Why do you think dating/finding love has become so difficult for a lot of people in recent years?

[beebella]

I know why

I don't know why

What is love?

[sukumamu]

Modern life hijacks your effort and attention in so many ways. Relationships are things that take compromise, and reaching compromise requires effort and attention. Relationships exhaust people more easily now, forcing you to find a near perfect fit to your personality and life rather than a good enough fit. People meet in person less and less so you go on a dating app and pencil them in during your limited time off, because modern life works people too long and when you get off work you gotta get the car fixed and do your taxes and laundry and housework and and and and... It's tough to have things go perfectly on a first date, especially if you're complete strangers before that, so each first date can make the whole situation seem more and more hopeless. At this point, many people just say screw that noise, more or less give up on something committal, and not take dating too seriously.

That, and because the possibilities in modern life are virtually endless in terms of interesting things you can spend your limited free time on, having a relationship is becoming less and less prioritized. Friends and family might do well enough for that social connection, any more than that and it starts eating into reading time or studying time or whatever.

In short, when I ask myself, "Do I want to spend my day off doing things I know I'll enjoy or roll the dice hanging out with a complete stranger?", I know my answer, and I think it's the same answer as most people.

[GreenLanternI0I]

Both men and women standards become unrealistic in a literal sense. Men's brain became rotten, due to all the porn and pornographic images all over the internet and even main stream media. and now they are hoping to find a girl that doesn't exist. Women's brains also got rotten to the core, they have been brainwashed into believing that they are the center of the universe and all of them deserve to date a top 15% ( with the height of 6.3+, making $500,000+ and them having a penis 9 inch+. And even though those type of men do exist out of 100% of all the girls, only TOP 5% of girls who are basically walking goddesses who are having EVERYTHING going for them (natural unrealistic beauty, brains, wisdom etc...) would be able to get those type of guys. The rest of 95% will wake up when they be 40% and realized they got duped.

[desidoll]

I agree! And when they find someone worthy in real life, they keep reminding themselves that they deserve better because they have seen “better” ONLINE.

[desidoll]

Social media and dating apps really ruin the dating world. Men and women become more shallow due to the unrealistic images portrayed online on daily basis. I remember when I was having a chit chat with my guy friend at this cafe 2 years ago, there was this cute girl (she was alone) showing him interest at the side of the table. He actually thought she was attractive too. So I told him maybe he could try to approach her and see how things going, considering I was there to help him not to look awkward about it. He suddenly said “I think I have seen better on tiktok and ig” Sad lol because the majority of women that he sees there don’t even look like that in real life and yea he is still single at the age of 40 this year. Not sure if I should feel sorry for him or maybe he deserves to be alone.

[Daniela1982]

Love is growing cold in the world more every day. You can't help but notice it by all the headlines in the news. So, with love declining, how can it be expected to be found, much less being able to hold on to it once you have found it? Not that anyone these days can define it for you with certainty. Frankly, from what I see, love is getting more fleeting every day. Not many that stay married 5 years, much less 50 as in the old days when people still believed in God. Not so much anymore though. And then they wonder why things in the US are going to pot.

[Finchie40]

Because most people don’t trust each other anymore thanks to social media lol

[coachTanthony]

The illusion of choice has hit many people due to social media and dating apps.

[Lionman95]

I would say because people generally have a hard time developing deep relationships with people in general. I would blame phones and the general decrease of concentration since peole are unable to focus on sitting at a table talking to a person without looking at their phone anymore.
The reason I see is that it takes to build a relationship and it can be messy and hard work. All things people no longer want to invest. Dating nowadays is a number´s game and people seem to expect to meet the perfect person right away. If it doesn´t work with a person at first glance things could be over before it began.

[tremendousfern]

I suspect it's because many people have become dope heads in a literal sense. It's very easy to get your brain to produce dopamine for you by a large variety of zero effort methods - whether it's social media, or dating apps, or watching TV/youtube/streams, or playing video games, or watching porn, or doing drugs, etc. And the vast array of unique content that these avenues provide make real life seem dull in comparison. People have become hyper-sensitized.

The online world has become more satisfying than the real world.

[Somoneelse]

I believe love has become more difficult than before as there is so much choice thanks to social media and dating apps. Now you can also connect with people from the other side of the globe. And I also believe that thanks to social media relationships itself has become more difficult because people compare their relationships with what they see online.. So when your relationship ain't that perfect compared to what you see online. You feel much worse about it than when you don't compare it online.

[Phoenix98]

Society and social media have played large roles in this essentially affecting and altering peoples thinking, to a point where folks think it's perfectly acceptable to walk around being a degenerate, completely unhinged, sluts or other similar things.

And it's made people basically not be a sound investment because at it's core when your dating someone your investing your time and money to them towards a possible future with them. And a lot of people these days are not sound investments.

[Apple1996]

Paradox of choice. There are now too many options because of the internet so its harder to choose someone to settle with vs back in the day there was only who you could meet in your town or by traveling to settle with. Less is more type of thing so it was easier to choose.

[dustybiker2]

People used to turn to their parents for advice on how to date. Universities or private schools guided the process.
Then the structure cracked and people were let loose for a free for all. Which kinda sorta worked for a lot of people.
More modern times is all instant gratification. Where is the fun in that? Go online and order a date. Glad I'm not out there sorting through jaded and plastic people.

[lightbulb27]

I think they haven't been trained in love, are damaged emotionally, and don't know what it is.

lets not kid ourselves... it was difficult before as well.

I see lots of people find mates... and for years.

