Guys and girls, in dating, what are qualities that would turn you off about someone you're physically attracted to?

[Anonymous]

[zeitgeist057]

There are a lot, but is it because I'm picky, or just have self-respect?

People who don't respect my boundaries turn me off. So this includes anyone who is physically or emotionally abusive, manipulative. Those who attempt to control me. This is unfortunately quite common. People often get away with controlling others because many people are susceptible to wanting others to like them, and they use that desire for acceptance or weaponize emotions or sexual attraction to manipulate. When they try it on me, it mostly just disgusts me.

Monogamy is a good example, but I should clarify. I have 100% zero objections to someone wanting to be monogamous, but that's not what most women who say they are monogamous mean. What they actually mean is they want to control their partner's choices, which I don't want anything to do with. I prefer autonomy, thanks!

Some other behaviors such as nicotine use or abundant use of other drugs turn me off, but I don't know if you would qualify those as "qualities". Speaking of quality, one thing I find especially ironic and off-putting is when people think much more highly of themselves than is warranted (arrogance). It's one thing for someone who is accomplished, intelligent, kind, &c. to have some pride and self-esteem. It's quite another for an otherwise unremarkable person to have an overconfident attitude and act as though others are beneath them.

[SolitarySolace]

It would immediately turn me all the way off if she…
Is a feminist
Is a leftist
Is a democrat
Is a liberal
Has any mental disorder
Is a fan of lgbtq
Is interested in sex
Is the type who goes to clubs and bars
Is a Satanist
Is anti Christian
Is atheist
Has children
Wants children
Wants marriage
Wants open relationships
Is bisexual or any other ridiculous sexuality that honestly shouldn’t exist
Uses the term “cis” or “cisgender”
To name a few…

[MsBell2018]

Sincerely, what are you looking for then?
Republican, celibate, homebody, Christian, childless, baren, spinster?
Respectfully, why do you want to date?
You do understand that dating is meant to be the prelude to marriage & is not just "something to do"?
Dating is intended as the transition from being single to marriage.
You're spending time to get to know that person to see if you'd be able to tolerate & maybe find some semblance of happiness/joy in sharing the rest of your life with that person & often includes procreation.
It's intended to see if you're compatible long-term.
The Word of God says "Therefore, a man shall leave his mother & father & cleave to his wife & the 2 shall become 1 flesh."
So what is it you seek if you're not interested in a woman that doesn't want marriage, children, sex & isn't anti Christian? That's called a friend. Why are you dating then?

[SolitarySolace]

Never said I Was dating 🤣 I’ve been single by choice for 9 years now. I’m Asexual and don’t want to get married. I believe women gain power through sex with men and marriage only benefits women.

[handsomelad70]

@MsBell2018 Oh, boy. Another one.

[steveusna]

@MsBell2018 "Republican, celibate, homebody, Christian, childless, baren, spinster?" - I actually know this woman. I dated her twenty years ago. She hits every one the above requirements and she is now 57.

[MsBell2018]

@SolitarySolace you may be asexual & single by choice. That's wonderful if it works for you & you're content. I was confused by your response because the question inquired about dating is all.

[MsBell2018]

@handsomelad70 another? Please explain.

[MsBell2018]

@steveusna if that's what works for her, more power to her!

[SolitarySolace]

Just because I still have dating standards doesn’t mean I’m actively dating. Besides who would date a guy with values that contradict both sides?

[jennifer_bloom]

A guy that does not understand others or does not want to understand others or does not try to understand others. Another thing is a guy that thinks it's okay to abandon his duties or obligations or morals if he is under stress or in a bad mood. I know one guy who told people bad things about me that he thought were true and then when he realized he made a mistake and the things he said about me were incorrect, he was too embarrassed to go to the people he slandered me too and tell them he was mistaken and I'm not the bad things he said I was. To this day I have less than 2 friends left from that period in time cause of the gossip about me that was dishonestly manufactured by liars.

[MsBell2018]

Smoking, excessive drinking, excessive cussing, racist, misogynist, liar, cheater, lazy, won't work, mean & nasty, judgmental, cruel, impatient, immature, slob, Momma's boy that's still connected hip & thigh, controlling, yells/screams a lot, puts others down, selfish, stingy, bad hygiene, unclean/untidy, smells bad, bad breath, addict, no drive/motivation, talks bad about people, don't treat his Momma & elders right, tells personal business, wasteful, prideful, stubborn, closed minded, always looking for a way to get out of doing things rather than just knocking it out & being done & narcissist.

[Dan_5001]

Basically any flaw possible for male.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@Dan_5001 it's a parents responsibility to make sure their kids don't have any of these qualities. I would argue most of this is the bare minimum to call yourself a proper man. Except for the part about being stingy. Girls will be girls.

[Amara_09]

I get turned off by guys that are;


1. Disrespectful - Rude to people …let’s add arrogant to this list


2. Dirty /Smelly - Does not take care of himself


3. No ambitions - does not want to make a meaningful contribution to his life…..


4. Not independent - You gotta be stable enough to get the shit done for yourself……I hate it when a guy uses you too much…. like what do you got to offer too? Like bring something to the table……

[Biancam13]

I have the same list as you!

