Is it a red flag if your friends don't like the person you are dating?

Question

MMelanieM · Accepted Answer

I think its first important for you to build a strong connection with the girl first and feel comfortable and confident with her and both should feel secure with each other, before you introduce her to your friends. Because when you don't have a strong foundation anything anyone say can create a crack. Once your confident with her, then you can bring her into your world.

Not everything friends say are accurate, because they will look at it from their perspective. my friends have never liked anyone I liked, and they really go to town to try and convince me to leave the guy and some really do a lot of damage. In hindsight that's disrespectful towards me. They can give their opinion and IF there is a absolute RED FLAG, you can take your time to evaluate the situation and step back to see if you have missed out on the red flag and you can make a calculated decision.

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

I'd think so. If they really were fine, they wouldn't hate them. And if they hate them, there's a good reason to.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Women that listen to their women friends are likely to be disappointed. The majority of women dislike good quality men that have standards because it makes those friends look bad since many of them have the exact bad qualities good men want to avoid in a partner. They don't want their friends to realize how bad of a person/friend they really are.

(Not directed at the asker, just to people in general): FYI, if someone is friends with someone, it means they approve of their behavior, which means anyone that stays friends with cheaters, drug users, promiscuous people, etc. approve of that behavior. Don't get upset if your mate has some of the bad behaviors that your own friends have because by having those friends, that means you support that behavior.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Generally it actually is , because they are going to see beyond what you are most likely seeing , every time I have had this ( in the long run ) the friends have been correct , so its certainly a red flag in my opinion.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Depends. If the friends have a tangible reason to not like them. And warn me about

Biancam13 · Answer

It depends. It depends which friends don't like him, and how many friends don't like him.

If it's one friend, then I will listen to their reason why, and see if it's reasonable or accurate. But if it's all my friends, and those friends are otherwise reasonable and rational people, then I would say it's a big red flag about the person I'm dating.

Since other people outside the relationship aren't as emotionally invested as I am, they can usually see the situation more objectively. So if ALL my friends or family don't like him, there's usually a solid reason that I'm not seeing.

Miristheiss · Answer

Maybe. It all just depends.

What are the specific faults or red flags they are highlighting.

What kind of people are your friends?

Party girls for example usually won't like a boyfriend because he is influencing her to be a relationship girl and to walk away from her partying, drinking life in the club. They don't want to lose their wing-girl and may try and break them up so they can get their fellow party girl back even though the life she is moving towards is the healthy, fulfilling life.

So, it just depends. What kind of people are the friends, what is their motivation in this and what are the specific faults/red flags they see. Maybe they do have some valid points and observations.

HawkPerception · Answer

I respect my best/only friend's opinion, but sometimes he can say some nonsense without knowing the full story. The truth is that it's true that people can sometimes see things a little more clearly and better outside of the relationship, but it's also true that they aren't in the relationship and don't know all the dynamic well enough to give input sometimes.

I think it's best to keep your relationship to yourself and work things out with your partner if you have any issues. However, sometimes you need to rant and it's okay to go to friends to find someone relatable and makes you feel better.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Kind of tossed here, I can see some friends just being pissed at the person for taking up their friends time, so it being somewhat of a competition.

On the other hand, the person could be a real butt plug and your friends may have a point.

I think I would favor my dog or cats opinion over my friends who could be swayed somewhat. Your pet doesn't let their feelings get involved, it is just a sixth sense thing.

tzdc21 · Answer

Sometimes it can be a red flag about he friends. Because it's not unheard of for friend to tell each other horrible advice to keep their other friends single so that they don't feel inferior to them because they can keep someone around and they can't. Just saying.

robhazelnut · Answer

If there's reason and evidence behind their dislikes, then it warrants an assessment of such claims and, if they make sense, one of my hypothetical partner.

laly520 · Answer

their opinions won't affect relationship so not red flag

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I would talk with my friend to understand what kind of "dislike" it is and would take their opinion into consideration

electromagnetic · Answer

It’s not a red flag but it does warrant a conversation. I’ve known my friends since we were 7 so for them to say they didn’t like the person I was dating, they might know something I don’t.

