Is it a red flag if your friends don't like the person you are dating?

[coachTanthony]

Yup

Nah

[MMelanieM]

I think its first important for you to build a strong connection with the girl first and feel comfortable and confident with her and both should feel secure with each other, before you introduce her to your friends. Because when you don't have a strong foundation anything anyone say can create a crack. Once your confident with her, then you can bring her into your world.

Not everything friends say are accurate, because they will look at it from their perspective. my friends have never liked anyone I liked, and they really go to town to try and convince me to leave the guy and some really do a lot of damage. In hindsight that's disrespectful towards me. They can give their opinion and IF there is a absolute RED FLAG, you can take your time to evaluate the situation and step back to see if you have missed out on the red flag and you can make a calculated decision.

[DrPepper12]

That was better advice than I gave. Thanks for making me reflect.

[MMelanieM]

@DrPepper12 Thanks & your welcome! :)

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I'd think so. If they really were fine, they wouldn't hate them. And if they hate them, there's a good reason to.

[HighValue]

Women that listen to their women friends are likely to be disappointed. The majority of women dislike good quality men that have standards because it makes those friends look bad since many of them have the exact bad qualities good men want to avoid in a partner. They don't want their friends to realize how bad of a person/friend they really are.

(Not directed at the asker, just to people in general): FYI, if someone is friends with someone, it means they approve of their behavior, which means anyone that stays friends with cheaters, drug users, promiscuous people, etc. approve of that behavior. Don't get upset if your mate has some of the bad behaviors that your own friends have because by having those friends, that means you support that behavior.

[molonski2]

Generally it actually is , because they are going to see beyond what you are most likely seeing , every time I have had this ( in the long run ) the friends have been correct , so its certainly a red flag in my opinion.

[Pinay_ako]

Depends. If the friends have a tangible reason to not like them. And warn me about

[Biancam13]

It depends. It depends which friends don't like him, and how many friends don't like him.

If it's one friend, then I will listen to their reason why, and see if it's reasonable or accurate. But if it's all my friends, and those friends are otherwise reasonable and rational people, then I would say it's a big red flag about the person I'm dating.

Since other people outside the relationship aren't as emotionally invested as I am, they can usually see the situation more objectively. So if ALL my friends or family don't like him, there's usually a solid reason that I'm not seeing.

[Miristheiss]

Maybe. It all just depends.

What are the specific faults or red flags they are highlighting.

What kind of people are your friends?

Party girls for example usually won't like a boyfriend because he is influencing her to be a relationship girl and to walk away from her partying, drinking life in the club. They don't want to lose their wing-girl and may try and break them up so they can get their fellow party girl back even though the life she is moving towards is the healthy, fulfilling life.

So, it just depends. What kind of people are the friends, what is their motivation in this and what are the specific faults/red flags they see. Maybe they do have some valid points and observations.

[HawkPerception]

I respect my best/only friend's opinion, but sometimes he can say some nonsense without knowing the full story. The truth is that it's true that people can sometimes see things a little more clearly and better outside of the relationship, but it's also true that they aren't in the relationship and don't know all the dynamic well enough to give input sometimes.

I think it's best to keep your relationship to yourself and work things out with your partner if you have any issues. However, sometimes you need to rant and it's okay to go to friends to find someone relatable and makes you feel better.

[OfMiceandMen]

Kind of tossed here, I can see some friends just being pissed at the person for taking up their friends time, so it being somewhat of a competition.

On the other hand, the person could be a real butt plug and your friends may have a point.

I think I would favor my dog or cats opinion over my friends who could be swayed somewhat. Your pet doesn't let their feelings get involved, it is just a sixth sense thing.

[tzdc21]

Sometimes it can be a red flag about he friends. Because it's not unheard of for friend to tell each other horrible advice to keep their other friends single so that they don't feel inferior to them because they can keep someone around and they can't. Just saying.

[robhazelnut]

If there's reason and evidence behind their dislikes, then it warrants an assessment of such claims and, if they make sense, one of my hypothetical partner.

[laly520]

their opinions won't affect relationship so not red flag

[coachTanthony]

You don't respect your friends opinions?

[laly520]

I mean I dont have such an issue, my friends approve of my guy
but if it was another case, I would listen to their opinions but I won't let it get to me or ruin my relationship but only if im sure of what I am doing

[coachTanthony]

Ok gotcha

[IslaTheWitch]

I would talk with my friend to understand what kind of "dislike" it is and would take their opinion into consideration

[electromagnetic]

It’s not a red flag but it does warrant a conversation. I’ve known my friends since we were 7 so for them to say they didn’t like the person I was dating, they might know something I don’t.

[NathanDavis]

not a red flag, no...

but it is something worth to consider... as my friends would not all dislike someone at the same time for no actual reason

[loveslongnails]

In which direction - about the person you're dating, or about your friends? LOL I think if they can offer unbiased and rational reasons why they don't the person, their objections deserve consideration. I wouldn't automatically think it's a red flag because a friend or two don't like the person. Now if five friends or more are ALL seeing something you're not, you best re-evaluate.

[ArrowheadSW]

It can be. But I wouldn't go just by that. I would take it into consideration though.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe. Depends why they don’t like the person. Might mean you just need better friends.

[JoePro_]

You have to be discerning. Is it a red flag about the date, or a red flag about the friends? Maybe your friends just don't want you happy. Like, if they're not in good relationships, maybe they're trying to make it to where you're not either.

[dolemite58]

Yep, sometimes it’s hard to see people objectively when ur too close to the situation. If people I trust say they don’t like her then they’re probably on to something.

[blueonblack22]

Depends. It sometime be jealousy. But my buddies are usually looking out for me. They won’t say anything but they will speak up if complain/need advice.

[RavVid]

I would have gone Maybe if it were an option. I chose Nah because of my experiences of the new girlfriend's girl friends setting about sabotaging the budding romance because they saw it as interfering with their friendship and resented it.

[Fireguy17]

they may either see that person for who they really are, or have known them before.
They aren't looking at them with rose colored glasses on, they see the real person.

[DrPepper12]

If they're your friends day value you and your future and they know you better than your SO. As much as you don't want to hear what your friends are saying, you really should pause and listen as much as you don't like it.