[Amara_09]

Everyone should because I listed basic information, same thing for men who are probably turned off by women like this

[Biancam13]

True but it's worrying how some people actually like their partners to be rude/mean to other people.

[Anonymous]

I honestly can deal with a lot of things. But The biggest turn off to me is a man who doesn’t provide. I mean- I grew up with men who were taught to take care. Then I started to be around other men and realized some people were not taught to be like that.
For example, I went on a date and during the lunch the guy made a comment that he likes when he doesn’t have to take care of the bill alone. Not in that exact way but something along those terms. I told him cool and we split the bill. Call me what u want, but I know there is a man who would’ve not made that comment and actually paid the whole bill with no issue. I’m not judging that man because i work and can provide for myself. But if I had to choose, I’m going to choose the type of guy that has more in common with how I grew up. To each his own.

[dustybiker2]

I'll just flip this. If a man listens and considers then he is adaptable. It was lack either and: pass. Anything is possible with those two things.

A woman obviously needs these also. But a relationship is two people merging their entire lives. It takes work. You need the tools to make that possible.

[SolitarySolace]

Why merge your life with someone who only wants you to conform to their way of life? Happy wife happy life? Fuck that. Why take the time to attempt to work out a relationship that is just going to end in divorce someday anyway? Build up all that trust just for it to ruin a man’s life while the woman gets everything? Yeah, hell no. Fuck that. Good day

[steveusna]

@SolitarySolace Tru dat

[dustybiker2]

@SolitarySolace Clearly you didn't read my opinion through.

[sirderpsalot123]

@dustybiker2 he sees what he wants to see lol

[dustybiker2]

@sirderpsalot123 exactly.

[dustybiker2]

@SolitarySolace temper temper
I deleted that for you

[AmyHew1tt]

Video games, smoking (including vapes), drinking, emotional immaturity, having a history of open relationships or threesomes, being rude to restaurant servers, not having a good relationship with his family (unless his family is horrible), dressing sloppily, mama's boy, Andrew Tate follower, Alt-Right or Left politics, doesn't like pets, bros before hoes mindset, addict, watches porn, doesn't know who is/what he wants, doesn't have drive, inauthenticity, close-minded.

[steveusna]

1. Smoking

2. Tats

3. Swearing

4. Has male friends that are dirtbags

5. Has no goals, no ambition, no accomplishments

I would make an exception for all of the above if I were getting a quickie blowjob from a woman I would never see again. Sometimes, a guys wants to have a skank.

[patrick994]

Excessive alcohol drinker

Toxic addict

Germaphobic or squeamish

Aggressive and violent

when it is gossipy

Presumption and arrogance

she treats his parents badly

selfishness and narcissism

Laziness

Has no desire to work

gold digging

[JHAYES317]

Smoking weed/cigs regularly
Has kids
Poly
Trans
Uses pronouns other than she/her
septum piercing
Braces
Dyed hair
Wants to be treated like princess or worship the ground she walks on
Wants me to spoil her
very strong political views

[sheenagwapa]

the cheater type... you know that type who wpuld cheat. usually men who are indecisive are the cheater type because when you love you just love

[RebelinSteel]

Mainly, racist, homophobic, treats others badly, obviously if they cheat, if they are not engaging, too quiet, not up to going running, or at least exercise of some description.

[IslaTheWitch]

stupidity, faked or toxic behaviors, lack of personal hygiene, extremist opinions, violence, swearing, addictions, lack of respect

[KrakenAttackin]

@IslaTheWitch. This is a good list. Let me add a lack of kindness, accountability, and empathy.

[handsomelad70]

ESPECIALLY lack of personal hygiene.

[KrakenAttackin]

@handsomelad70 True dat.

[handsomelad70]

@KrakenAttackin A-year-and-a-half back, I was almost the first excessive funk fatality. My young roommate was apparently averse to showering, which left our room quite ripe until he was booted from the house.

[KrakenAttackin]

@handsomelad70 Not cool. No one likes a funky smelling roommate.

[Billlewis]

Physically, there are really only two major characteristics that are likely to turn me off -- if she's very thin or she has a huge nose.

[laly520]

nth turned me off with my current boyfriend

but with ex in past, the way he lies, delusional n verbally aggressive used to turn me off

[Biancam13]

Mainly rudeness or unkindness, and immaturity.

[Biancam13]

Or if we just didn't click personality-wise or get along/had no compatibility, I'd move on if that were the case as well.

[PeachyPie93]

Slutty past, lies, cheated in the past, doesn't want to be my boyfriend right away lol.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Her being promiscuous, being a feminist, not wanting kids and choosing a career over family

[Whitey_Johnson]

Disrespectful behavior. Immediate shutdown when that s**t occurs.

[Nikki1989]

Bitterness, bigotry, sexism, racism, no sense of humor, poor or no taste in music, lack of communication skills.

[LiamJHayden]

Rudeness, being high maintenance, being an actual Nazi or commie or other totalitarian, being a bigot.

[bolverk]

Smoking/Vaping, and personality, especially the latter a toxic personality will over ride any physical attraction.

[sirderpsalot123]

Constantly being negative and being rude to other people