NathanDavis · Answer

not a red flag, no... but it is something worth to consider... as my friends would not all dislike someone at the same time for no actual reason

loveslongnails · Answer

In which direction - about the person you're dating, or about your friends? LOL I think if they can offer unbiased and rational reasons why they don't the person, their objections deserve consideration. I wouldn't automatically think it's a red flag because a friend or two don't like the person. Now if five friends or more are ALL seeing something you're not, you best re-evaluate.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It can be. But I wouldn't go just by that. I would take it into consideration though.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Maybe. Depends why they don’t like the person. Might mean you just need better friends.

JoePro_ · Answer

You have to be discerning. Is it a red flag about the date, or a red flag about the friends? Maybe your friends just don't want you happy. Like, if they're not in good relationships, maybe they're trying to make it to where you're not either.

dolemite58 · Answer

Yep, sometimes it’s hard to see people objectively when ur too close to the situation. If people I trust say they don’t like her then they’re probably on to something.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Depends. It sometime be jealousy. But my buddies are usually looking out for me. They won’t say anything but they will speak up if complain/need advice.

RavVid · Answer

I would have gone Maybe if it were an option. I chose Nah because of my experiences of the new girlfriend's girl friends setting about sabotaging the budding romance because they saw it as interfering with their friendship and resented it.

Fireguy17 · Answer

they may either see that person for who they really are, or have known them before. They aren't looking at them with rose colored glasses on, they see the real person.

DrPepper12 · Answer

If they're your friends day value you and your future and they know you better than your SO. As much as you don't want to hear what your friends are saying, you really should pause and listen as much as you don't like it.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@coachtanthony If my friends don't like the woman I'm dating, I would break up with her because my friends know me well. :)

FreyaRed · Answer

No. Unless they know the person since childhood then I will consider their negative opinion as valid.

rosemilk · Answer

no. "doesn't like" is an opinion. did they even give legit reasons why? they probably didn't.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Not at all. They are great for giving advice, but not infallible. I'm good at listening to everyone, and then choose the best option!

Wiredone · Answer

It might be a yellow flag. It might make me think " what do they see that I don't "? I might have to look at the big picture from an outsiders point of view.

Bricealan · Answer

Tell 'em to fuck off if they don't like

Somoneelse · Answer

I don't see it as a redflag. But I would like to know why the friends doesn't like him/her. Maybe they see or hear things I don't know about.

CheeseMonster · Answer

I'd think so. Either about the person you're dating, or about your friends.

Wien1938 · Answer

Years ago, I would have said "no" but I've seen too many instances of friends/family being proved right. I suspect it's intuition at play and it is far too easy to be blinded to your other half's faults.

Cyrius · Answer

Might be a red flage, but not the way you think: the friend might simply be jealous and feel attracted to the person you date. Especially if the friend constantly brings up his/her name for no reason

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Not necessarily, there could be a lot of reasons and there's a lot of varying levels of friends

Alex-Snow · Answer

I would respect their opinions but make the decision myself.

OtterMan68 · Answer

yes, because we can be blinded by love and lust and not see things clearly.

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah.. Let's be real, they're usually right!..

Dbtr99 · Answer

If they have legitimate reasons then yes.

AngryCarl · Answer

No, your friends are just jealous because you don't hang out with them any more.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Only if they hav sum legit grounds

nawtee_me · Answer

Yes, it is a red flag against my so called friends…..

msc545 · Answer

A major red flag.

austinbooth · Answer

I don’t care how they feel

LiamJHayden · Answer

Major if it's my closest ones.

Bismarck_96 · Answer

Some of them can see things that we don’t see

Anonymous · Answer

Yea. Because they’re pretty accepting

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

I’d tell them to eat a dick

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