What are red flags you shouldn’t ignore when you start dating a girl?

[Anonymous]

I had one that was a first indicator but didn’t understand it in the moment. She had to make a decision and she said her family’s opinion mattered and my voice really didn’t mean anything in it.

[Finchie40]

If her friends are more of a priority then you are to her, is a huge Red Flag , If a girl is truly into you and wants to be by your side , her friends will not come before you period A girl that chooses her friends over you , just likes the convenience of you for her own selfish benefit. Someone that truly values you , will wear your shoes the same way they want you to wear theirs. Not the other way around. Never trust a girl that treats you like a convenience, if she starts treating you like a convenience start treating her as one as well especially if you are just dating and getting to know each other , do not commit to a girl that treats you like a convenience period , you will only be setting yourself up for disaster. Mark my words. When a girl is truly into you and wants to be with you , she will cling to you as much as possible , her highlight of the day is to be with you , it’s ok to have friends , but her friends will not be a priority over you , she will go hang out with her friends but making sure she can still see you afterwards. If she isn’t making plans to see you afterwards , then she is more than likely weighing her options and just likes the convenience of you. These same boundaries need to apply to you as well , with your so called friends , she should always be your top priority over Your friends . If you can’t do that for her , she is not going to do that for you. Most girls’ I have dated that couldn’t wait to see me cuz she was a t work etc. , was bummed out if I had friends over my house , when she arrived , that’s a girl you want to keep, because she only wants to spend time with you , Tell your friends sorry but it’s time to leave , your true friends will understand they might bust your balls but they will understand and leave. Once they leave focus your time and energy on her , she will more than likely rock your world in bed , trust me. The only time bros come before hoes is if she is literally a hoe and treating you like a convenience. As for you girls’ these same rules apply to you as well, chicks before dicks only if he is a dick to you and treats you like a convenience as well. I guarantee you will experience a long lasting relationship if you both prioritize each other , Mark my words

[D_Bone_Steak]

A lot of the red flags are the same ones you wouldn't ignore from a dude-bro, but the sexual allure can blind people to flags that would be obvious to any 3rd party observing it. With that said...

Pay attention to what she's saying. I know it can be difficult.

But really pay attention to what she is saying as she drones on and on about herself. Women always tell on themselves. Listen for things like what she says about her ex's... oh they're all assholes and trash? Let your brain do the math... she chooses those guys and probably slept with all of them. Listen for things like "I have lots of guy friends" and then piece that together with the stories she tells you about accidently hooking up with her guy friends in the past... red flag🚩... you now know what to expect out of her.

Just ask them general questions, and then let them tell on themselves. Something general... ask her if she's ever cheated before. She will be so excited to talk about herself that she will tell you what she's really like. She will give you every red flag there is to see, just as long as she doesn't catch onto the fact that you're looking for them.

With all that said, everyone has a flawed moment or two. You really want to look for sustained negative patterns of behavior.

Also figure out what she really wants from you as early as you can. That stuff will not come directly out of her mouth. A gold digger that just wants a free ride in life or to have everything paid for so she can spend her money on herself as well, she's not going to directly tell you she just wants all your money and wants to fuck the pool boy while you're at work. You'll have to be a detective. Listen to what she says, listen to what she's trying to conveniently leave out as well. Attention to detail.

I know I didn't directly answer this question, and sort of just gave some pointers on how to find red flags. What those red flags are really comes down to you and what you want. Some dudes are happy with stupid gullible women, whereas I would see that as a potential cheater, someone that can't be trusted with responsibilities, and she is that girl that will fall for a playboy's bullshit or hand out her financial information to a CIA tax man, with an Indian accent, over the phone. To each their own, if you know what I mean.

[Pinay_ako]

That is one giant red flag. You don’t matter. You will always be second after her family. Others: being rude to service workers on a date. Always on their phone. Talking about themselves way too much. Talking about having kids and money. But not asking questions about you… Late! Terrible hygiene.

