though I thought we were going out as friends, so it is appreciated. Plus she looked mad when I brought my credit card out. Wasn't worth breaking up a friendshop over

That being said it can be an insult to some guys as they may feel you are doing cause you don't want a second date. I think it's best to offer, or offer to get the next date.

[V_Injector]

I prefer them to pay for everything. Pimpin ain't easy, but I be pimpin.

[Billlewis]

What an absolute badass... you are absolutely magnificent, Sir.

[V_Injector]

@Billlewis That's what she said.

[Billlewis]

I don't doubt it, believe me, Sir.

[Anonymous]

I don't really mind her paying, if she genuinely want to pay.

Not as much, when she wants to pay for 's**t test' and then she expects me to fight her on who is paying, as then it will not go far.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah that's an automatic "I'm not seeing her again" if she's going to try to play games right from the jump.

[Unit1]

Yass! Finally a girl, that Doesn't see me as a wallet.

That girl is One step closer to girlfriend material.

[Asker]

Would you consider a woman a gold digger still if you paid once?

[Unit1]

There is a distinction.
Gold diggers fail the first time when they pay for themselves. When a girl makes it past this stage, i'm more open to cover for her.

[Unit1]

Meaning gold diggers Will ignore and avoid me when this is made clear for the first time. My intention is to vet out the gold diggers and users.

[KrakenAttackin]

I have always paid for a lady on a date. If she insisted on paying I would assume she is being very polite and is also not interested in going further.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I always try to pay for my meal because I feel bad if I don't and the date doesn't work out.

[Kelly6]

@Peridot25 if I was dating I would ask the guy that I want to pay for myself or I want to pay for both of us

[Tractorguy13]

I’m fine with it. From a guys standpoint it can be weird and awkward if it wasn’t asked ahead of time so most times it’s just as easy to pay.

[Jennz6]

Dutch treat is okay with inflation I’ll be happy to pay for my share.

[lildkman1010]

Honestly I’m fine with it if she wants to pay her tab I’ll try to cover it but if she insists I won’t force it.

[dudeinohio]

I pay the first date. If they want to cover themselves on subsequent dates, that's ok.

[firenine909]

I’d be fine with it personally

[SolitarySolace]

I'd prefer that to the usual

[tierrlamé]

either way is fine but i like to pay

[Anonymous]

She doesn't want to be bought, smart

[Anonymous]

Dont you like the men act like man?

[Asker]

I was always taught to bring my own money.

[Opinion Owner]

It s good I have no problem with that but sometimes you should let the men act like man. I think

[Asker]

To be honest, I would feel bad because I was taught to do something in return to make it up. But, I wouldn’t know how. And that, if I have money, I’m able to pay something myself.

[Asker]

So, in a way, I was taught to be independent.

[Asker]

Plus, I’ve never dated before so I wouldn’t know what it’s like to be treated out.

[Opinion Owner]

I suppose ıt is all coming from the all feminism thing but I can't agree with that. It is strong instinct that a man being able to take care of a woman. And feels satisfying. I think you shouldn't deprive a man from this

[Opinion Owner]

First couple of dates. Anybody can pay for themselves but after a relationship you need to let something happen

[Asker]

It wasn’t feminism but it was what my parents taught me. I just don’t want the guy to feel like I’m dependent on him.

[Opinion Owner]

First dates, anybody can pay for themselves but after a certain stage of being that independent. It s like I know you have money. Keep your money just let me carry you. In a relationship being that independent might not be all right for all sides. consequently we all depented to each other. Men dependted to women women depented to men. Being that independent might not be good for each type of relationship

[Asker]

I guess I really don’t need a man to take care of me or anything. Because I’m too independent.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand

[sirderpsalot123]

I would rather pay