I think the underlying issue is people need to up their game, learn to socialize, learn to communicate and work through differences.

having a bazillion other options and the reality "the one you got has issues" causes people to move on too easily.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Dating becoming an industry to capitalize on is definitely part of the problem. Covid shutdowns also didn’t help in people retaining social skills or comfort in in-person meetings, also just people being fed up with the mediocre. Not being toxic is no longer good enough to get a date with someone and a lot of folks who are so used to playing those games struggle when people not only catch on but refuse to play.

[BonzoInBitburg]

We've lost the ability to interact with each other. We would rather work from home than an office. We would rather be on our phones at dinner than talk. We would rather stay home and order online than go shopping. None of these are bad but it has eroded our communication skills so we keep to ourselves more than ever before.

[TadCurious]

Bella that's a really difficult question for me to answer. I think it would probably be different for different people. Maybe it has something to do with a lack of meaningful connection between people. But why that is is probably complcated and has a lot to do with changes in our society.

That doesn't really answer your question very well.

[sheikalana]

A lot of young people nowadays do not have the wish to be in a committed relationship and don't date with the purpose of getting married and having a family. Instead dating became a way of people just hanging out with each other and having fun if you know what I mean.

[ProbablyClueless]

People just focus on themselves and have made connecting with others a low priority. All of these clueless emotional trainwrecks talk about "working on themselves" but nothing ever seems to change.

I once had 2 fantastic dates with a lady who dipped out on me shortly after because she decided that she loved the feeling she had around me, but wasn't ready to be in a relationship and wanted to figure out how to have the feeling I gave her except totally on her own.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

1.) People set their standards too high for meeting someone, 2.) Some people only want intercourse and that's all. 3.) Some people don't want to get intimate 4.) Some people don't want any kind of foreplay 5.) I like real love kissing, hugs, going out to restaurant and eat food of each one's choice. 6.) I like cuddling and spending time making small talk, I like taking walks and holding hands.

[DryGermanGuy]

People used to date within their village. Fast forward 250 years and suddenly there seem to be 5 billion potential friends in this techno babble box called "Internet". Many people can't handle it.

[NathanDavis]

because it is easier for them to blame it on something else... and not really try

easier than working and yourself and finding your true worth

[IslaTheWitch]

because people want everything fast and easy way... and it's not how relationships work

[itsclearlynicholas]

I don't know why. Lol. Sometimes I think everyone or almost everyone, is just: messed up, to put it politely to them and to themselves politely lol 😂😆

[smahala1991]

Did you get this question idea from me? 😂😂

[beebella]

I mean, I didn't want to expose you or anything. 😂

[Miristheiss]

Social media, dating apps, feminism, hook up culture, promiscuity, entitlement, low character and values.

[loveslongnails]

Many people don't know what they want, and those who DO know what they want can't find it. It seems there's an awful lot of selfishness and mistrust going around too.

[Anonymous]

Because there's little point in it. Most guys know they will not meet a woman who loves them. If they do she won't love them as much as she loves herself so there's little point.

On the flipside women choose men that stroke her narcissistic tendencies. So she repeats the same toxic mistakes

Wash, rinse, repeat

Why do this when you can just stay single. You may not be "happy". But you won't be with somebody toxic only adding to your misery.

That's why.

[TallAnon]

Too many options; If there's 3 women in your area around your age, you're gonna pick one of em.
If there's 10 million an hour away.. No clue.

[Nikki1989]

For most people, it is not difficult at all. It is only the internet world that brainwashes people into thinking that is the case.

[Peridot25]

For one thing, no one wants anything serious. Everyone is stuck on their ex. Or they act like they want someone serious but don’t.

[Coden7]

Literally talking to a scammer right now. Who happen to be the only people who match with me on online dating

[laly520]

majority r after one thing n its super disgusting

[handsomelad70]

Maybe it's me, but it seems people play more head games (a 1979 Foreigner song) today than in past years.

[OtterMan68]

More people are being choosy.

Unrealistic expectations thanks to music, movies, and TV shows

[SotiCoto]

Because all human interaction has been cheapened and commoditised.

[dolemite58]

I think dating apps have given a lot of people the grass is greener syndrome like they always deserve something unrealistic.

[desidoll]

I agree. It used to be better back then. Women want “rich” men who own a yacht and men demand for women who look like the photoshopped ig models.

[Vegasrunner]

I think it depends on the value. I just posted a question about why it being a Golden Age of dating for HV man and even had an average man claim that dating was easy for him.

[NewgodOmega]

Give it time dating Will be completely gone in few years

[Friendlybro79]

Because it takes half a life to get started with an adult life (homeownership and kids).

[Fuentes]

Because you ignore me

[beebella]

🤣🤣

[Flower7]

Because of the internet.

[HighValue]

Moral incompatibility.

[Yannae]

Lack of commitment from one side.

[Djaay]

You actually are the winner on this question. The lack of commitment is the answer to most every aspect of failed relations and relationships .

[Yannae]

Thanks for the acknowledgement😊

[Anonymous]

People are becoming less lovable.

[Jennz6]

It’s difficult for me

[Overandunder89]

Why?

[Jennz6]

@Overandunder89 because of my work

[Overandunder89]

Just don't have much time?

[Jennz6]

@Overandunder89 every guy I have been with is jealous of my customers

[jahaims]

Societal and cultural values shifted

[MrDaveAPSI]

Divorce rate is at 75% of all marriages

[SolitarySolace]

Selfishness

[Chthou95]

Social media