[Asker]

Yeah she was always on her phone anytime I was talking to her people would constantly point out how our communication sucked and this was why. Secondly she always had to cause a seen in public, we went to a store on Black Friday and she was getting jeans this store had expensive jeans I kept asking her do you have enough cause she kept picking up more then we get up to the register and it’s way more then what she thought cause she misread the tag and demanded they lower the price. I swear in that moment I was so embarrassed and was like you seriously need to stop cause I wasn’t raised like that and I can’t be with someone who is gonna act like that. I also told her when we left I was like you literally worked in retail and you're gonna do that rude shit to someone else

[jennifer_bloom]

One red flag I have in a guy is if he thinks people's thoughts and feelings and emotions and traumas and experiences are cheap or irrelevant and don't matter or are not worth acknowledging. I know an entire fellowship that is going to hell cause the entire church was guilty of this.

[OlderAndWiser]

HER STATEMENT: "her family’s opinion mattered and my voice really didn’t mean anything in it."

MY RESPONSE:

Run, Forrest, run!

[Asker]

I was so caught up on the newness of the relationship

[OlderAndWiser]

Follow your heart into a relationship but follow your head out of a relationship.

[blueonblack22]

Depends on her age. But here a few dealbreakers:

• She talks about her ex. Sometimes the subject is unavoidable but bringing him unnecessarily is a huge red flag even if she is comparing you positively to him.
• Being obsessed about politics. Even if you agree with her it’s about as about arousing as thinking of sandpaper.
• Casually admitting to cheating.
• No saying please or thank you when you are doing something nice for like paying for dinner.
• Not being independent minded. If she is saying “oh my friends say” or even “my family says”‘ early in the relationship is bad.

[Anonymous]

• You can tell a lot just by looking at the people she surrounds herself with. If her family is trash she's probably going to be trash.
• Is she negative? Negative women are typically very drama filled. You do not need that in your life. Move along.
• What is her dating history? Women cannot bond to a guy after too many relationships after a certain number she a casualty and you just have to write her off. You can't save her don't try. She'll just pull you down into the filth.
• What are her overall values, what are her goals, these are crucial to determine whether you are a good match.

[ProbablyClueless]

Anything disrespectful, abusive or dismissive of other people; especially on a first date. She WILL treat you that way if any problems arise in the future.

Remember that a first date is when people are supposed to be on their best behavior. So, if she thinks her best behavior involves rolling her eyes at the wait staff, insulting people's appearance, and complaining about things, that behavior is only going to get worse as she reveals her true colors.

[loveslongnails]

I copied this from a website but it's very appropriate.

1. Love bombing
2. Stories of “Crazy Exes” Talking about exes on the first date and especially badmouthing them is a huge red flag. ...
3. Jealousy or controlling behavior...
4. Inconsistent communication...
5. Lack of emotional intimacy...
6. Trust issues...
7. Emotional unavailability...

[Fireguy17]

habitually late, smoking, doing drugs, drunk, preoccupied with her cell phone, narcistic, gold digger.

[Asker]

She practically lived on her phone we practically had no communication in the relationship because everytime we needed to talk she was on her phone

[Fireguy17]

that sucks

[Vegasrunner]

Great question pretty easy answer

1) Her body count - More bodies more problems

2) If she blames her past failed relationships on other men.

3) If every date has to be at an exensive restaurant

[A_Bell]

The word b*ch or c*nt etched in her car door.

[OtterMan68]

she's always late and never apologizes for it.

Finds fault in everything.

Looks down on people such as waiters, clerks, valet drivers, maids...

talks shit about her ex's a lot

[DarkLegacy]

Her having kids, her being a feminist and her having a history of having had toxic relationships

[Petermorgan43]

She values her friends more than you, only puts her needs first. Biggest red flags for me

[laly520]

if she is behaving like a narc

[Asker]

That did happen

[patrick994]

I agree with Pinay_ako

[Littletail01]

Emotional unavailability

[Aladin_131]

still in a relationship with her ex

[Anonymous]

If she shows up late and dressed shabbily