I always end up with the same types. I want a different type but I get the same type of guy every time and end up liking him. What’s wrong?

Question

I want a normal wholesome guy. I always attract weird guys who are very liberal and artsy experimental and creative but it’s always too much I think. I’ve dated one and I’m sacred to try another because I’m scared they’re all the same because when mean my non type type is so beyond exact. I also attract a specific race of which I won’t mention not that I mind that. I just think it’s really weird all the guys I end up around are the same height, interests, race, dress the same etc. I always end up falling or them and being absolutely obsessed. As much as I click with guys like this so so so well, I’m terrified they’ll all be like my ex. I just want a normal guy. How do I attract a different type?

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Hmm that's tricky. I don't think there's really anything wrong with you though. Sometimes we just end up attracting certain types of people for some reason. Maybe you give off a vibe that draws in those more artsy creative types.

But it's also possible to attract different guys if you try putting yourself out there in new places. Like maybe try joining a sports team or going to more typical guy hangouts instead of just the coffee shops and art shows. You never know, you might meet a "normal" dude who's into the same kinda normal stuff as you.

And don't worry so much about them all being like your ex. Not all artsy guys are the same, you know? Maybe give one of them a chance and see if he's really too much or not before writing them all off. But also don't be afraid to speak up more about what you want and don't want early on so you can weed out any weirdness.

I'm sure if you put yourself out there in new ways the right kind of guy will come along eventually. Don't stress, just try mixing it up a bit and have fun with it!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

By figuring out what’s going on w you? Something about you draws these types of men. I don’t know if you have low self-esteem, abused or what growing up but something in your life made you the way you are. That’s why a lot of times girls who have had fathers who were abusive to their mom have a good chance of ending up w someone like that. No one ever goes out w the intention of meeting someone like that but subconsciously we find them. So figure it put. Maybe you’re like your mom? Are these men similar to your dad?

ohsheeT · Answer

Well there you go if you want something new you have to become new.

And maybe the key to the whole thing is you say you want something normal what is normal change with that word means and everything else might change

sawno · Answer

Alright so couple of things here. First of all you are most likely attracting them for a reason. If you are attracting very socialist (I don't consider them liberals) and artsy types that is probably because you also come across as that. Can name a simple example, hair dye in an exotic color. Generally disliked by the more conservative guys after being over-exposed to crazy people who had those hair dye's and prefer more natural beauty. But generally praised by socialist artsy types.

Second of all, you end up falling for them over and over again. So perhaps they are actually your type after all and your just denying it. Most people who ask this kind of question here add a "I don't like or want to date these men, help!" but you are the opposite of that. So the key may not be to change, but to accept they won't all be like your ex and just see what happens.

HawkPerception · Answer

You generally attract the type of person you are. You know what they say... "birds of a feather flock together." Either you change who you are as a person and learn to view things in a different way and embrace your femininity or likely be ready to get the same kind of liberal guys every time.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I've written lots about how attraction is sub conscious... two sub conscious minds connect. so examine your childhood, repair damage. learn to say no to those types and look to the values of the others.

dress/appearance... and especially... how you carry yourself... will help.

exitseven · Answer

I used to date the same kind of girl. I was attracted to that type. One day I met somebody that was the opposite of them and I demanded to ask her out just to see what it would be like. You should just concentrate on dating a normal guy. Go where normal guts hang out. The gym or a nice sports pub.

JacobJordan · Answer

Change who you are. If you dress revealing or act non feminine you are likely going to attract guys are okay with that and feminine liberal males are completely accepting of things men are not okay with and not attracted to

didichi · Answer

I had the same experience, not with dating the same person but seeing guys that looks like that person. It’s creepy.

OddBeMe · Answer

It’s because you’re choosing, even subconsciously, who you’re seeing as attractive. So “the guys” eligible to you are already matching what you seem to hate.

Crankor · Answer

Do you make efforts to flirt with a type you do like or do you let them come to you?

Triarii · Answer

That sounds quite difficult but why not try some new hobbies and perspectives maybe that Will open you to new types of people

laly520 · Answer

cuz u only attract such type

HouseMoat · Answer

What's wrong with having a type?

noohair · Answer

Normal is a setting on my washing machine.

I always end up with the same types. I want a different type but I get the same type of guy every time and end up liking him. What’s wrong?

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